General Dating Questions/Confused/Crush
Hi mike it's me again. The guy who was talking to the girl who went from texting like crazy to hardly at all after she lost custody of her kid and had a "Funeral" to attend. So she actually showed up for the second date I thought it went well. She didn't hug me at the beginning like she did the first time but we did hug twice at the end. We went out for pizza and then to the park we talked some more mostly about how our week went, what kind of movies, and hobbies we had etc. I asked if I could see her again and she eagerly said yes. So a few days later I call to set up the date. She doesn't answer and I leave a voice mail. As the day goes on I still don't hear from her, so I send her a facebook message. She messages me back on Wednesday about 30 minute after the time I wanted to meet. Here's her response "Im sorry my messanger hasnt let me view my messages from anyone i just now read that and im sorry i couldnt make the plans. I have orientation at meijer at one today and no gas in my car anyway but i am still really sorry" I haven't spoken to her since. I was thinking of giving it some time and asking again since her status has her listed as single and she hasn't posted anything about dating/seeing anyone but last night my coworkers start messaging me telling she just came up there to eat with some other guy and that he's probably the reason she ditched me. It actually sucks. It's like EVERY TIME I meet a girl we hit it off good and talk for little bit and then bam some other guy comes along and she just up and leaves for him. It's been that way since middle school I've seriously had no luck with women. Am I really that boring/bad undateable? What gives? I'm 26 I have a steady part time job, I live with my mom at the moment but so do a lot of other students, Heck there are guys living with their parents that don't even go to school and are unemployeed and they still get women!!! I go to college majoring in music with an emphasis on violin performance, I don't have a car at the moment but it'll be fixed in few weeks. I've always been rather introverted and extremely shy (I've had anxiety issues in the past) except for when I'm on stage, I try to dress nice, wear good quality cologne and stay on top of my grooming, I workout and do all the typical stuff they say will help me get the girl. What gives? Do you have any books you could recommend or websites for further reading etc.? What can I change to improve my odds? Everyone keeps saying your a good guy you just haven't found the right one...
PS. I learned my lesson about texting and I'll only use calls from now on and I'll keep the dates shorter, and not message her immediately afterwards. Also some friends have suggested I ask her out one last time and then call it quits but to me it feels like a waste..
Hello again. Yes I recall your situation. It is somewhat positive that she showed up for the second date. Did she mention doing any future activities with you while on this date? You didn’t wait quite long enough in between dates to call her to setup the next date. Remember, 3-5 days after the date and 5 is better. This is one of the ways to test her true interest level in you. If she truly has high interest level in dating you, she will go on a date with you even after waiting 5 days to contact her. Many guys think this is too long to wait to contact her again as they are afraid she will lose interest in them. If that were the case, she never had high interest level in you to begin with. This is hard for many guys to fathom. The other thing is that instead of having patience and self-control and waiting until she returned your voice message, you sent her a Facebook message. This is just as bad as texting her my friend.
My issue is that she is making excuses again for not getting back to you. We call this sending mixed messages. When a woman is giving you mixed messages, this signals low interest level in you unfortunately. Couple this with the fact that your friends saw her on a date with another guy, and I’d say it pretty clear that it’s time to move on. I think another date with this girl would be a complete waste of your time.
The dating world can be a tough place to be without the right tools and mindset. That is why I am on this site to help men improve themselves and their dating lives. I have a few suggestions for you. The first and simplest would be to order the book I consider to be the absolute best resource on dating advice written just for men. The book is titled “The System” written by Doc Love. I have been through nearly every book written on dating, and The System is still by far the best for men. If you would do me a huge favor once you do order this book, please send me your order number so that I can get credit for the referral from the book’s author.
The other suggestion I have for you is that I am starting my own paid dating coach service here soon and would enjoy the opportunity to work with you as one of my first clients. This would not be a free service, but I will work with you on an individual level to dissect and analyze your dating habits and make suggestions for improvements. We could work together for as long as you see fit. If you are interested in this paid service, I will send you pricing for my fees. At the end of the day, it will take an investment of your time and money to really improve all aspects of your dating game as well as forming a mindset of success not just with women but in all areas of your life. I hope to hear back from you on this. Otherwise, order the book, take care and good luck my friend!