General Dating Questions/Dating


Do people on dating sites have higher standards than people one might meet in person? It feels like those online expect more despite that they are using a site to suppliment their contacts.

Hello James!

Higher standards? No. Instead, they have more options and therein lays the rub.

Consider this: the average woman gets between 200-2000 responses to an online profile PER MONTH. That's each and every month! about 20% of those are "Hi" another 10% have some kind of content, but the rest of the 70% are of the "Oooh baby - you're sooooo hot!" variety.

What this does is cause women to withdraw from the entire process. After looking at 50 responses and getting the same, stupid garbage over and over again, when someone comes along that is actually a good possibility, these women just pass right by him without any consideration! I've actually seen this in action where women will take 1/2 a second and say, "Don't like his shirt...don't like his eyebrows...used the wrong form of 'you're'...", etc.

Even worse, us guys do a TON of harm to these women with our stupidity.

Imagine you're a nice, sweet girl on a dating site. You're not a "10" but you're not a "2" either. Then, 70% of the responses you get are telling you that you're "...the hottest thing in the 'net...". After 2 of those, big deal. After 20 of them, you start to think, "...maybe" but after 200 or 300 or 500 of them, you're convinced you should only be dating a-list celebrities!

James, I've seen women go (literally) years without a single date holding out for men they simply can't have because of this idiocy!

So, these aren't higher standards at all. They are unreasonable expectations. Worse yet, who cares if 1 or 2 or 50 don't pan out? There'll be another 200 there next month anyway.

The lesson is this: if you're going to try to use the internet to date, you'd better have your internet-game 100% in your back pocket. If you don't, you're just going to waste a ton of time, energy, emotions and resources with it - and get absolutely nowhere.


Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: You can email me directly at:


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

Doctor of Philosophy

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