General Dating Questions/Emotional fencing


Dear Azure,

I've been chatting with a 41 y/o woman thru an online dating site where I approached her (both look for relationships, and we've been sending msgs back and forth, asking and explaining, for 6 days or so. On Tue, at the end of my reply I told her that I liked her, and then asked her out like this:

"I want to invite you to a coffee and chocolate place where we can have a nice time and chat. Would this Friday be convenient for you?"

As we don't really know each other, i can't have a specific place, but i sound like it's going to be at Starbucks (she says she likes first dates for coffee). I don't want to ask where she is b/c she might have safety concerns, and I don't want to press her asking what she's doing and when, so i left it open

At the end of the msg I signed my name and my cell number (I'm a very private person and don't give my number easily, but I don't intend to send msgs forever at that dating site), and also to show her I'm well-intentioned

The next morning she left a msg:

"Good morning Richard. This weekend is a little though. Friday is my cousins birthday and going to dinner with her, Saturday I have a pool party and Sunday is Father's Day"

Pool party all day!? Wow! Can I show up? Just kidding!

She might be brushing me off? or testing how interested I am? playing hard to get? She might just be being sincere?

But I also have things on the weekend: 2 parties, Fathers Day, etc but even though, I made some room for her on Fri after work

At this point I decided not to bother her anymore during the weekend, but it was still Wed night, and I didn't want to leave her hanging w/o reply b/c she's replied to me all these days, etc...

So I wanted to be corteous, but I don't want to sound like I'm elated about her answer either, but honestly, I'd like her to have the best time! ... so I wrote:

"Good Morning Daisy. Thank you for letting me know. I agree with you, my weekend is also booked with 2 bdays, and Father's Day; that is why I set apart Fri after work to meet up. But sweetheart, I'm glad you're looking forward to a great weekend. Have fun!
Sincerely. Richard"

What could you tell me about my case? Did I messed up? Where? What can I do next?

Thank you in advance,


we'll give you a B...first, it's time to move past the emails, pick up the phone and actually converse; i always recommend talking on the phone before meeting anyone, because it reveals so much more, to the point where you may not even want to meet whoever it is; 2d, I think she really IS busy, so no big deal; 3d, you can't be using "sweetheart" when you haven't even met--save such terms for when an actual "relationship" has evolved; also, "sincerely" a tad formal...just use "R", your next move is to early next week suggest talking on the phone, at which time if all goes well, you can make a new plan with her to meet up...

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Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

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