General Dating Questions/Very Unattractive Guy


Hi Dr. Neder,
I am a member of a dating club, who finds dates for me which includes background checks. I am up to No.4, with 1 more date to go, according to the contract. Although the other three didn't work out, they were not unattractive. This guy wasn't supposed to send me his picture and he did. I saw it and jumped back and cleared my phone. I was in shock. After I caught my breath, I looked again. I am NOT AT ALL attracted to this man. We have talked several times, and the conversation is not too bad. I have agreed to still go out on a date with him this weekend, but really...I cannot see myself with this guy at all, much less KISS HIM. What can I say to let him down without him knowing I'm truly not attracted to him in the least. I would have never chosen this guy on my own, the dating service said we matched up...and they never let you see your date, they're all blind dates. But he sent his picture to me. I know this sounds very shallow, but doesn't everyone want to like the face that they're looking at, isn't that normal? I can't get over his face. I really don't want to look at it again but I don't want to hurt his feelings or seem callus or mean.
Please give me some advice quickly, the date is this weekend.
Thank you so much.

Hello Paula!

This really isn't that tough. All you need to do is to tell him that you don't "feel chemistry" between you and him.


Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: You can email me directly at:


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

Doctor of Philosophy

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