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General Dating Questions/Future of Marriage in United States.


Every single day when I check the news and tabloids, more and more and more couples are getting divorced. Regardless of whether they had kids or not. If they were even married in the first place.

As you say, marriage is one of the formats of relationships. But even long term serious relationships where people live together without marriage for 20-30 years, those are breaking up daily too regardless of whether they have kids or not.

We live in a world of social networks, smartphones, text messaging, instant messaging, video chat software, dating sites, sex/affair sites like Ashley Madison, internet pornography/pictures/movies available all over your phone/computer, strip clubs, porn stars and strippers coming to your house for dances, open relationships, open marriages, workplace/school romances/flirting, casual sex, frequent business trips to other destinations, prostitutes, escorts, bisexuality, threesomes, orgies, BDSM, wild sex, and even if your neighbors/friends/family/colleagues see cheating happening, no one ever blabs to no one else like in the old days, because it's really no one's business.

This makes it super duper easy to cheat nowadays and leads to a lot of marriage breakdowns.

On the other hand, many divorces are also caused by financial problems. The housing market crashes every few years, and many people are graduating with hundreds of thousands of dollars of student loan debt that they have to pay back. Having a child is also hundreds of thousands of dollars. This leads to people divorcing, or hesitant to marry at all or have children/adopt at all in the first place.

Less and less people attend church, also many older adults marriages are breaking down at 60, 70, 80 years old, so there are less and less elders and priests demanding the youth marry as was the case in the past. Societal stigma of being divorced or never married or being a single mom/dad is obliterated in the United States now.

With the boom of dating sites, people are going on dates and having sex with different people every night and never calling them again, that they would never have rejected had it been real life or if they didn't have as many options.

Drinks, drugs, smoking, this is all open everywhere, and young teens are experimenting with this stuff, having casual sex, and pregnancies and abortions at young ages.

All of these factors lead to this kind of stuff.

This isn't just men rejecting marriage or sleeping around. I would say it's an equal amount of women being like this too, or at least very close in percentage.

This trend was mainly in United States, England, Australia, and Europe...but has now slowly started spilling over to Asian/Middle Eastern/African strict religious cultures as well (most people there are still married because being single is generally unheard of in those cultures, but the divorce rate there has spiked dramatically and many are on their 2nd marriage).

Are most people cynical about true love these days?

The celebrity divorce rate is high...but even for regular normal daily people it seems sky high too.

What do you see as the future for marriage, living together, divorces, and relationships? Even from 5 years ago in 2010, the year 2015 is dramatically different and the dating "rules" don't even work any more.

Yes most people still get married daily...even eternal bachelor George Clooney did...but it is much different now. At the very least, no one is a virgin on their wedding night.

What do you predict as a future outcome? Do you feel marriage will become obsolete one day? Do you feel society structure will collapse 50 years from now, if no one gets married?

What do you see life and the dating scene (in terms of marriage, commitments etc) being different in 5 years, 10 years, 15, 20, 25, 30, and 50 years from now? How are our grandchildren's lives going to be different than ours? What about the rest of the world outside Western cultures?

I'm interested in hearing your honest thoughts.


Hi Heather,

Sorry for the delay in my response as I have been away. Thank you for your question, and what a question it is! I certainly have a lot to say on this matter, but for the purposes of this forum, I will keep it as brief as I can.

If you look around the world today, you will notice that the vast majority of people out there believe that they will be happy when...fill in the blank. For many, that happiness is believed to come from finding the "right" person. Once that person is found, life is lived happily ever after. The reality, however, is that happiness cannot come from an outside source. It has to come from within each and every one of us. This is why I believe the rate of divorce continues to climb. Many People are jumping into relationships and marriages before they are happy within themselves. Eventually, they figure out that the happiness they thought they would get from this other person and from marriage do not quite pan out as they previously though. So they jump ship (divorce) only to find themselves in a similar situation with their next significant other, some of whom they decide to marry. The previous issue of not loving one's self and not attaining internal happiness still exist. They may get divorced again. This sends to the divorce rate even higher. It is only those wise souls that stop, take a step back, and evaluate why this keeps occurring. I do believe there is light at the end of the tunnel for us. As the divorce rate continues to climb, people will eventually have no other choice but to look within themselves for the answers. This is where all truth lies; within each and every one of us.

I cannot say with absolute certainty if the institution of marriage will last indefinitely. I believe there will always be those who seek committed relationships, but the marriage dynamic will certainly change. People may decide that the legal label of marriage is not all that important in the grand scheme of things.  Sure it is great for tax purposes, but functionally, I believe two people can simply be in a committed relationship with one another that lasts a lifetime but doesn't lead to marriage. I see nothing wrong with that. The ideology of marriage is something that has been engrained in us for decades. Most people assume that they have to get married to be happy, please their family, please their partner, have a stable family life, etc. I do not believe that to be true and I am married myself! I think it is the energy and effort that two people put into a committed relationship that really matters most, not the title of husband and wife.

The bottom line is that we are witnessing the unraveling of all the social dogma, religious dogma and institutions that have been pounded into all the brains of those people on planet Earth for centuries. This is a good thing in my mind. If people could learn to just let others be who they want to be in this world without judging them, comparing them, or labeling them as "good" or "bad," we would have a lot less strife to deal with in this world. However, people cannot wrap their heads around that idea. There has to be a "right" way to do things! At least, that's what we've been taught and been told. Sure there are morals and ethics to the matter that ARE important. I feel like if everyone could honor the equivalent of the Ten Commandments and otherwise let people express themselves fully and naturally, we would have a significant reduction in conflicts, wars, murders, hate crimes, etc. It is conformity that drives people to judge, make stupid decisions, and not allow themselves to express their true nature.

Sexual promiscuity, drugs, alcohol are all signs of the same thing I mentioned above...people looking for things in their external environment to make them happy, to fill that void they feel inside. In my opinion, that is reason behind the increase in all of these things. If people would stop and look within themselves to discover what that void is, they may realize that they can heal and fill that void in much healthier ways than sex, drugs and rock and roll. This process takes a great deal of time, effort and pain at times. Things most people do not want to give. It is far easier for these people to turn to the sex, drugs and alcohol for comfort. But that comfort is always temporary and fleeting. Even adultery is used in a similar way.

As for the future, the only constant is change. As a species, humans will always strive for expansion. That means technology is going to become an even greater part of our lives into the future. It will play heavily in dating and relationships, as it already is currently. It is my sincere hope for humanity that people can step back from the technology and remember that we are spirits having a human journey. The purpose of that journey is to experience joy and to expand ones awareness of self and their relationship to the cosmos.

In the end, I do have hope for our future generations. The kids who are being born onto this planet today already have a very different way of viewing the world. I believe we will get to a point when people will not look at each other as competition, as a prize to be won. If we can go inward and discover our passion and purpose and strive towards that, we will see real freedom and change in this world.  

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Mike Lamb


My expertise is in answering questions from men about dating women. I have a wealth of knowledge pertaining to nearly all facets of the dating world today. We all know that there are ways to be successful in dating, but what are they? I can answer that for you. I want to teach you how to find not just any woman who will date you, but the RIGHT woman who has long-term potential for a healthy relationship. That starts with how you act and treat women in the very beginning of the dating stages. I can teach how to get there and stay there for the duration of the relationship, on into marriage if that's where it leads. My aim is to teach you to respect yourselves as men first, to be gentlemen, and to change your life for the better. That is my passion. I want to support all good men in successful dating practices. I am not here to offer pick-up techniques or to help you get women into bed. My purpose is more noble than that. I cannot answer questions pertaining to psychology or psychological problems as these would best be addressed by a licensed mental health counselor.


For over a decade, I have dedicated myself to becoming a better man and to understanding women. This has led me to all sorts of seminars, training programs, books, etc. There is a wealth of information out there, but how much of it really is useful in real-world application? I have narrowed down the best and most-relevant information for men as it pertains to dating. This is information I have tested and learned in the real world from personal experiences and also gathered from the personal experiences of those closest to me.

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