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General Dating Questions/How to tell girlfriend she smells bad down there?


Hi Doctor Neder. This is more of a relationship question than a dating one so I hope you can still accept my question. I am a 23 year old male and my girlfriend is 24. She is actually my first girlfriend. We started having sex two months ago. The sex is great for the most part except for this one issue. She has what I can only describe as a very strong vaginal odor. It is sort of a pungent, acrid musk. It is very noticeable when I go down on her. I can also smell it during intercourse, although not as much as during oral. I am not sure what is causing it. She showers every day. She doesn't otherwise smell bad. Its just her vagina that smells.
What would be the most polite way to raise the issue with her? I don't want her to get upset.  Should I just say I'm worried about her health and she should see a doc about it?

Hello Rob!

Relationships, dating, stealth-fighter's all good.

First, be aware that all women's vaginas have an odor. This is perfectly normal and not a sign of a health problem or that something is wrong. In fact, the vagina is pretty damned clean! If you think about it, it's actually outside the body - just like the intestinal tract is. Yet, it is entirely self-maintaining and rebuilds itself every month. The fact is; the vagina is pretty damned cool!

There are conditions however that cause bad vaginal smells (usually accompanied by taste by the way) that are things to look at medically. Hopefully she visits her gyno regularly as she should and if so, any problem would be immediately diagnosed.

Here's my recommendation: Whereas going to the doctor is something people usually only do when they're sick, going to the gynecologist is something every woman should have in her routine. You can ask her when her next appointment is. When she asks why you're asking just say, "Well, I don't go to the doctor for checkups as often as I should. I thought I'd time it with yours since you need to go regularly. So, when's the next one?"

Let's talk about another aspect here. Since this is the first woman you've ever been with it's likely that you'll be more aware of any odor. This is because you haven't learned to associate it with a great time (yet). That's going to change and you'll very likely find that the smell of vagina actually turns you on in not so long a time.

Bottom line:

If she's otherwise healthy and your sex life is good (even great!) then understand that you're going to become more attached to the "smell of sex" and this isn't going to be much of an issue very soon.


Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: You can email me directly at:


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

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