Question So I've been hookuping on and off with this guy for almost a year, we hooked up a few times the beginning of last year, and then around January-May we hadn't hooked up or seen each other in person. We text and snapchat everyday, and he has told me many times in the past that he doesn't like me like that and doesn't want a relationship with me. We are both jrs in high school.
Apparently he started liking this girl a grade below us in late march or April, j don't know the exact timing. And she is very shy and reserved and is not experienced at all. They have hung out and j had heard from others that he wants to date her, but he won't make a move. He keeps hooking up with me and talking to me all the time like we are basically in a relationship. We even had all of our "firsts" together, and recently. The last time we hooked up we were in the car and we talked for about an hour and it was the best conversation we have ever had, there weren't any awkward silences and he laughed and I laughed and it was great. We barely did any thing in the back of the car bc it got so hot, but I was feeling this vibe that he wasn't really into the hookup and he's usually so into it. I feel like he more enjoyed the talking part, but that has never happened before.
I don't know what this means because if he really liked the other girl he wouldn't risk their relationship by him hooking up with me right? I really really like him but I don't know what to think about all of this. He recently liked some pictures she posted but he will never like mine. But yet he still wants to hookup and act Sorta relationship like with me. Do you think he's coming around to me?
Answer i think you're settling for far less than you deserve; the guy is just using you for sex, and has essentially told you that by his words and actions; eventually he will find a "real" girlfriend (if he hasn't already), and then he won't even need the sex; you can do better than this---save your self esteem by ending this arrangement, then concentrate on finding someone that truly likes and respects ALL of you, not just your body...
expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon request...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks
Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.
BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.
Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and loving...ps..azure announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to wishuponastar-ct.com