General Dating Questions/Should I tell crush abroad I like her?????
I recently just went on holiday to visit a friend in Mexico for a month and had a fantastic time there. Whilst meeting her friends & family, I met this one girl who immediately caught my attention. She is my friend’s best friend & although I didn’t say or do anything, my crush towards her started developing.
What I liked about her was she was just fun, open and inviting to talk to, no games or anything and has a bubbly personality. I returned back home to New York 3 weeks ago & since then we’ve keep in contact. We’ve sent messages on Snapchat, Whatsapp & even Skyped last weekend! Just some things I’ve noted - she mostly initiates contact with me, she said she likes foreigners & said she likes my accent, and normally comments on my snapchat pics. Some people think she’s just being friendly (bubbly fun character) & others think she may like me back…
The thing is we live in different countries & I don’t know If I will ever see her again. I’m 25, she’s only 20 & if i tell her i like her, I have this feeling it will end badly / lose all contact!! Yet even though we live apart, my urge to tell her is just growing! Do you think i should tell her, or just keep it to myself as you never what may happen in the future.. My friend already knows I have a crush on her, but hasn't said anything....Thanks!
You need to understand that its not just about telling her about your feelings. You also need to consider that if she has similar feelings for you, how you are going to make the relationship work. Long-distance is never easy, specially in your case where you live in different countries and would not 'naturally' visit the other country it would be doubly difficult to manage.
You need to consider if you are ready for this type of relationship. It is incredible tough not being able to meet with your girlfriend for a long time. You will have to work out ways to feel close to each other, be really good at communicating with each other because that is the only connection you will have. There will always be issues and the feeling of helplessness when you can't talk face-to-face and resolve misunderstandings.
That being said, if you really like this girl these should not be any reason not to tell her. IF you like her enough and are ready to accept a long-distance relationship, there is no reason this cannot be the most fulfilling relationship you ever have. Long-distance relationships can be hard but there are countless couples who make them work and there is nothing compared to the feeling when you meet your partner after a long time. You need to decide if you think you can make it work.
There is always a possibility that in case you tell her and she does not reciprocate the feelings, you will lose contact. You need to ask yourself whether you would rather tell her and not have her like you or if you can live with just being her friend and not have her know about your feelings. But there is always a possibility that she likes you to and is waiting for you to say something. Are you ready to let go of that?
In the end it boils down to how you feel about her and how much risk you are willing to take. You need to think about all the scenarios and decide what it is you really want. Only you can answer that question.
Hope this helps.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Thanks for the response. A great response!
I'm caught in 2 minds like you said - either i tell her, get it off my chest & possibly risk losing all contact OR keep it to myself & maintain contact now and then. But then, if there's a high chance I'll never see her again, then shouldn't I tell her?
Unfortunately some people have given me different advice - some say tell her, some say don't tell her and keep her as a friend because it's too early and I barely know the girl that well.
Seriously speaking, If YOU were in my position, what would you do? Please don't hesitate in giving me your opinion & perspective.....
You already know the pros and cons of telling her and not telling her. I understand that its a difficult decision to make but only you can know her well and have an idea of how she will react. Personally, it would be difficult to say what I would do without experiencing the situation myself.
You need to think it through and decide basis how she will reach and what you can live with. My only suggestion would be to make sure you don't have any regrets going forward. Hope this helps.