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General Dating Questions/Converting to Morminism for a girl

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Question
I was dating a LDS girl for about 2 years when she recently broke up with me because I am not Mormon. I am currently a Christian but I am not really a religious man and don't practice it that often. When we were dating I attended church and met with the missionary's to try and see if Morminism was right for me and I found out that it is not the best fit. I still love this girl very much and want to be with her the rest of my life but the only thing getting in the way Is me not being Mormon. What do I do?

Answer
Hello Andy!

First of all, I don't believe this was the only reason she dumped you. I'm not blaming you for anything specific; I'm just saying that this isn't likely to be the only reason. It's only one that is very difficult to defend, and thus, is an easy-out for her.

With that in mind; changing your "surface religion" isn't going to impress her very much especially if she's really committed to her beliefs. It's not in the label; it's in the contents here.

In other words, simply becoming Mormon doesn't MAKE you Mormon any more than claiming you're Italian (if you're not) makes you Italian.

Further, a belief system is a pretty deep-seated, important thing to a person. For you, it doesn't mean much by itself - you don't put a lot of importance on it. She apparently does. Just changing your "designation" shows a further lack of commitment to your current belief system - or lack of it.

So, in short, don't go chasing a label to try to impress anyone. If she can't see your value as you already are, the problem - and the loss - are with her, not you. Your job should be to find someone else who appreciates what you DO bring to the table. That woman will be amazing and you deserve to find her. This one; not so much.

Regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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Dr. Dennis W. Neder

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I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: http://beingaman.com. You can email me directly at: dwneder@beingaman.com.

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I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

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Doctor of Philosophy

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