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About Dr. Dennis W. Neder
(Top Expert on this page)

Expertise
I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: http://beingaman.com. You can email me directly at: dwneder@beingaman.com

Experience
I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women". I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 25,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

Education/Credentials
Doctor of Philosophy

You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Dating > General Dating Questions

Questions Answered By Expert Dr. Dennis W. Neder
In Category General Dating Questions

Subject	Date Asked

advice	11/21/2009
Q: Dennis, I have a bachelors degree in biochemistry and biophysics. Throughout college I had some ... A: Yes, the job market is very, very thin right now. On the up-side, I do have a number of ideas for ...
building attraction continued	11/20/2009
Q: Hey dear Dr. how`re you? I`ve had 2 successful dates with this new girl.I did my best to share ... A: Don't try to be too formulaic with dating. Try to go after "every Friday night" or "twice every ...
Starting a new relationship	11/20/2009
Q: Dennis W. Neder, This is Sai. I am 22 years old male Doing my engineering studies. I'd ... A: I agree that you missed those years. The good news is that it's never too late to start. I didn't ...
meeting older men	11/20/2009
Q: I'm 30, but for some reason I keep getting 19-21 year old boys hitting on me. I would like to meet ... A: What's your real question here: how to meet older guys or how to prevent younger guys from hitting ...
Too much too soon?	11/20/2009
Q: I've only known him for two weeks, and we've recently gone on a few dinner dates and one group ... A: You think the nice gesture of making him a pie is too much, too soon? Karolyn, we're coming into the ...
Online Dating	11/19/2009
Q: I'm on a highly reputable dating site. I was matched with an AMAZING guy who is about 800 miles ... A: You're asking the wrong questions here entirely. What you should be asking is "How can I even HAVE a ...
My ex	11/17/2009
Q: When i was dating my now ex boyfriend and cheated on him with my now boyfriend. Is it ok to be ... A: It is neither good nor bad. The quality of the relationship is based on what you make of it. If your ...
Love on Wallstreet	11/17/2009
Q: I'm 23. Single. Never married. Live alone. Get paid well. Have a cat. Clean my kitchen regularly. ... A: I'm glad you're happy with the answers. I can only make 4 people happy a day and it just happened to ...
can we be together again?	11/16/2009
Q: A year ago I was in a relationship for two years and we were very much in love. We were only in ... A: Wow - you sure have a lot of pop-psychology behind your rationalizations here! You say you've grown ...
Starting Over	11/16/2009
Q: I have started dating again after a couple of devastating relationships. I don't want to elaborate. ... A: Here's the problem: you're leaving everything (including your own trust) in these guy's hands rather ...
Love on Wallstreet	11/16/2009
Q: I'm 23. Single. Never married. Live alone. Get paid well. Have a cat. Clean my kitchen regularly. ... A: Wait a minute - wait a minute. You have a cat???? ;) I had to laugh at your equating dating ...
building attraction	11/15/2009
Q: Hey dear Dr. how`re you? I`ve had 2 successful dates with this new girl.I did my best to share ... A: The first thing I'd recommend is this: healthy relationships are built on equal investments from ...
What is going on?	11/15/2009
Q: I met a man 4 mnths ago but just recently started seeing him again after I broke things off with him ... A: I hear what you're saying. The problem is that he already knows you're willing to break up when ...
getting an ex back	11/15/2009
Q: Neder I've asked for your advice a dozen of times and every single one helped me far more then you ... A: I'm happy I've helped you so far, but maybe it's time to get ALL the information you need in one ...
What is going on?	11/15/2009
Q: I met a man 4 mnths ago but just recently started seeing him again after I broke things off with him ... A: Oh Patricia. Really? This is the type of relationship you want? You seem to think that it's all his ...
Declining a date	11/14/2009
Q: I get the sense that a friend of some friends of mine might ask me out. I only met him once, but I ... A: Denigrating someone's lifestyle choices isn't a very good idea. He smokes for whatever reason he ...
plan witht he ex girlfriend	11/14/2009
Q: 1. what are the some of the easiest and best excuses to use when a ex girlfriend ask if you want to ... A: Hey Chris! Well now! Aren't you just full of questions today??? Simply saying "no" is a rejection; ...
love, caring, lust, jealous	11/14/2009
Q: 1. what questions do i ask myself if i want to marry my girlfriend? (my friends always say ask ... A: 1. "What in the hell am I thinking?" is the first one to ask. Chris, why marriage? I'm not against ...
feelings for ex girlfriend	11/13/2009
Q: What should i do about my feelings for my ex girlfriend? we broke a couple of years now and we both ... A: OF COURSE you still have feelings for your ex! That's something of a gift from Mother Nature! After ...
Help!	11/12/2009
Q: I don't like any of my boyfriend's friends but I love my boyfriend, is that healthy or not? Also, ... A: When a woman tells me that her boyfriend doesn't tell her the truth or hides things from her, my ...
Help..	11/12/2009
Q: Alright so my gf and I have have been dating for a year and a half. We have no problems except for ... A: You like to give "...once and a while..."??? No wonder she doesn't want to have sex with you! ...
HELP!	11/12/2009
Q: Dr. Neder, College started up again, and I began talking to this guy for about 2 months. During this ... A: Ah yes. The old "Window of Opportunity" ("WOO"). Let me explain what happened: We all want to think ...
confused	11/11/2009
Q: The problem is that he was living with this girl for 4 years and now she has pitched again claiming ... A: No, it's not wrong to feel that way, but it is wrong to try to punish him for not doing what you ...
Am I wasting my time?	11/10/2009
Q: Me and my bf have been together for 1 1/2 years and we are both 23. I am currently in grad school ... A: Let's be clear on what you mean here: when you say "...the effort a long-distance relationship ...
Is it really over?	11/9/2009
Q: Haven't talked to a guy I had been seeing in about 2 weeks. He's been avoiding my calls or responds ... A: Because he controls everything and he doesn't want things to be over. The reality of relationships ...
Chase versus Commitment	11/9/2009
Q: I'm dating this wonderful girl, but we've been going through issues in regards to the "chase" ... A: Yes, I know exactly how you feel. Frankly, this is a dangerous, ridiculous game! If you get too ...
Need help recovering from a breakup	11/9/2009
Q: Neder, I would be very grateful if you can read my story and give me some advice. I'll try to keep ... A: You're making decisions about yourself for girls you haven't even met yet! These girls aren't going ...
Sex	11/8/2009
Q: Me and my girlfriend have had sex a few times. Sometimes it feels like it is take take with her. She ... A: I'm assuming that you're male. Heterosexual relationships differ from homosexual ones in this case. ...
am i a jealous boyfriend?what can i do?	11/8/2009
Q: everytime my girlfriend says a guy is hot or attractive, even a celeberty i start to ahte the person ... A: "Too jealous"? No, I don't think you're too jealous, but there's a balance here. There's a very big ...
What now?	11/7/2009
Q: This is a rather involved question. Sorry about that. Im 27 years old and the girl I am referring ... A: Four years??? Andrew - four years??? What in the hell are you doing here? She knows how you feel ...
chance	11/6/2009
Q: So I like this guy Jason at school and I was talking to a group of men at lunch when he walked by. I ... A: Hey Tess! Sexuality is a very complicated subject. I can't tell you specifically why you have this ...
chance	11/6/2009
Q: So I like this guy Jason at school and I was talking to a group of men at lunch when he walked by. I ... A: These are actually really great questions! Let me talk about the bad aspects first. Many guys use ...
Should I expect him to call?	11/6/2009
Q: Here is what happened. Last Saturday, I got hooked with this guy on a party. He is a long time ... A: I'm sorry you haven't heard from him yet. Today being Friday puts this at 6 days since you've seen ...
chance	11/5/2009
Q: So I like this guy Jason at school and I was talking to a group of men at lunch when he walked by. I ... A: It's a generic remark made by guys that watch too much porn. Since they see all this hard fucking ...
meeting men	11/5/2009
Q: Dennis, I'm 31. I would like to meet some great guys. I work on Friday and Saturday nights and most ... A: Wow - you sure think I'm dumb! You can access THIS website but not mine? Come on here Tina, give me ...
bf	11/4/2009
Q: Been with my BF for 6yrs. We’ve drifted apart and got back together thousands of time. We are two ... A: What to do??? Answer: TALK TO HIM ALREADY!!! Tameka, you don't know what's on his mind because ...
Should I expect him to call?	11/3/2009
Q: Here is what happened. Last Saturday, I got hooked with this guy on a party. He is a long time ... A: 1. Yes, I think he'll call. It's Thursday and he should have called you by now. 2. No, it wasn't ...
disappearing	11/2/2009
Q: I am a divorced 40 year old woman. I have been off and on dating websites for five years. My ... A: Therein lies your first problem: dating websites. Abigail, the reality is this: when you meet ...
meeting men	11/2/2009
Q: Dennis, I'm 31. I would like to meet some great guys. I work on Friday and Saturday nights and most ... A: I agree with you: bars, pubs, clubs, the internet, etc. aren't great places to meet great guys. On ...
what should I do?	11/1/2009
Q: Ok, I have a friend. I like her brother. he is amazing. blonde hair,blue eyez,sweet,funny, ,ostly ... A: First of all, you can get your girlfriend to help you here by setting you two up. Second, if you ...
Relationship issues	10/31/2009
Q: I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a month. In the last week Ive been staying at his ... A: I have no idea what happened to him. Only he knows. If you have a relationship, then you should call ...
Approaching a guy	10/30/2009
Q: My question you probably get very often lol but anyway here it goes: There is this guy I'm ... A: Yeah, there's actually a ton of things like this. Check the e-book as it's pretty detailed. Best ...
problem	10/30/2009
Q: What should I do?I want to go out with her. There's a girl that lives about 35 minutes away,and I ... A: You contact her on facebook and start a little small talk like "what are you going to do with your ...
long-distance relationships	10/30/2009
Q: I was introduced to this gal by a friend of mine,in fact my friend gave my number to ... A: Please, please don't do this to yourself. The reality is that long-distance relationships never work ...
being in the control of the relationships	10/30/2009
Q: what does it mean to be in the control of the relationship?Generally speaking,what should guys do to ... A: This is a short, but excellent question! I wish more men thought this way. Being "in control" of ...
Approaching a guy	10/29/2009
Q: My question you probably get very often lol but anyway here it goes: There is this guy I'm ... A: No, don't compliment him on his looks. That's a very weak approach and after you've done it, where ...
Confused about her behavior	10/29/2009
Q: Neder. Ok. My problem involves a woman I met last summer. Here's some background info. I was 41 when ... A: If you can pare this down into just the essence of the problem, I'm happy to try to help you. Best ...
Confused about her behavior	10/29/2009
Q: Neder. Ok. My problem involves a woman I met last summer. Here's some background info. I was 41 when ... A: I'm sorry dude, I simply don't have the time to read this huge, long message! Remember: you only ...
Shy	10/29/2009
Q: I took the girl, I've been crushing on for almost 1 year, to "Where the Wild Things Are". We met at ... A: Weird? Why? Frankly, it's a lot of fun! You might bring a frisbee or a board game with you to play, ...
Getting an ex back	10/28/2009
Q: ok, I know their are lots of books out on the net claiming that you can get your ex back. Does any ... A: Even a broken watch is right twice a day, and yes, many people DO get their ex's back - some from ...
Shy	10/28/2009
Q: I took the girl, I've been crushing on for almost 1 year, to "Where the Wild Things Are". We met at ... A: This is why I tell people to avoid movies, concerts, comedy clubs, etc., on first, second and even ...
Awkwardness after making a move on a friend	10/27/2009
Q: There's this girl I am interested in that I've hung out with for a few weeks. A couple days ago we ... A: No, I don't think it went too fast but she's worried that you do. This is why she's acting distant ...
confused	10/27/2009
Q: The problem is that he was living with this girl for 4 years and now she has pitched again claiming ... A: Frankly, you only have two choices: either agree to live as the second woman or tell him to make a ...
Trouble etting over ex GF who dumped me	10/27/2009
Q: Sir - I have just been dumped (5 weeks ago) by what i thought was the love of my life. We met at ... A: DO NOT send her a rose or a card or anything! You need to get entirely over this girl - not try to ...
how to meet guys?	10/27/2009
Q: I'm 29 years old. I have moved back in with my parents for the next 6 months. I've finished my 2nd ... A: Huh??? They expect you to be home on Friday and Saturday nights? Why - is that when they get their ...
the plan for the date	10/26/2009
Q: how`re you?I`ve had two successful dates with this gal.To create more rapport with her,in the second ... A: Yes, talking about the novel would be a good idea. Best regards... Dr. Dennis W. Neder ...
on a break	10/26/2009
Q: I'm 23 and currently on a "break" from a 4 month relationship. She gave me every indication that she ... A: Here's my insight: this girl is a fucking rude, self-centered, inconsiderate bitch and you're an ...
Teacher/Student - How to become close friends?	10/26/2009
Q: Neder, Firstly, I would want to say thank you for taking your time to read my question. I really ... A: You're very welcome. When you can figure out what's in it for him, you'll then have a basis for ...
my (nonexistent)love life.	10/26/2009
Q: I am 18 years old. I graduated high school early, I'll be done with esthiology school in December ... A: Ok, so you believe you can "read" guys and they aren't worth "it" (whatever that is). You don't want ...
Teacher/Student - How to become close friends?	10/24/2009
Q: Neder, Firstly, I would want to say thank you for taking your time to read my question. I really ... A: You're really playing with fire here. He has a ton to lose - at least right now - and further, ...
lying	10/24/2009
Q: my girlfriend of almost a year now keeps lying to me. she goes out with her friends to the bar, and ... A: First of all, if this were simply about lying, it'd be yelling at you. The reality is that EVERYONE ...
girl	10/23/2009
Q: There is a certain girl that I have not spoken to in about 2 years. Recently I texted her and we ... A: Yes, they are. Seriously, is that your question? Best regards... Dr. Dennis W. Neder ...
relationship and the past	10/22/2009
Q: I loved this girl very much but everything became pretty different when we both went to college and ... A: As the song goes, "Love the one you're with". Sure you have lingering feelings for your ex. You ...
Give up?	10/21/2009
Q: I recently became interested in a boy that my bestfriend (JD), his girlfriend (Sara) and I had met ... A: You do have a chance, but I think you need to work on other options as well. Start meeting and ...
A little confused here....	10/20/2009
Q: I will have to apologise in advance because this is going to be quite a long question and I feel it ... A: Is there hope between you? Byron, there's always hope. That's really not the question to ask ...
Being in the control	10/19/2009
Q: Dr.how`re you?Two dates with this gal had gone well until yesterday;today as I had the plan to ask ... A: I don't know what she's doing, but I know what you're doing: the weakest, wrongest thing you could ...
I asked her out	10/19/2009
Q: I asked her out and all she said was 'can we just be friends?' I have never hung out with her before ... A: The answer to the question, "Can we just be friends" is always the same: "Nope!" Then, when she ...
date someone i met online & hooked up with?	10/18/2009
Q: A few months ago I was feeling really implusive, got on craigslist (oh all places!), and ended up ... A: Beyond the sexual attraction, you need to ask yourself if this guy is really what you are (or might ...
Group Dinner	10/17/2009
Q: I met a boy on Sunday (we're both 19). He had been talking to my best friend (JD) and his new ... A: Hang out = friends That's a pretty simple formula, so good job if you want to be this guy's friend ...
How to?	10/16/2009
Q: this is my first question. I am a 17 year old male who likes a girl my age. We been going to the ... A: You have a number of issues going on here. First, let's deal with the shyness: so you're "shy" huh? ...
Advice	10/16/2009
Q: I am 36 and never married and for a long time I had online (e-mail) contact with a woman (34) which ... A: Here's what you're missing: women never say "no". What you want is an absolute, but women simply ...
Group Dinner	10/16/2009
Q: I met a boy on Sunday (we're both 19). He had been talking to my best friend (JD) and his new ... A: First of all, I'm very proud of you for taking the initiative here. Do you know how few girls will ...
clingy?	10/15/2009
Q: I recently started dating a girl about three months ago, we are both 23. My problem lately is that I ... A: No, you're not being clingy. On the flip side, don't reorganize your schedule unless you have first ...
Sex - female orgasms	10/14/2009
Q: I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about 6 months now. We are in our late 20's. I ... A: First of all, congratulations for being concerned about this. Many guys simply brush it off and just ...
Break up	10/13/2009
Q: I started dating this guy sometime around March. Things went fairly well but he wasnt the type of ... A: What you want is a name. What he wants is everything you had before without that name - and his ...
My lingering thoughts about her past relationships	10/9/2009
Q: I am in a relationship with a wonderful girl, who is totally into me, and I am totally into her! ... A: You're very welcome. Best regards... Dr. Dennis W. Neder President ...
I have a problem	10/9/2009
Q: Neder! Ok, I really need some good advice for this one and I hope you can help me. I took this girl ... A: Your parents, friends and older siblings are wrong - if they have the same story I have. Either way, ...
which way of speaking is a turn-on for women ?	10/9/2009
Q: ,how`re you?As the way of communication and speaking with women can be a MAJOR turn-on for ... A: As with most things in life, it's not a single answer. In fact, it depends on the situation and on ...
My lingering thoughts about her past relationships	10/8/2009
Q: I am in a relationship with a wonderful girl, who is totally into me, and I am totally into her! ... A: Yes, I agree - this is a non-issue and you shouldn't be having these strong, negative reactions to ...
I have a problem	10/8/2009
Q: Neder! Ok, I really need some good advice for this one and I hope you can help me. I took this girl ... A: You want some "good advice"? Well, sorry brother, you're just going to have to step up and take the ...
No Contact	10/7/2009
Q: Dr. Neder, I am writing because of a breakup with my girlfriend that happened about 7 weeks ago. ... A: Yes, it's perfectly normal. When you break up with someone, you feel like you've lost that part of ...
FAKE MARRIAGE	10/7/2009
Q: I just wanted to know if 2 people committed fraud because they married each other and they are ... A: What in the HELL are you doing here? This is none of your damn business! Why are you getting ...
ex boyfriend	10/6/2009
Q: I just met the most wonderful women a little over a month ago. I was actually on a blind date when I ... A: I agree that you need to fight this, but you need to do so wisely. If you simply tell her that you ...
He's contacting me! Why?	10/3/2009
Q: My boyfriend of 5 and a half years (the last two were long distance) broke up with me in the middle ... A: When you spend 5 years with someone you develop patterns that are difficult to break. It's often not ...
my boyfriend loves me way more than i love him	10/1/2009
Q: Neder, Thank you in advance!!! I met this guy online six months ago..He looked much older than his ... A: You're welcome in advance!!! Now, I'll go read your question... OF COURSE he's being obsessive ...
Clueless	9/30/2009
Q: A little over a month ago, I went out with a person I had contact only through msn (messenger) for ... A: I don't get this. First you're telling me how much time you and he are spending together and in the ...
dating advice	9/30/2009
Q: I was speaking to a guy constantly on msn and through texts, we met up and had an amazing weekend ... A: Actions, not words. Actions, not words. Actions, not words. Continue to repeat that phrase until it ...
what should i do after sex? what happen next?	9/29/2009
Q: So i've been dating this guy since May. IT's been over 4 months. Last saturday, we went over to his ... A: You absolutely need to contact him. If you pull back now, you're going to lose him. Let me explain ...
no subject	9/29/2009
Q: I've dated several men throughout my life and had mainly positive experiences with each one. I have ... A: First of all, don't discount seeing a therapist about this. So far you haven't found one that will ...
Asking her out	9/29/2009
Q: "Hey Dr.how`re you? today,in the first session of our econoimc class in the university ,I met ... A: Absolutely! You should also ask for her phone number. Personally, I never meet any woman for a date ...
I don't know how I feel about her.	9/29/2009
Q: Ok, this will be quite a long one as there are many areas I need to touch on so that you can ... A: In this looooooooooooong letter you have me absolutely nothing to work with here! I can't make out ...
Fingering.	9/28/2009
Q: My boyfriend fingered me yesterday and now im getting pains in my vagina when i use the toilet to ... A: No, it's not normal. It could very well mean that you might have a scratch or a small tear that is ...
cousin	9/27/2009
Q: neder I had a question and I feel rather embarrassed by it. But me who is 18 and my cousin who is 14 ... A: Don't be embarrassed by these questions. Where else are you going to get them answered??? When you ...
Seasonal Dating	9/25/2009
Q: For many years since I was a teenager I have noticed that during the months of September thru March ... A: I don't know that there has been any particular research done on this however, it might be due to ...
the plan for the date	9/25/2009
Q: ,How`re you?It`s Siavash again.I`ve had a first date with this gal,which went very well.As far as ... A: I agree with her. Every 3 weeks? Why are you waiting so long? If you're trying to build a ...
Break up	9/25/2009
Q: Good Afternoon, I am writing you today because last month my year-long relationship with my ... A: Regarding your ex, yes, you cut her out of your life completely - in every way. Think of it this ...
Simple Question Dr. Neder...	9/25/2009
Q: I have dated girls anywhere from 5'1 to 5'5 inches tall and even had girls 5'6 or 5'8 be attracted ... A: You shouldn't be worried about your height. You're actually above average! The average height for ...
Break up	9/24/2009
Q: Good Afternoon, I am writing you today because last month my year-long relationship with my ... A: You are absolutely right - you DO NOT want to be her friend. That's like her just throwing you a ...
Confused Love	9/24/2009
Q: The situation is quite complex. I am coming up on my 3 year anniversary with my girfriend. We met in ... A: Yes, everybody wants to believe that these LDR's can work and I'm not surprised at all that you do ...
Gay friend.	9/23/2009
Q: Ok Dr., here is the basic info for this-I am in my early 20s, so is she. -We went to high school ... A: So, he's gay AND he's an Attention Whore? Absolutely you can ask for what you want. However, don't ...
Couple Games	9/23/2009
Q: "Me and my boyfriend sometimes have trouble with conversation. Sometimes, we play games like "The ... A: How about the game, "Let's ask the expert that should be helping people with real problems"? Heard ...
Need advice	9/23/2009
Q: Neder! I need some advice badly. I am 17, senior in high school and no experience with woman. But ... A: Here's something you need to know about the dance: it's not about the dance itself. That is a ...
Gay friend.	9/23/2009
Q: Ok Dr., here is the basic info for this-I am in my early 20s, so is she. -We went to high school ... A: Well, I'll say this: you've been paying attention in class! By the way - you've been using the ...
Confused Love	9/22/2009
Q: The situation is quite complex. I am coming up on my 3 year anniversary with my girfriend. We met in ... A: Medical school is a very difficult, time consuming experience. I fully understand why she's asked ...
The girl in my college class	9/22/2009
Q: Hey, I'm a college student over in San Diego. There are literally beautiful looking women every 10 ... A: You're lost because you're giving her all your power. You don't want to make a mistake here (and ...
hey dr nader	9/22/2009
Q: you answered one of my questions about my girlfriend who went out with another guy a while back. i ... A: If you appreciated my feedback, it seems only common courtesy to spell my name correctly. Oh well, ...
Getting back together w an ex-boyfriend	9/21/2009
Q: Neder! Here's theWhat do you think about getting back together with a partner who has cheated? I am ... A: First, there's nothing "traditional" about being impersonal. Men aren't that way by nature, that is ...
Should I care about this?	9/20/2009
Q: I am dating a man age 56. I am 55. He is a remodeler/handyman by trade. He has been on unemployment ... A: I couldn't be more pleased to hear about your decision. He's very lucky - too. Best regards... Dr. ...
booty call or not?	9/20/2009
Q: My best friends boyfriend is in the navy and he lives with his friend downtown. When we go out ... A: I can't tell you what he was thinking. I simply don't read minds. He's the only one that knows that ...
Should I care about this?	9/19/2009
Q: I am dating a man age 56. I am 55. He is a remodeler/handyman by trade. He has been on unemployment ... A: If you can, let's try a little experiment. Let's turn the tables and make you the guy here. Would ...
Dilemma!	9/19/2009
Q: Neder, I hope that all is well with you. My dilemma is that I still have feelings for someone ... A: Wow, you have a TON of issues going on here. I'm particularly concerned with your fear of being ...
not calling too soon	9/19/2009
Q: I`ve got this gal`s number today,how many days should I wait before calling her for the first time ... A: I don't know enough about the situation to advise you. How old are you? Where and under what ...
she said my friend	9/19/2009
Q: .i asked this girl out 2 times and she said no.. so i ignored her now she talk to me in very nice ... A: It means that she no longer sees you as potential boyfriend material. You have become the "friend" ...
Pulling a college number.	9/18/2009
Q: Ok Doc, so heres the long and short of it: -I am 21 and a college senior at a good school -She is a ... A: Wait a minute here. There are some very big issues unrelated to whether you can get hard or not. ...
relationship	9/18/2009
Q: ok it all started 4 months before me and my girlfriend were going out.i was at the skatepark and ... A: Why are you so afraid of a period (".")? If you throw a few of them in there, I can actually ...
We had sex lastnight, how long should I wait for him to call?	9/17/2009
Q: I'm a single 29 year old female, I met a guy (he's 24) on a popular dating website. We met up for ... A: Have you ever noticed that when you look at a jigsaw puzzle that's missing one last piece, your eye ...
New relationship. Girl I like.	9/17/2009
Q: (Sorry for extremely long length) OK. Here's the situation, in which I have a few questions.(I'm 15, ... A: Hey Steve! Yes, kiss her. Hold her hand. Talk about her and get to know her. Find out what she ...
confused and heartbroken	9/17/2009
Q: i would like to ask you some questions, hope you are able to answer it. Thanks Recently (about one ... A: Dare I ask how you know this? No, please don't tell me. I'm just going to yell at you. You have a ...
I still love my ex.	9/17/2009
Q: Recently, my ex-boyfriend from three years ago contacted me. First off, we were engaged and he got ... A: The emotions came rushing back - as they always do. This is absolutely expected. You want absolutes ...
Called girlfriend out on her past, now were broke up.	9/17/2009
Q: It seems my girlfriend of 2 mos has a rocky past in previous relationships. She introduced me to a ... A: You want this girl back??? Tim! What in the hell are you thinking??? First of all, what's wrong ...
advice	9/16/2009
Q: I have two questions rolled into one. It's both a dating and career question. I'm a 32 year old ... A: Yes, I agree. If he were truly interested in you, he'd have at least responded. I suggest it's time ...
New relationship. Girl I like.	9/16/2009
Q: (Sorry for extremely long length) OK. Here's the situation, in which I have a few questions.(I'm 15, ... A: How does that make you a "pimp"? Come on here! We're only talking about a kiss - you're not trying ...
advice	9/15/2009
Q: I have two questions rolled into one. It's both a dating and career question. I'm a 32 year old ... A: Some people have a very hard time saying "no" - especially in the corporate world. they will give ...
Hard to accept my boyfriends relationship with his ex wife	9/15/2009
Q: My boyfriend and I been dating for a year, this is a long distance relationship. I love him very ... A: Well, you obviously know a lot more about all of this than I do. Why are you wasting your time ...
Hard to accept my boyfriends relationship with his ex wife	9/15/2009
Q: My boyfriend and I been dating for a year, this is a long distance relationship. I love him very ... A: Are you insecure? Yep! Here you are snooping through his phone - looking at things I'm sure he ...
sex	9/15/2009
Q: I do all the loving things like commenting how she looks , smells ,massage her, how i love her body ... A: No, your ages have nothing to do with this, however most women don't reach their sexual peaks until ...
an attractive female-friend	9/14/2009
Q: I have this very attractive female-friend.Not surprisingly ,she has lots of beautiful friends (many ... A: If this "friend" really IS just a friend (and you'd better be sure of that before you do anything) I ...
approaching before sex	9/14/2009
Q: my names dustin and i have a very important queston. iv been dating this girl for year now, and ... A: This is actually an excellent question and I'm glad you've asked it. Far too many guys get into this ...
Can't attract a man	9/13/2009
Q: Okay so when I was with my ex, if I went out with my girl friends I could always pull any guy I ... A: Yep - you have the "stank". It's weird, but people seem to be able to "smell" your single-ness. In ...
New relationship. Girl I like.	9/13/2009
Q: (Sorry for extremely long length) OK. Here's the situation, in which I have a few questions.(I'm 15, ... A: First of all, GREAT JOB on getting digits and an impromptu date! You've actually done very, very ...
New relationship.	9/13/2009
Q: I have been dating a man I meet online for 2 months now. We see each other three times a week and ... A: Oh, come on here. Is that really how fragile you and your relationships are? Are you seriously ...
is he really that into me?	9/12/2009
Q: So i been dating this guy since the beginning of may. We would normally see each other on weekends. ... A: I don't get this. You're the one holding him off from sex and you're surprised that you haven't had ...
sex	9/12/2009
Q: i met this guy and he asked for my number he called me tree days after and we agreed to meet , the i ... A: I tell my students to call the very next morning after having sex for the first time - and often the ...
boyfriend	9/12/2009
Q: i have been dating this guy for 1 year and 9 months now he is totally in love with me but im also ... A: What? You want me to choose for you? Ok, choose guy #1. No wait - choose guy #2. No, wait again, ...
ex calls again	9/12/2009
Q: Sorry this is so long but it requires every detail....Well, in January of this year, i met this guy ... A: Why, oh why did you make me read that whole tedious thing?? I didn't need all that and about 5 ...
cosplay	9/11/2009
Q: I really like this guy...he is really handsome, sweet, kind, polite, smart, funny, and cute...he is ... A: Didn't you ask me this question before? What you are hoping for a different answer? Just as before, ...
Told her how I feel, things are a little awkward, what do I do	9/10/2009
Q: Sorry for the length, but I want, more than anything, not to screw this up more than it is; or in ... A: Do NOT send her an email to clarify anything!!! Let's start by analyzing this situation a little ...
boyfriend with ex's pics	9/10/2009
Q: I'm dating a guy who has an "archive" of all his recent ex's pics. They broke up a year ago, and he ... A: Yes, you're being unreasonable. You didn't explain what you mean by "intimate" and must assume I ...
she said i will think	9/10/2009
Q: . what that mean????? A: They mean: "since you asked and gave me the choice rather than being direct and making things happen ...
love	9/10/2009
Q: is it possible for a guy to still love you if he has hurt you but throught the relationship he has ... A: Yes. Best regards... Dr. Dennis W. Neder President ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~. ...
commitment	9/9/2009
Q: I've been dating my boyfriend for over 7 months now. It's been the most wonderful relationship for ... A: I can't tell you why he changed his mind - because I don't read them. He's the only one that knows ...
dating her friend	9/8/2009
Q: First off I would like to thank you for the your helps and advices so far, they have been really ... A: Don't ask her for her friend's number. She'll take offense at it. Instead, turn this girl into a ...
Miserable and Scared	9/8/2009
Q: Neder, I have been with this guy for about 10+ years, I took him on as my best friend when I fell ... A: Yes, he probably should have done a lot of things and not done others, but then, he didn't write to ...
Miserable and Scared	9/8/2009
Q: Neder, I have been with this guy for about 10+ years, I took him on as my best friend when I fell ... A: Why would a person be so heartless? That's funny, because I was thinking the same thing about you as ...
dating,especially first dates	9/8/2009
Q: , I am a Teenager who was wondering on an issue that i can't seen to get an answer to.Is it better ... A: Absolutely, positively NOT! DO NOT wait for a girl to ask you out! If you do that, you're going to ...
Conversation	9/7/2009
Q: Hey, I am 17 years old and I don't know how to talk to girls. There have been a few girls that I ... A: Hey Greg! Way to re-glance! Best regards... Dr. Dennis W. Neder President ...
Conversation	9/7/2009
Q: Hey, I am 17 years old and I don't know how to talk to girls. There have been a few girls that I ... A: You glanced at the articles, but didn't bother to actually read them. Now, don't write back to me ...
Conversation	9/7/2009
Q: Hey, I am 17 years old and I don't know how to talk to girls. There have been a few girls that I ... A: This is actually a great question! Even better, the answer is very simple. The mistake you're ...
Not over him	9/6/2009
Q: My first boyfriend (Adam) broke up with me about three months ago. We had been dating for six months ... A: Sorry, I missed that point about him breaking up with you. Since he broke up with you because he ...
Is 1.5 years too long to wait for a proposal?	9/4/2009
Q: Neder, My boyfriend and I have been together 14 months. I am 37 (biologist) and he is 35 ... A: You sure seem to have your timeline down! The problem is that it's only yours and nobody elses. ...
engagement subject	9/4/2009
Q: I'm an international student here in United States and I'm about to finish my Master study. My ... A: Yes, I fully understand that this is a cultural thing and I understand the pressure it puts you ...
Break Up	9/4/2009
Q: Dr. Dennis, I've been dating this girl for 9 months straight. We were also dating last summer, but ... A: Hey Luke! Wow dude, I've totally changed my opinion of you. Most guys today actually believe that ...
getting her email or number	9/4/2009
Q: hey Dr. how`re you?my routine way for getting gals`info goes like this:Given that girls are less ... A: So what if they say "yes, I check my email everyday?" Then, your plan won't work very well. As long ...
engagement subject	9/3/2009
Q: I'm an international student here in United States and I'm about to finish my Master study. My ... A: You're "looking forward" to hearing my answer? Let's see if you feel that way when you get it! ;) ...
boyfriend issues	9/2/2009
Q: There is a guy I've been dating since feb.21,2009. I've known him since 4th grade and now we are ... A: Welcome to the long-distance relationship! (LDR). Jayda, you're experiencing what so, so, so many ...
Break Up	9/2/2009
Q: Dr. Dennis, I've been dating this girl for 9 months straight. We were also dating last summer, but ... A: Reading this story made me want to retch! How pathetic this all is - and I'm not talking about the ...
whose right? me or him?	9/2/2009
Q: so me and my boyfriend are 17 yrs old and have been dating for 4 years but he is really jealous and ... A: First of all, you should go. Second of all, you're both right AND wrong. The biggest wrong (by the ...
Accused of stealing money from boyfriend	9/1/2009
Q: I am having some problems with my boyfriend's family. It started out with an issue surrounding his ... A: First of all, this $800 should be pretty damn easy to track down. All he needs to do is to go ...
past trauma	9/1/2009
Q: In a past relationship I was abused very horribly by someone (I left the relationship after this ... A: You didn't mention the type of abuse you suffered and that has some small bearing on things. ...
Money and relationship	8/31/2009
Q: In my past relationship my ex spoiled me with gifts, expensive dinners and romantic getaways. The ... A: Here's the reality: in any healthy relationship there's a balance. Even when your boyfriend spends ...
Should I call her?	8/31/2009
Q: hey ,I had a first day with this gal,it went very well.However,when I called her today to set up the ... A: No, don't do that. If she's not answering your calls; or finally returning your voice mail, it's ...
He Blamed Me!	8/30/2009
Q: So let me summarize this situation as best as I can. I started my new job a month ago and this one ... A: You sure give me a lot of credit thinking that I can read minds. I can't. Every single person is a ...
relationship question	8/30/2009
Q: hey thanks for taking the question, i have been dating my gf for about a year and a half. we love ... A: You tend to disagree? No surprise there! Here's what I mean: you tell her that it's ok with you if ...
He Blamed Me!	8/30/2009
Q: So let me summarize this situation as best as I can. I started my new job a month ago and this one ... A: Really? That's your question? Why he would do that? Well, ok then. Frankly, I would have asked ...
After the first date	8/29/2009
Q: I went on a date with this girl and after a couple days I sent her a text message "Stop talking to ... A: When, oh when are you people going to learn that texting is a RELATIONSHIP KILLER?????? Therein ...
hidden romance at work	8/28/2009
Q: .he likes me back too...but our head boss would flip out and fire us both if she found out. (she is ... A: Keep it hidden. Your romance is none of the boss' business - as long as you don't make it any. Best ...
how do i get him	8/26/2009
Q: I really like this guy...but he has a steady girlfriend that he has been dating for a year. The girl ... A: There you go - putting your own expectations on someone else! First, I'm proud of you for getting ...
What do I do?	8/24/2009
Q: Ok, so I don’t even know where to start. I have no idea what to do and am at loss. I have been ... A: You don't tell her. Melita, I don't know where to begin with you on all of this. The fact is, ...
Flirtatous Boyfriend	8/23/2009
Q: First off, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. He was married, but cheated on ... A: Keep in mind that your account of these incidences are likely tainted due to your expectation that ...
Stacey	8/22/2009
Q: Neder, My name is Dave. I’m 23. I just graduated from college and landed a job as a stock broker. I ... A: First of all, congratulations on your graduation and new job! Oh Facebook - how you've RUINED ...
dating a widower	8/21/2009
Q: he and i are from the same childhood neighborhood he three years my senior. him and his wife are ... A: It's never a good idea to try to pit your needs against the ghost of someone else. You're going to ...
Should I call her?	8/21/2009
Q: hey ,I had a first day with this gal,it went very well.However,when I called her today to set up the ... A: No, it's your job to set up the next date. I generally recommend that you set it up at the end of ...
should i pass on him	8/20/2009
Q: i like this guy at work and he has made it obvious that he in interested in me. he always flirts ... A: Why are you so worried about everyone else? If they wanted to hook up with this guy they'd either be ...
should i pass on him	8/20/2009
Q: i like this guy at work and he has made it obvious that he in interested in me. he always flirts ... A: Yes, of course you should pursue this. Not only do you owe nothing to his current girlfriend, it's ...
dating	8/19/2009
Q: I'm extremely attracted to a male coworker and he seems to like me back a lot. He seems very ... A: If he's not treating you how you want or expect to be treated - and you're not even dating him yet - ...
Follow Up to dating in the workplace	8/17/2009
Q: I have a follow up, and I know you get a lot of questions, so I included the question below so you ... A: Yo! Tina! No, do NOT try to make this a "friendly gesture". All that will do is confuse him and ...
Is he impressed by me?	8/17/2009
Q: I recently started working at a new company, and the general manager interviewed me for the office ... A: I don't know if he's impressed by you, but I know this - you sure are! I'm afraid I don't read ...
Follow Up to dating in the workplace	8/16/2009
Q: I have a follow up, and I know you get a lot of questions, so I included the question below so you ... A: Hey Tina! Him jumping up to look at your answer doesn't tell you very much. I'd be careful about ...
Follow Up to dating in the workplace	8/16/2009
Q: I have a follow up, and I know you get a lot of questions, so I included the question below so you ... A: It makes it much easier to answer this follow-up knowing what I've already answered. No, I don't ...
Deeply Hurt	8/11/2009
Q: I have been in a relationship with a 47-year-old divorcee for 3 years now. The first 6 months was ... A: Well, he was completely within his right to explode on you for considering a Mac instead of a PC. ...
dating in the workplace	8/11/2009
Q: So I just started a new job as a host at an upscale restaurant, I am not planning on staying in this ... A: Here's what I absolutely know: YOU think he's attracted to you, and you are certainly attracted to ...
the right time to use endearments	8/10/2009
Q: hey ,I had a first date with this gal(which went very well),but during our first date I was feeling ... A: What I'm concerned about is the weight you're giving these little endearments. To believe they are ...
Break up and forgiveness	8/9/2009
Q: This is a break-up question. I tried not to make it too heavy. Here goes... Just after my most ... A: These are powerful emotions that you're carrying around. It's very difficult to push emotions like ...
Lady in the British Council Library	8/8/2009
Q: Neder, I was in a British Council Library some months ago.After reading for about 30mins I glanced ... A: What a waste! That broad smile was her way of saying, "Hey jackass! Come over here and talk to me ...
advice	8/7/2009
Q: Dennis, I have a lot of questions. Bear with me, I decided I didn't want to send you 12 different ... A: 1. It's different for each and every person. Some researchers put it at 18 for men and 35 for women, ...
advice	8/6/2009
Q: People keep asking me for relationship advice. I don't know why. Anyway, so now one of my friends ... A: I've used to do these "pass through's" but don't any more. I have found that not only does good ...
Breaking up and getting back together	8/5/2009
Q: So I had been dating my ex-boyfriend for three years and he broke up with me about 6 weeks ago. He ... A: Here's what's going to happen: you're going to continue on acting just like you're back in the ...
complaint	8/4/2009
Q: I'm a PHD student and I was verbally harassed by another student, who was screaming obscenities at ... A: Why am I getting this exact-same question every few days now? Have we become a nation of weak, ...
success story ,the first date	8/4/2009
Q: I`ve met this gal in the university ,got her number and I am going to call her to ask her on a date ... A: Congratulations on setting up the first date - I'm very proud of you! Talk about her favorite ...
how to deal	8/2/2009
Q: I'm a late bloomer, as a young girl in my teens and twenties I was ok looking, not ugly, but ... A: First of all, you're absolutely right about small changes having a huge effect. I'm very proud of ...
asking her on a date	8/1/2009
Q: I`ve met this gal in the university ,got her number and I am going to call her to ask her on a date ... A: This all seems rather convoluted and a little much to me. I prefer a more direct approach (after ...
new environment	7/30/2009
Q: I started a new job today. I had one boss and a senior associate working with me for the first day. ... A: No, I didn't say I would have told her off. What I was was that I wouldn't have hesitated to say ...
new environment	7/30/2009
Q: I started a new job today. I had one boss and a senior associate working with me for the first day. ... A: She may be of "higher authority" but she's not your boss. Further, if your boss just sits there and ...
stuff in common	7/29/2009
Q: I was wondering if you have to have stuff in common with the person you're dating. I was told that ... A: Yes, I understand the confusion. That's because the answer is sometimes "yes" and sometimes "no". ...
Should I walk away?	7/28/2009
Q: I've been dating a guy for well over 7 years. He is 12 years older than me, has been divorced twice, ... A: So - what's your question? Help with what - making a decision as to what to do next? Anna, you and ...
Breaking The Ice	7/28/2009
Q: Ok i've been wondering how do I break the ice for kissing a girl and is there anything i can do to ... A: There are actually two separate questions here. The first is how to "convert". That is, how to go ...
I can't figure him out.	7/27/2009
Q: So i basically been dating this guy since MAY. We never made it official but was just dating. We ... A: Two months is too fast? Worse yet, you want to trade sex for a relationship? Yes, I'm sure you ...
Relationships	7/26/2009
Q: I went to a concert with my boyfriend and he wanted to leave a little early right before the last ... A: The time to say these things is when you're feeling them. Why are you carrying resentment with you ...
How do i let her now, without hurting her and keeping a small friendship?? (Please help)	7/24/2009
Q: Jai Sita Ram Hello Dr.Dennis i need your help and fast please (First of all is my first time on a ... A: While I appreciate your attempts to not hurt this girl, I think you're somewhat misguided here. ...
should I email her?	7/24/2009
Q: sorry it`s a bit long. Me and this gal hit it off.last month I emailed her asking her on a date.She ... A: No, it doesn't mean she's not interested. It means that she's "bookmarked" the date for when it gets ...
long-distance?	7/24/2009
Q: There is this guy, David that I have been dating for a few months. We are not official although ... A: Here's the reality: long-distance relationships never work out. That's the way it is, for so many ...
Just started dating	7/22/2009
Q: I've just started dating someone for the last four weeks. We get on really well with each other and ... A: I have no idea what not being in any kind of relationship has to do with speaking intimately. They ...
appraoaching	7/20/2009
Q: I don`t have any problem apparoaching a gal in a group and going for her email,but when her mother ... A: You don't approach the girl directly, you approach the parents instead and talk to them. When they ...
Just a quick dating questing	7/16/2009
Q: I've read your answers and so far you give great advice. Here's my little question so please be ... A: You absolutely don't want to be forward with your intentions. It's only your second date! That's ...
Good or bad?	7/15/2009
Q: I apologize if this is kind of long. I'm 20 years old and for about two months now I've been seeing ... A: Yes, he could simply have a different way of showing affection. In fact, everyone has a different ...
urgent need help	7/15/2009
Q: Ples help me i love a girl to much and she also love me to much we are very far from each other she ... A: This is just one loooooooonnnnnnngggggg run-on sentence! I can't tell where one thought ends and ...
dont know whats going on...please help!!	7/14/2009
Q: I have been living with my boyfriend for about 5 months now when we first got together everything ... A: He can say that nothing's wrong all day and all night. If you're not getting what you want in the ...
girlfriend issues	7/14/2009
Q: Dr. Neder! Thanks for your response. I have one more question about my issues with my girlfriend, ... A: I understand that you don't want to hurt her, but frankly, more damage is done to people because ...
What if her friend hadn't appeared?	7/14/2009
Q: Neder, I spent my last vacation in London. One night I was in a club and overheard the following ... A: How can I possibly answer a question like this? I wasn't there. I don't know these people. I don't ...
girlfriend issues	7/12/2009
Q: Dennis Neder. I’ve been dating for quite some time and several months ago I signed up to an ... A: Sorry, but I'm going to have to begin with some science in order to deal with your question. Stay ...
negative attitude?	7/12/2009
Q: I dated a man for years and he was very moody and miserable. He never mistreated me per se, for the ... A: First of all, yes, this guy was toxic - very toxic. What a waste of energy! Second, why in the hell ...
Sex	7/12/2009
Q: Me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost two years now and we've been having sex almost ... A: You first need to find out why she's lacking interest in having sex with you. There are only two ...
revenge? or being smart?	7/11/2009
Q: Hey Not a relationship issue in a romantic sense, but a relationship issue none the less. I had a ... A: Huh? You can't speak of them here? Where else can you speak of them if not here??? This leads me to ...
Tongue tied in a taxi!	7/10/2009
Q: A week ago I go into a cab headed for a major shopping district. As soon as I got in there was a ... A: It's too bad that you had such a great opener - and nowhere to take it. That was a waste of energy ...
What the heck?	7/9/2009
Q: I am a single female, mid-40s been divorced 7 years. I have dated a couple of men over the years ... A: Hey Annie! ATTENTION MALE READERS: YOU TOO CAN THIS WONDERFUL WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE! You sure can ...
What the heck?	7/9/2009
Q: I am a single female, mid-40s been divorced 7 years. I have dated a couple of men over the years ... A: Well, there's one thing we're sure of. That was the best sex that guy has ever had! Yeah, I get to ...
What the heck?	7/9/2009
Q: I am a single female, mid-40s been divorced 7 years. I have dated a couple of men over the years ... A: I think you're asking me the wrong question. You want to put this all on the men you are meeting; ...
being attacked?	7/8/2009
Q: I need some advice. This keeps happening to me. 99% of the people I meet are totally nice to me. ... A: This is a hypothetical. I don't do hypotheticals. When you actually have the problem, come back and ...
Good or bad?	7/8/2009
Q: I apologize if this is kind of long. I'm 20 years old and for about two months now I've been seeing ... A: Every relationship has it's own speed. This seems to be moving fast - to you. In fact, it's not ...
women in general	7/7/2009
Q: I'm 22 and I've never had a girl friend. I've had sex but only a single one nighter. I'm tired ... A: Hey Mike! Dude, you must be an effing genius! You're going to get more from that little book than ...
my girlfriend going dump me	7/6/2009
Q: i am in very bad condition.i love a girl to much and she also love me to much.my family also accept ... A: Here's a key to understanding relationships: whoever wants it LEAST is in charge. If your girlfriend ...
sexual being	7/6/2009
Q: I am a female and a virgin. Haven't had much experience with men. I watch porn occasionally and ... A: Yes, squeezing your legs together, moving your hips, rubbing against a pillow, using your fingers, ...
women in general	7/5/2009
Q: I'm 22 and I've never had a girl friend. I've had sex but only a single one nighter. I'm tired ... A: "Trying" to sell you something? No. I'm "trying" to help you. How did you know you weren't wasting ...
women in general	7/5/2009
Q: I'm 22 and I've never had a girl friend. I've had sex but only a single one nighter. I'm tired ... A: Welcome to the dating world! "Just be yourself"? How's that working out for you? Not very well I ...
Should my friend move in with his girlfriend to help get himself out of debt?	7/4/2009
Q: My friend has a large amount of debt. He owns his own house which he lives in. His plan is to sell ... A: Thoughts? Tons. What's your question? Best regards... Dr. Dennis W. Neder President ...
Should I be worried about my boyfriend's lifestyle?	7/4/2009
Q: I've been seeing a guy for the last few months who has a lot of things going for him - he's very ... A: Romantic relationships don't exist on balance sheets. Business ones do. Let's say that you met some ...
Where are they?	7/3/2009
Q: I am asking the infamous question most women my age ask. Where are the men? I live in a small town ... A: I know that sometimes it feels like dying of thirst in a dry desert, but in fact, there are men out ...
shocked and confused	7/3/2009
Q: I really really like this guy at my school. The attraction seems mutual. Whenever he sees me, he ... A: Haven't you asked me about this before - about 20 times? Is this really the kind of guy you want to ...
Uncertain	7/2/2009
Q: I met a man a week ago today. He is really sweet and kind, late 40s and a product of a marriage ... A: I feel trepidation too; so no, I don't think your concern is "needless". There's a bunch of red ...
getting back an ex	6/30/2009
Q: Well I was in a long distance relationship over Yahoo and it ended 5 weeks ago. Basically I screwed ... A: Being in a long-distance relationship means that you were in no relationship at all. The ...
To take the risk, or run	6/30/2009
Q: I am 27 and have been a very independent woman my whole life. I have a great job, education, my ... A: Oh my god - another victim of the "independent woman syndrome", ("IWS") eh? Hmmm...do you think ...
Worried	6/29/2009
Q: Neder, I have a dilemma. I am currently dating someone who is an ex-addict. He had been addicted ... A: Wow, you really have some great people in your life! This "friend" emails you and stirs the pot as ...
REBOUND	6/29/2009
Q: I met a man who was really only looking for friendship because he told me he was in"transition" he ... A: Everyone has the capacity to love someone else. As to whether he will do this, I can't possibly say. ...
Does he still love me?	6/29/2009
Q: We dated for about 3 years. This is how the break-up went: He got weird for about a week, I knew it ... A: I'm afraid I can't tell you if he still loves you - or ever loved you. What I can tell you is that ...
REBOUND	6/28/2009
Q: I met a man who was really only looking for friendship because he told me he was in"transition" he ... A: Your dad is right: actions, NOT words! This is a mistake so many people make. However, one key ...
How to get her	6/27/2009
Q: So here's the thing, there's this girl that I've known ever since I was about 14. I never really ... A: First of all, there's ALWAYS "this other guy". Every girl you're going to meet is going to tell you ...
" He cant commit" What is wrong?	6/26/2009
Q: I've been seeing/ dating this guy (we'll call him J) for a year and a half on and off. I left my job ... A: After a year and a half you're wondering if you should still wait? Come on here Brittney, do I ...
clashes	6/26/2009
Q: What do you do when people pick stupid clashes with you like this? ... A: Why would you want to work with the unbathed? Is this a farm you work on? Unfortunately, you DO ...
is she self serving	6/26/2009
Q: I have been dating a woman for just over a year and a half when ever she comes to my place i offer ... A: Poor memory is when she doesn't remember HER birthday. Forgetting yours - the person she's supposed ...
Being too nice	6/26/2009
Q: I have read about how being too nice is not good for a man in the relationship because it makes him ... A: I totally hear you. In fact, we practice being nice our entire lives. It starts with our mom's ...
is she self serving	6/26/2009
Q: I have been dating a woman for just over a year and a half when ever she comes to my place i offer ... A: What the hell Mike??? YES, YES, YES this woman is self-serving! In fact, she's one selfish, ...
couple of q's	6/25/2009
Q: 1. is it a deal breaker if i just met a girl who i am attracted to and interested in, but DO NOT ... A: 1. Since I don't know this girl, I can't say what's a deal breaker for her. If all you want is sex, ...
My ex girlfriend contacted me, what should I do?	6/25/2009
Q: My girlfriend of 6 months dumped me just before Christmas. She said she needed space and wasn't ... A: Yeah - she needed space - to start seeing the other guy! What a gem she is! I'm very proud of you ...
confused	6/25/2009
Q: I'm a straight woman, I'm 30 years old. I'm crazy about men. I notice that when I see insanely hot, ... A: Yes, human sexuality IS complicated! You must REALLY love going to the beach! ;) First, don't ...
clashes	6/25/2009
Q: What do you do when people pick stupid clashes with you like this? ... A: I change the channel. Let me ask you something: why are you asking? Are you looking for a lesson in ...
Too old to change?	6/24/2009
Q: Dr. Neder, I am 35 years old and I've always been shy with girls, although despite that, somehow ... A: You've got what I call "the stank". This is when you have a situation where you are actively looking ...
teenagers and emotions	6/24/2009
Q: Am 20 and am being shown some concern by a girl of 17 since i started visiting their home. My ... A: She's trying to tell you she's interested in you. Do you feel the same way? If so, what are you ...
I did it again!!!!	6/23/2009
Q: I have been dating an amazing girl for almost ten months. I screwed up a couple of times but we ... A: So what - are you going to lie to her yet AGAIN? That's what'll be if you tell her it'll never ...
1st Black girl	6/23/2009
Q: We have been close since we met and its only been like a month. We are both in relationships, but ... A: Wow! You really give me a lot of credit, thinking that I can read this guy's mind! ;) Answer: yes, ...
My Sweet	6/23/2009
Q: Good evening, I am a 43 year old female and my boyfriend is 22 years old, he was the pursuant in our ... A: You're 43 years old and you're snooping in a 22 year old's private things? Come on here! Baby, you ...
virgins	6/21/2009
Q: Dennis, If you met an amazing girl, one woman who had exactly all the qualities you'd look for, she ... A: Your questions are overly broad and prevent me from giving you a specific answer. What if I met ...
trying to reconcile	6/21/2009
Q: my girlfriend and I broke up about 5 weeks ago. Im 22 and we have been dating 3 years on and off for ... A: It's designed to change her attitude to see you standing up for yourself - which you then have to ...
trying to reconcile	6/20/2009
Q: my girlfriend and I broke up about 5 weeks ago. Im 22 and we have been dating 3 years on and off for ... A: Yes, it's kinda weird! What's going on isn't about her "taking it slow". That's absolutely ...
guy with girlfriend	6/19/2009
Q: so i like this guy, he really likes me back, but he has had a long distance girlfriend for about 4 ... A: If you're convinced holding him off is a good plan, then forget reading anything else I'm about to ...
She Said: Con me!	6/17/2009
Q: Neder, I attended an alumni party at a new hotel recently. I met a lady there who was asking me ... A: I'm not sure what she meant by "con me". Do you know? Is she asking you to lie to her? Deceive her? ...
How to get Her Back	6/17/2009
Q: my name is Daniel.. I recently been dating this girl i met online for a couple of months now. ... A: Where did you go wrong? Daniel! The question is where did you go right?? Everything about this ...
Should I wait?	6/17/2009
Q: Should I wait? Question Not sure where to start, but this is something that has been bothering me ... A: Yes, this is a very odd situation, and with all this time that has passed, is starting to get ...
Broken and in need of mending	6/17/2009
Q: I have been in a handful of serious relationships and every time I have been cheated on. Through ... A: Let's start with the trust issue. The problem isn't that you can't trust someone else, it's that ...
Dating a shy perfectionist	6/16/2009
Q: I am 28 years old and have been seeing this 24 year old girl for a few weeks now. She is a ... A: First of all, this overly-critical attitude about herself is obviously affecting her quality of ...
Where from here	6/16/2009
Q: Neder, I am a woman in my early 40s. I have been in several relationships over the years, however, ... A: You talk about all these men in your life and the wrong decisions you've made about them. You say ...
just a gf	6/16/2009
Q: in order to make it clear to this gal,my classmate, from the very beginnig that I am considering her ... A: I don't remember who "this gal" is. If you don't copy the previous emails, I can't possibly remember ...
Reaching Out	6/15/2009
Q: Neder, Hello and I hope that all is well with you. Here is the letter I just sent to a friend, but I ... A: I'm assuming you sent that letter to the woman you're interested in. That wasn't stated clearly in ...
Hello	6/14/2009
Q: I need to ask a question. Ok, here we go. Ive liked this girl for a while now but was always too shy ... A: Just as I said before: "context". What context do you have with her? Well, the fact that you're both ...
how to turn a female-friend into a gf?	6/14/2009
Q: so far I have been considering this lass as a female-friend ,now I want to date her.any advice on ... A: I suggest you go to my website (http://BeingAMan.com), click on self-help and then read my FAQ's ...
Hello	6/13/2009
Q: I need to ask a question. Ok, here we go. Ive liked this girl for a while now but was always too shy ... A: Absolutely do NOT message her and tell her you're interested in her. If you do that, what's she ...
how to handle this?	6/13/2009
Q: ,sorry it is a bit long,there is a gal,my class mate,I was mistakenly thinking she wasn`t single ... A: "A bit long"? This is the shortest letter I've read today! :) Here's the reality: boyfriends are ...
Delicate way of getting around this?	6/13/2009
Q: wow ok, im at the end of my rope, im just not sure which end! I kno its kinda long but can u plzz ... A: I was totally wrong. You don't have a snotty attitude. I'm sorry for my mistake. Instead, you're ...
This guy I'm interested in	6/12/2009
Q: I was talking to this guy that I met who goes to my college on facebook. He seems to be a pretty ... A: J, you have so many mistakes going on here, I'm torn over which to go after first! Here we go ...
A girl I like don't know what to do?	6/12/2009
Q: I have got this big crush on this girl and I think she likes me but I am really confused as how to ... A: You may be too late here. There's a very narrow window of time to make your moves and if you're ...
dunno what to do	6/11/2009
Q: my name is cecilia fron asia. i am 16yrs old and i have hhad only one relationship ever. i just got ... A: Come on here - you have to be a little smart about what hobbies you choose to do. If you only try ...
dunno what to do	6/11/2009
Q: my name is cecilia fron asia. i am 16yrs old and i have hhad only one relationship ever. i just got ... A: Actually, I don't want you to get "comfortable" with the situation at all. I want you to use it to ...
New Relationship	6/11/2009
Q: Neder, I was with a guy for about two years. It was my longest relationship ever - by far. We were ... A: Memories are funny this way. After breaking up with someone you soon forget the emotions of the ...
Boyfriend bomb	6/11/2009
Q: I always get the boyfriend bomb dropped on me, usually nice and casually, in the middle of a ... A: Here's the real problem - you can't know what she means when she drops the b-bomb. Even more ...
younger guys?	6/10/2009
Q: Do you think being able to handle women is an age/maturity thing? I'm a 28 year old woman (I look ... A: Huh? I sense there's something far more deep and important going on here than just the age of these ...
?	6/10/2009
Q: I work in a group of 5 people. I was new to the job. These other people are all senior (despite ... A: Take it to management - messy or not. If you're in a hostile workplace situation, management has an ...
My best friend	6/10/2009
Q: Okay.... I have been best friends with this girl for almost 2 years... Recently she told me that she ... A: Wow - you are one lucky bastard! Seriously! Do you have any idea how rare this is - in fact, how ...
I do not know what to do anymore...	6/9/2009
Q: To start off. I dated this girl I met in college. We dated for about a month before becoming ... A: Advice? About what? You two aren't exclusive, you've got nothing but double standards going on here ...
insecurity	6/9/2009
Q: I think it deeply comes from my parents' marriage and myself psy problems, I v made some progress ... A: I fully understand your issues here. There's always a balance between your investment in a ...
questions/answers	6/9/2009
Q: i am in a relationship with an old friend, i am confused by her not answering questions...such as ... A: Yes, and there's a good reason why she doesn't answer these questions: it's not her job. It's yours. ...
I'm not sure what we are.	6/8/2009
Q: I'm 20 and I've been seeing this guy who's 22 for about a month now. I really like him and we spend ... A: After only a month (even if you've spent a lot of time together) it's too soon to "define" your ...
how do you approach?	6/6/2009
Q: I am a shy guy so it makes approaching women much much harder. How do you approach women that you ... A: I don't know what you mean by "aggressive" women. If you're afraid they're going to beat you up or ...
man i met on line	6/6/2009
Q: went out with him once,he calls just about every day and acts interested,Its been a week since we've ... A: If he's calling you this often, yes, he's definitely interested. He wouldn't waste his time ...
growing apart	6/5/2009
Q: last month my girlfriend and i broke up. it was fairly mutual and civil as we decided we were ... A: Breaks can help in very specific instances. These sorts of breaks have very specific rules and goals ...
Plz answer	6/4/2009
Q: i have made it concise plz answer soon "Hi There, My name is sunny i am 25, i work in ... A: You need to seek a professional counselor right away. Not tomorrow, not next week, but right now - ...
my boyfriend can't slee next to me?	6/4/2009
Q: my boyfriend can't get to sleep when we are in the same bed.. he says its not me that i don't move ... A: It sounds to me that he's been practicing not sleeping well when you're there. This is a bad habit ...
Obsessing?	6/4/2009
Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months (He’s 20, I’m 18). We have really great physical ... A: First of all, what sort of relationship would it be if you didn't risk getting hurt? Frankly, it'd ...
anxiety about sex	6/2/2009
Q: I have some anxiety about performing in bed. I'd like to please a man sexually but do not quite know ... A: Hey Ana! This isn't naive at all. I don't know where else you can get this information as easily as ...
abuse	6/2/2009
Q: Dennis, A short time ago I was screamed at very violently by someone else, this individual screamed ... A: Well, you can call it anything you like. Trust me, people yell and threaten me all the time. I even ...
Ballroom Dancing Blues	6/2/2009
Q: Dr. Neder, I have been with my boyfriend for five months now, and we have a wonderful relationship. ... A: All you can do is try to keep him from feeling too insecure about things and hope for the best. ...
when things become tricky2	6/2/2009
Q: hey,how`re you doing Dr.?thanks for your advice,your were right ,that gal,who all of a sudden ... A: As I told you in your copied story, the answer to this is HUGE. You need to learn how to deal with ...
abuse	6/2/2009
Q: Dennis, A short time ago I was screamed at very violently by someone else, this individual screamed ... A: If you're this affected by it, there's only one solution: get into counseling right away. You ...
Ballroom Dancing Blues	6/1/2009
Q: Dr. Neder, I have been with my boyfriend for five months now, and we have a wonderful relationship. ... A: Ahh... the on-going saga of long-distance relationships! Interestingly, if he where right there ...
anxiety about sex	6/1/2009
Q: I have some anxiety about performing in bed. I'd like to please a man sexually but do not quite know ... A: As I said before, for women, orgasm is a learned experience. You have to learn how to have an orgasm ...
anxiety about sex	6/1/2009
Q: I have some anxiety about performing in bed. I'd like to please a man sexually but do not quite know ... A: While performance anxiety is often a barrier to success, I'm very proud of you for being concerned ...
when things become tricky2	6/1/2009
Q: hey,how`re you doing Dr.?thanks for your advice,your were right ,that gal,who all of a sudden ... A: I'm afraid that I have no clue what we've discussed before. I get a TON of questions every single ...
How is she better than me?	6/1/2009
Q: I have liked Sara for about a year. We live far apart so rarely see each other. I met Liz about 4 ... A: What in the hell are you doing here Monty??!?!!? You actually exchanged the chance for a REAL ...
Get out of the friend zone	5/31/2009
Q: Ok so I like this girl and she use to like me and might still like me but I am not sure if she does. ... A: Hey Drew! You don't focus on symptoms, you focus on actions. If you're acting like the friend - you ...
Second guessing	5/31/2009
Q: I have been daing a guy for the last year exclusively. For about 10 years we have been in and out ... A: Listen to your brain. This isn't just a problem of "..eating it too", there are other issues ...
Sending card to former girlfriend	5/31/2009
Q: It has been a little over a year and a half now since my former girlfriend called it quits with me. ... A: I'm afraid I can't word-smith your own internal emotions. Only you can do that. The real question ...
I think my man is pushing me away	5/30/2009
Q: , I really appreciate your help with my problem. Im 28 years old and Ive been dating a married man ... A: Depression is a disease. It causes all sorts of odd behavior - just like any other mental illness. ...
New dating relationship	5/29/2009
Q: A little background...I'm an almost 30 single mother of 2. My last serious relationship lasted 3 1/2 ... A: That's your question? Everything seems fine. Good luck. Best regards... Dr. Dennis W. Neder ...
help with a girl	5/29/2009
Q: I've recently turned 18 and everything is starting to turn around for me at last. Yeah, I was with ... A: Help with what??? This girl is doing all YOUR work for you since you obviously don't know what to ...
when things become tricky	5/29/2009
Q: I`ve met this gal recently in the university,1-how many times a week should I call her? 2-How can I ... A: Hey! She has either lost interest (and obviously, I don't know why) or this is a little thing ...
Get out of the friend zone	5/28/2009
Q: Ok so I like this girl and she use to like me and might still like me but I am not sure if she does. ... A: This is why I try not to tell guys that there's ANY chance of getting out of the friend-zone. You ...
calling	5/28/2009
Q: My friend hook up me and this girl at the being of the month and she told me not to call her yet ... A: Hold on a minute here. Why doesn't she want you to call her? One more thing: to go my video website ...
Get out of the friend zone	5/27/2009
Q: Ok so I like this girl and she use to like me and might still like me but I am not sure if she does. ... A: Once you're in it, you're pretty much dead. There's only about a 5% chance of turning things around. ...
Boyfriend	5/27/2009
Q: Ok Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 6 months and we have been having some problems he is mad ... A: So, he's upset and treats you like a jerk. Then, rather than being the supportive girlfriend, you ...
issues	5/27/2009
Q: dennis, 1. what's a good age a woman should absolultey lose her virginity by? and whats the latest ... A: 1. I can't say - it depends on the woman. The best answer I can give you is: as soon as she's ...
Dating Issues	5/27/2009
Q: I'm in my early thirties, as is this wonderful man (John) I have been seeing for three months. We ... A: I don't know you, but I'll bet the problem is the same problem so many women create for themselves: ...
Lies	5/25/2009
Q: it started as white lies at first about small things then on to more serious things. first i must, ... A: Yes, your girlfriend is a liar. So are you. So are your parents and your teachers and your ...
My exs friend	5/25/2009
Q: My ex girlfriend and I went out for a year and a half. We have been broken up for 2 years now. I ... A: Do you let what go? You don't have a relationship with this girl - you have a phone buddy and ...
How can we find a compromise?	5/25/2009
Q: I have an amazing boyfriend. He takes care of all the household chores, and always takes my feelings ... A: Seriously? Did you write to me just because you want a verbal spanking and to be told to grow the ...
blood roses	5/25/2009
Q: Would you say this is a woman who is proud of her sexuality in this video? Or just someone very ... A: Frankly, I have to wonder more about the person asking the question than about the song. I don't ...
Feeling strange	5/25/2009
Q: I have gotten to the point that I no longer need or want a man (I am female, midlife) nor desire to ... A: From your simple description, I can't say whether it's a phase or a lifestyle. I think there are ...
Bisexual Chicks	5/24/2009
Q: I see a lot of women making out with other women in order to get attention from guys. A lot of girls ... A: Having been involved with a good number of threesomes myself, I personally have no issue with it at ...
Controlling Girlfriend Or Not?	5/24/2009
Q: My ex girlfriend and I dated for 4 months. She ended things, and now I am wondering if she was a ... A: "Controlling"? A "nag"? A "bitch"? An "idiot"? Let's not mince words here. Here's one I'd throw in ...
Attracting a at my College	5/24/2009
Q: How to attract my student? (I am a young peer tutor at the college)? I am a full-time student at a ... A: Yeah, right. Some of you people sure think I'm an idiot! Do you really think that's a way to get me ...
He doesn't want me to meet his family	5/23/2009
Q: I have been with my boyfriend since October 2008. We have had a few problems lately....we have been ... A: You bring it up by being direct, clear and specific about what you want and what you expect. I ...
Attracting a at my College	5/23/2009
Q: How to attract my student? (I am a young peer tutor at the college)? I am a full-time student at a ... A: "Can anyone give me some tips..."??? Yep, you're a genius alright! Since you're asking this of ...
can you give any advice?	5/23/2009
Q: I am 20 years old and I am in desperate need of advice. I have recently fallen for my best friend. ... A: Oh, I get it. You want special rules just for yourself! You don't want to risk getting hurt, but you ...
Meeting the kids	5/23/2009
Q: I've been seeing a man (46yrs old) for 6&1/2 months now and honestly think I may love him. I have ... A: No, this isn't confusing at all. Yes, you should just go and not be concerned with the backlash. ...
What could be my ex intitions	5/22/2009
Q: I broke up with my ex two months ago but is still in love with him. After alot of thinking. I told ... A: Men WILL communicate with you, but you need to learn how to ask intelligently. Most women just say, ...
What could be my ex intitions	5/22/2009
Q: I broke up with my ex two months ago but is still in love with him. After alot of thinking. I told ... A: I don't read minds and I don't speculate. You know him far better than I do. Why don't you ask him ...
Confusion about outcome	5/22/2009
Q: I've dated my ex for 17 months. We split 5 months ago and she has been seeing someone else since, ... A: This is what you call, "keeping your eyes open"??? Ok, whatever! So, in my "expertise" here's my ...
single parents dating	5/21/2009
Q: I have been dating a guy for eight months who raised his two daughter by himself for 10 years. He ... A: Exactly who is the parent here? Your guy or his girls? This guy is trying to be their friend, not ...
Need help	5/21/2009
Q: Im 27 and I've been married for about a year now. Ive known my wife for about 3 yrs. In the ... A: You want brutal honesty? Ok - you asked for it! She's no longer crying her eyes out because she ...
is she playing me?	5/20/2009
Q: so i met a girl recently at a bar (which she works at)anyway every time i go there she always buys ... A: Man! Do you have a lot of misconceptions about women! Yes, this information makes some MINOR ...
Breaking up / Mind games?	5/20/2009
Q: first of all, thank you :) I will try to make this as short as possible, I met a man who is 14 years ... A: I hope every single person on this board that is considering a long-distance relationship (LDR) ...
is she playing me?	5/20/2009
Q: so i met a girl recently at a bar (which she works at)anyway every time i go there she always buys ... A: Classic mistake. Dema, it's very unlikely that this girl is really interested in you. She works ...
What should my next move be?	5/19/2009
Q: There is a shy guy at work whom I think like me. He has made it point to tell me he is looking for a ... A: Age differences are absolutely non-issues. Don't make them one. Trust me, you'll be able to find all ...
Communication problems	5/19/2009
Q: My boyfriend and I are a fantastic match in many many ways. Sadly though, he's not very good at ... A: First of all, forget that stereotype about people getting "set in their ways" as they get older. If ...
Communication problems	5/18/2009
Q: My boyfriend and I are a fantastic match in many many ways. Sadly though, he's not very good at ... A: This difference in communication levels is absolutely common. In fact, it's the reason why you were ...
Have we lost the spark?	5/16/2009
Q: Dr. Dennis, My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years now. We're both 20 years old and in ... A: So, what you're looking for is that same excitement you had when you first got together two years ...
I want him to chase me...	5/15/2009
Q: Me and my bf have been together for over 2 years, its a long-distance relationship. We both are 18 ... A: Yet ANOTHER long-distance relationship failure. Interestingly, the ALWAYS end badly too. This is ...
past relationship present regret	5/15/2009
Q: i am currently married but it is not a happpy marriage. anyway i recently found out that the person ... A: Hmmm....let me look through the ether and read both of your minds here. Ok, wait a ...
help please	5/14/2009
Q: I have four questions but first I will give you a little background information. So I met this girl ... A: Texting + Hanging out = relationship killer Andy, memorize the above formula. You're killing off ...
overcompensation	5/14/2009
Q: I have noticed the handsome, sexy stud, muscular body builder type jock guys walk around tossing ... A: Oh! A sociology question! Ok... First of all, understand that these guys aren't Alphas at all - ...
I don't want to make the same mistake again!	5/13/2009
Q: I am 23 yrs old from Virginia (going to school and working as a secretary) and recently went to ... A: Ok, I take back what I said. You're not an idiot. From this question, I suspect that you may be ...
Lady on the bus.	5/13/2009
Q: Neder, A few weeks ago I boarded a bus and one minute later a voluptuous lady (who was about 6ft ... A: Yes - my own books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II". I talk in both books about these ...
What to do next??	5/13/2009
Q: My ex boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me 2 days ago. At times, we had a great relationship. We ... A: I'm sorry he gave you false hope, but the reality is this: it's over and he's just hoping to keep ...
how to deal with my boy frnd who still meets his ex?	5/13/2009
Q: I know him from the past 7 months but I have been dating him since the past 1month n we both have ... A: You don't want to appear jealous and insecure. I understand that, but this isn't about jealousy or ...
Discussing Marriage With a Widower	5/13/2009
Q: I've been dating a wonderful man, and we've been discussing marriage. He was widowed at a young age ... A: Come on now. Is this really what your relationship is based on? Yes, I understand that while it's a ...
Lady on the bus.	5/12/2009
Q: Neder, A few weeks ago I boarded a bus and one minute later a voluptuous lady (who was about 6ft ... A: First of all, EXCELLENT context approach! I'm very proud of you Gary! You found something in context ...
men and sex	5/12/2009
Q: What do men in general want in bed? Obviously not a frigid stick, which would cause a guy to leave, ... A: "Yes! Yes!" (you forgot "More! More!" - ;) ) 1) In my practice, I generally see different problems ...
Case of the EX	5/12/2009
Q: I've been dating my boyfriends for almost 9months,6month into the relationship we slept ... A: Sorry, I'm not Todd. I think this was meant for someone else. I'll let them answer it for you. Best ...
boyfriend bad mood	5/12/2009
Q: Hi today in school my boyfriend was in a mad mood I didn't even see him during the day but after ... A: You don't understand him? Well, welcome to the club! I don't understand YOU either! What type of ...
My relationship	5/11/2009
Q: My main basic question is to find out how I can go about having my boyfriend Fall in love completely ... A: I'm glad that you understand that marriage IS scary to most men. Here's the reality: men get screwed ...
men and sex	5/11/2009
Q: What do men in general want in bed? Obviously not a frigid stick, which would cause a guy to leave, ... A: Ok, you show me an "average joe" and I'll show you what HE wants in bed. That's the problem with ...
I must not be that Cool!!	5/10/2009
Q: I am 23 yrs old from Virginia (going to school and working as a secretary) and recently went to ... A: Think what I think - that you're an idiot for playing games with this guy. Go ahead and feel free to ...
haters	5/10/2009
Q: -First issue - Why do fat ugly girls hate on and make nasty comments about the skinny attractive ... A: 1) No. Guys are comfortable (in general) competing with each other, thus it's not as big a deal. ...
Single mom ready to date and I do not know where to begin.	5/10/2009
Q: I am a twenty two year old single mom and I have never been in a real relationship. I had gotten to ... A: Frankly, this is a HUGE question! There are many individual questions here, each with their own ...
Taking over the situation	5/9/2009
Q: Ok so here is the situation me and my ex broke up in July and we pretty much stopped talking for a ... A: Someone once said that the definition of "crazy" is doing something over and over again the same way ...
haters	5/9/2009
Q: -First issue - Why do fat ugly girls hate on and make nasty comments about the skinny attractive ... A: Self image, self esteem, competition, cattiness, being unwilling to do what they have to do to ...
life...oh life	5/7/2009
Q: Two questions. 1. The girls that give sex up front are getting all the guys...but they don't keep ... A: 1) Where did you get the idea that they don't keep them that long? In my experience and according to ...
questions	5/7/2009
Q: Dennis, a couple questions. I'm sorry if these are exhausting. 1. How come in the old days, women ... A: Well now! Aren't we full of questions this morning? You've asked me a LOT of really complicated ...
not a dating question	5/7/2009
Q: IF you look at animals such as shrimp, lobsters, crayfish, crabs, scorpions, cockroaches, etc they ... A: Humans have formed natural revulsion-responses to many animals that are dangerous or unhealthful. ...
Am I just a booty call?	5/7/2009
Q: Neder, So, I am 20 years old and this guy I am dating is also twenty. We've been "dating," if you ... A: Wow - you really let your insecurities take control here, didn't you? No, he's not playing games ...
Losing virginity at an older age	5/7/2009
Q: Neder, I am dealing with a difficult situation, and I hope you could offer some words of wisdom. ... A: What are you - this guy's therapist or his girlfriend? It's not your job to worry about this. You're ...
Getting an ex-girlfriend back	5/6/2009
Q: I had been going out with a girl for almost 4 years. It started off perfectly, almost like a fairy ... A: Sure, she doesn't "know if she can get over the past". Actually, she's say she doesn't WANT TO get ...
where is this going?	5/6/2009
Q: I've been on and off with a guy for about 3 years, we've never been boyfriend and girlfriend, more ... A: Yes, absolutely you should ask him about it. After all this time, you and he have established a ...
3 years	5/6/2009
Q: My boyfriend (33) and I (26) have been together for about 3 years. He is a very faithful guy never ... A: You know that instant where you know the person you're about to answer is going to really hate the ...
Quick question	5/6/2009
Q: So a girl and I agreed to meet up for a date, and I set the date, time, place, and everything up ... A: Based on only this information, no. Further, it wasn't a test. Best regards... Dr. Dennis W. Neder ...
The normal Boyfriend/girlfriend stuff??	5/5/2009
Q: ! Your advice was so great last time I came to you for advice again. My problems are simple I’m ... A: I'm not entirely clear on what you're asking me here. What I believe you're asking is why do guys ...
Dating	5/5/2009
Q: What is the next step after dating exclusively & how long should you get to know a person before ... A: Wait a minute. If you're dating exclusively then you're already "committed" to them, aren't you? I ...
Lost window for sex	5/5/2009
Q: Just read your comment here for lost window for sex with the man. Seems like this is what happened ... A: I'm sorry to hear about this. It's all the more tragic to know how common it is. I get at least one ...
Losing virginity at an older age	5/5/2009
Q: Neder, I am dealing with a difficult situation, and I hope you could offer some words of wisdom. ... A: First of all, I want to thank you for not making this email private. There are a lot of people on ...
Girlfriend Advice	5/5/2009
Q: I am an 19 year old student at a major southern university. I have a wonderful girlfriend who i have ... A: First of all; while you're going to totally ignore this advice, I'm going to give it to you anyway - ...
dating	5/4/2009
Q: I am 20 and the longest I have been in a relationship is 10 months, but I have noticed a pattern in ... A: "Clingy" is far too simplistic a concept to explain all of this. No, it's not that you're clingy, ...
I'm am so confussed	5/4/2009
Q: So I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now and I love him So much but i think i'm ... A: No, I don't think you and your boyfriend should break up - yet. You need to make some effort to get ...
Does she really want to just be friends?	5/4/2009
Q: So I've been friends with this woman for close to ten years, she went to high school with a few of ... A: Well, congratulations! You've become her emotional tampon! Good job! Yes, I'm sure you really DO ...
What's wrong?	5/3/2009
Q: I'm 21-years-old and single. I'm not bad with girls and have had many girlfriends, the first when I ... A: Now wait a minute. In one breath you tell me how great you are with girls and the next you tell me ...
Getting an ex-girlfriend back	5/2/2009
Q: I had been going out with a girl for almost 4 years. It started off perfectly, almost like a fairy ... A: What's causing her insecurities isn't that this happened, it's that you're trying to take away her ...
how to approch this guy	5/2/2009
Q: I'm Aqidah. Well all i want 2 know, is what do you say 2 a guy, a random guy U don't know..and ask ... A: I'm sorry, but I don't do "pass-through's". If she wants to know this, she's going to have to write ...
frustrated, what to do?	5/2/2009
Q: i am 18 years old. This girl and i broke up a little more than a week ago becuase the relationship ... A: First of all, you DO NOT want to be this girl's friend. If you really think you do, then you can ...
Girlfriend	5/1/2009
Q: Me and my girlfriend have recently been having troubles. We havent been hanging out as much cause ... A: This just shows you how inconsiderate and disrespectful this girl is. She doesn't seem to think she ...
Girlfriend	5/1/2009
Q: Me and my girlfriend have recently been having troubles. We havent been hanging out as much cause ... A: What a callous coward she is! She was your girlfriend (yes, "was") and doesn't even have the decency ...
dating	4/30/2009
Q: There is a guy at my work who I really like and I think he likes me, I'm not entirely sure though. ... A: "Clingy" and "desperate". Why is it that every woman is so concerned with these two things that ...
breast size after orgasm	4/29/2009
Q: After watching porn and orgasming, I've noticed my breasts have gotten quite a bigger in a few days. ... A: The breast enhancement isn't permanent, but it can last up to a few days. It depends on the person - ...
breast size after orgasm	4/29/2009
Q: After watching porn and orgasming, I've noticed my breasts have gotten quite a bigger in a few days. ... A: Yes, it's normal, LOL. I've debated as to how much science to unleash on you, but I'll keep it ...
boyfriends	4/29/2009
Q: how would you know if a boy likes you when he or you don't know what 2 ask each other like lost 4 ... A: If a boy is showing you attention, he likes you. It's pretty simple really. As to being at a loss ...
Does he really love me or is he just after sex?	4/28/2009
Q: Neder, I've been going out with this guy for almost 3 months, we're both college students but met ... A: You have a serious problem with all of this now. The reality is that you've waited too long to get ...
pick me!	4/28/2009
Q: I have been seeing this guy for a few weeks so our relationship is very new. He seems to like me but ... A: What you need to do is a simple, two-step process. Step #1: with the time you do spend with him (in ...
in which manner to confornt him?	4/28/2009
Q: in short :ther's this guy whom i realy love n he loves me 2 like mad....bt our releationship is not ... A: For him to unload all of this about his ex on you; frankly, that's pretty rude! If he's not over ...
It must be me	4/27/2009
Q: I've started back on the dating scene at 60. I signed up on online services and have met over 50 men ... A: Well, I certainly can't tell you what the problem is from way over here. It could be anything, but ...
How to increase chances of being loved.	4/27/2009
Q: I am a doctor just a month back completed the course, just 3 months back i got a contact of a girl ... A: Congratulations on completing your doctorate. That is a very significant accomplishment! You are ...
Foolish	4/27/2009
Q: Dr. Neder, I have read several of your posts and you seem to be brutally honest with people so I ... A: Let's cut to the chase here: what you really want from me is how to change him. You already know my ...
Being late	4/26/2009
Q: I have a question about friendship, not dating, but I hope I can ask this question here. The first ... A: The "next time"??? Why in the hell would there ever BE a next time? You don't want to be rude - I ...
succes story and the proper time to take things to the next level	4/26/2009
Q: I`ve met this gal recently in the university,1-how many times a week should I call her? 2-How can I ... A: Congratulations on getting this far! I'm very, very proud of you! 1-You want to start building a ...
Unsure of a slightly older married man's intentions	4/25/2009
Q: I'm sure you know the cliche single woman in the office working with married man that has been in an ... A: It's entirely unfair to make him responsible in any way for your past. He didn't cause you this hurt ...
does she likes me?	4/25/2009
Q: but then i statrted asking a few questiong and it came to thisare u interested in guys? and she ... A: It looks to me that she's reacting to your judging her being a bisexual. Yes, you have a chance ...
won't introduce me to his parents	4/25/2009
Q: I have been dating a nice guy for almost 8 months now and he haven't introduced me to his family ... A: I don't know his family, but not, that's not normal. It makes me wonder who he's hiding from whom - ...
kissing a friend	4/24/2009
Q: I'm a 16 year old boy and I'm in a long distance relationship with a girl of the same age. The other ... A: Yes it's normal. I don't know why it happened. I don't interpret dreams. What's not "normal" is ...
i like her	4/24/2009
Q: Ok, I really like this girl I am talking too we text every day and talk about everything, from the ... A: Whew! I'm glad you finally discovered that period (".") key on your keyboard even if it were at the ...
Dating a Widower	4/23/2009
Q: I have been dating a widower for 8 months. His wife died 3.5 years ago and he has 3 kids. He told ... A: What if he doesn't want you to have to drive that far? What if he's afraid the neighbors might think ...
moving in together	4/23/2009
Q: My partner asked me and my 3 kids to move in with him. He has chosen the place and already moved. ... A: Regarding a checklist, if you go to my website (http://BeingAMan.com) and click on Self Help, you ...
So Confused	4/23/2009
Q: I met this guy at work; he is really sweet and of course hot. We agree on so many things. Out of the ... A: Some people simply don't like using the phone so no, I wouldn't take that one quirk as an indication ...
i like her	4/22/2009
Q: Ok, I really like this girl I am talking too we text every day and talk about everything, from ... A: The next step is to move this outside of school and into "real life". You don't have to have your ...
Dating a Widower	4/22/2009
Q: I have been dating a widower for 8 months. His wife died 3.5 years ago and he has 3 kids. He told ... A: I don't think you should end it. First, ask yourself what exactly you're missing by not seeing his ...
first date questions	4/21/2009
Q: Neder, What are good questions to ask on a first date? Especially when so many general questions ... A: There are far too many variables here to answer this question. Where did you meet? How long have you ...
Mixed signals	4/21/2009
Q: First of all, sorry for the Length. Im 23 years old, and This girl i like recently broke up with ... A: In this case, I don't think she's playing hard-to-get. I think that something happened that caused ...
hi dennis!!! questions tonite!!!	4/21/2009
Q: Hey Dennis, Some questions tonight. 1. Sometimes I'll approach a guy at a club, and he'll just ... A: Hey Laura! Some answers this morning. 1. Well, yes, you should just ignore them and keep ...
My Ex is dating another guy, but says she wants to get back together later	4/21/2009
Q: Okay, my Ex and I were dating for about 3 months, longest either of us had kept a relationship. (My ... A: You have no idea how often I answer this exact same question. In fact, it's becoming an everyday ...
Dating an International Student	4/20/2009
Q: Dennis W. Neder, I have a question about dating an international student. I go to a small private ... A: If you're thinking about a long-distance relationship ("LDR") forget it. LDR's NEVER work out. There ...
first date questions	4/20/2009
Q: Neder, What are good questions to ask on a first date? Especially when so many general questions ... A: The very best questions to ask are based on your own goals. You DO have relationship goals, don't ...
Why be friends with ex-girlfriend?	4/19/2009
Q: Dr. Neder, I would appreciate your advice. I was dating a co-worker for 10 months and was dumped ... A: Hey Jackson! You don't have to give up all hope, but you do need to be reasonable - and come from a ...
Testing People	4/19/2009
Q: Why do some people test each other? Like when someone pushes the other person to see if they will ... A: Here's some reality: Within the context of a relationship, it's actually pretty rare for men to ...
What do I do?	4/18/2009
Q: I started dating this guy from my college. He has never had a girlfriend before. We really got along ... A: You hit it right on the head. Guys express their feelings for their partners physically. Because ...
Ripped apart between imagination n reality	4/18/2009
Q: Neder, My question to you involves how to deal with a break up...or more correctly a relationship ... A: First of all, I'm happy that she's given you this gift - and that you've accepted it. ("What the ...
He cancelled our first date	4/17/2009
Q: So I meet this guy about a week ago and all was going well, or so I thought. We talked for about 3 ... A: Yes, this can be rescheduled. Let me explain: For you (as a girl) that whole "canceling the date at ...
Why be friends with ex-girlfriend?	4/17/2009
Q: Dr. Neder, I would appreciate your advice. I was dating a co-worker for 10 months and was dumped ... A: You "love" her (I'm not convinced of that - I think you may be addicted to her however) simply ...
Help a Law Student!!	4/17/2009
Q: ! I have a little dating dilemma! I'm a second year law student who has pretty much focused on ... A: I'm glad you're pulling your head out of your studies a little to look around. No doubt your ...
Why be friends with ex-girlfriend?	4/16/2009
Q: Dr. Neder, I would appreciate your advice. I was dating a co-worker for 10 months and was dumped ... A: You, my friend, must be a fucking genius! Do you know how many guys would just sit back, continue ...
Should I Let Him Go	4/16/2009
Q: I have a man in my life that I have been friends with and dating off and on for a year and a half. ... A: Frankly, this guy sounds pretty toxic. I don't think you should let him go, I think you should push ...
sending Mixed Signals	4/16/2009
Q: I`ve met this gal recently in the university,1-how many times a week should I call her? 2-How can I ... A: 1-Why are you looking for some formula about the number of times to call her? Did you meet her in ...
Tips for two independent people moving in together	4/15/2009
Q: I have dated my current boyfriend for two years. We love each other very much and are about to move ... A: You're "independent", huh? Then, don't move in together. There's no point - no reason - and worse, ...
Insecure Wife	4/15/2009
Q: my name is Nick, I'm 18 years old, and my wife is very insecure. I just recently moved to Washington ... A: It doesn't bother you that the mother of your children is out cattin' around with other guys? What ...
Confused	4/15/2009
Q: I was wondering if maybe you can help me understand something. I know that you obviously cannot read ... A: "...I know that you cannot read minds....but do it for me anyway, ok??" However, in this case, I ...
How should the first date be organised?	4/14/2009
Q: Im taking a girl out this week. Weve decided were going bowling but havnt organised a time or place ... A: First of all, congratulations on this first date. Bowling is a good choice because you get "face ...
dating	4/13/2009
Q: i am nineteen years old and recently started to communicate with an ex girlfriend of mine, we broke ... A: You're right about not being able to put anything together with her. The reality is that ...
braggers	4/13/2009
Q: I'm an observer, and I notice people at school talking and I listen in on their conversations in ... A: Actually, no. It's not that complicated. Frankly, they are far more likely to be bragging about this ...
Can I get my girlfriend back?	4/13/2009
Q: I just wanted to ask you a question. This past week my girlfriend of 8 months asked to take a 5 day ... A: Get scarce. Stop responding to her texts or even phone calls. Unless she really feels the loss ...
relationship	4/12/2009
Q: I've dating this guy for almost two months. When we first met we would talk for hours, and when we ... A: I agree that this is a lot of time to be spending together. It's not so much that it's too early, ...
first impressions and serious dating	4/11/2009
Q: Neder, A few questions. You know how you get that instant gut feeling that someone is not a nice ... A: Actually, I think your reasoning here is rather specious. Consider this: of the 10-15 times this has ...
arranged marriage	4/11/2009
Q: Being a senior, I'm asking you for advice. I'm a 27 year old woman who has grown up in America and ... A: I think that arranged marriages are a ridiculous throw-back to a time that no longer exists and ...
you give crappy advice	4/10/2009
Q: reading your columns almost make my eyes bleed. what makes you think you know everything? just cuz u ... A: Oh, sorry. You sound and write like a woman. I'm sure nobody will blame me for thinking you are one. ...
you give crappy advice	4/10/2009
Q: reading your columns almost make my eyes bleed. what makes you think you know everything? just cuz u ... A: Oh, my god! That is SOOOOOOOOOOOO adorable! You actually think I give a shit what you think! Wow, ...
marriage material	4/10/2009
Q: What are some signs that a man is "marriage material" and that a woman should definitely consider ... A: One of the best signs is to check the ring finger of his left hand (at least here in the States); if ...
questions	4/10/2009
Q: I notice that if you have sex too soon, this makes a relationship crash and burn. Can you tell me ... A: I don't believe this is true. What do you mean by "too soon"? Are you saying within minutes of ...
too fast	4/9/2009
Q: i just started a relationship with this guy that I've known and work with longer than a year. We've ... A: You wanted to "go slow" eh? Why not "go fast" or "go up and down" or "sideways" or whatever? I'm ...
Seeing eachother after breakup	4/9/2009
Q: Neder I have asked you dozen questions over the past few years regarding relationships and I've ... A: What happened was this: When you first started seeing her, you were probably much less involved and ...
2257 laws and do they apply to me.	4/8/2009
Q: I run a global provocative adult dating/sex liaison website called www.247sexysingles.com. The ... A: You may need to consult an attorney on this as I am not one. However, I believe these laws don't ...
Insecurity & Romance issue	4/8/2009
Q: Neder, My boyfriend and I have been dating a little over 6 months now. I am falling for him, but I ... A: I appreciate what you're trying to do here, but let's boil this down to it's essence: you want him ...
Can exs still be friends? part 3	4/7/2009
Q: Dr. Neder. There is one thing I forgot to mention to you and you should know this. Whether this is ... A: Hey David! You seem to think that I can actually remember what we've talked about before with you ...
Met a girl..She gave me her virginity.	4/7/2009
Q: Dr. Neder, First and foremost thanks for this service. I have a lot on my mind and its great ... A: "Came on too strong"?? No, you didn't "come on" at all. In fact, this girl probably really regrets ...
Can exs still be friends? part 2	4/7/2009
Q: Dr. Neder. Thanks for your prompt response. Okay, here is an update. I spoke with my ex and told ... A: I think your ex is grasping for straws here. She doesn't want to lose your friendship (selfishly) ...
Moving out of my parents home to move in with my boyfriend	4/7/2009
Q: I have been in a steady relationship for almost 2 years now, my boyfriend and I get along great. We ... A: You're an "independent person"? First off, this alone is a misconception. It's one of those ...
should I pursue	4/6/2009
Q: I am a 28 year old woman. I'm in graduate school pursuing a doctorate. I met an incredibly handsome ... A: If she lives in another country, he isn't "dating her" at all. He's simply attached to her by the ...
Opposites Attract	4/6/2009
Q: OK ... I realize this question may be a stretch from your usual questions but I have a big dilemma. ... A: The term "opposites attract" is a great sound-bite, but is only partially true. In reality, some ...
Moving out of my parents home to move in with my boyfriend	4/6/2009
Q: I have been in a steady relationship for almost 2 years now, my boyfriend and I get along great. We ... A: The vicissitudes of life are inexorable. (change happens) Part of the problem here is that you've ...
Is he trying to make a fool out of me?	4/5/2009
Q: My name is Nyia. I am 23 years old and the guy I was talking to is 28 years old. The reason why I ... A: More texting-hell? Man! Am I seeing a ton of this these days or what? Part of the problem is that ...
Can exs still be friends?	4/3/2009
Q: Neder. I'm David and I need your advice. Over two years ago, I broke up with my ex and began ... A: You want my "honest advice"? No, I'm sorry - you only get my dis-honest advice, just like everyone ...
Advice	4/2/2009
Q: Dr. Neder, I have in the last few weeks gotten acquainted with a man who is 44 that has just ... A: Wow - some of you girls will find any way you can to sabotage an otherwise perfect relationship ...
Love or not?	4/2/2009
Q: I've never done this before but I figured i'd give it a shot. Im out of ideas... So, where to ... A: Yes, he tells you whatever it is that he thinks will keep you on the hook - and it works because you ...
help me start a conversation with guy I am seeing	4/2/2009
Q: I don't have dating experience enough to figure out my problem. I am seeing this guy, we go on ... A: Frankly, I think scaring him would probably be a good thing right now! You're right - he's entirely ...
advice	4/2/2009
Q: You may have seen this video before. But I have more questions. Let's say you have roommates such ... A: How many times have you asked me this same question? How many times do you want me to give you the ...
Love or not?	4/1/2009
Q: I've never done this before but I figured i'd give it a shot. Im out of ideas... So, where to ... A: You have (at least) three problems here: first, you're addicted to him within the context of a toxic ...
did i make the rwrong move?	3/31/2009
Q: So, i been seeing this guy for a while...on the first two date he was such a gentlemen and he never ... A: No, you're not wrong. In fact, you handled this just right. I talk to so many women that don't ...
Should I panic?	3/30/2009
Q: I need your help.. my live-in bf of over a year decided that we want to get married (at that he was ... A: Hmmm...interesting way to put this: HE decided that you both wanted to get married. Let's start ...
break-up	3/30/2009
Q: My situation is probably complicated so please bare with me as I try to explain. I met a man 8 ... A: Ok, that was a looooonnnnnngggggg sad story. What specifically do you want to know? I can't just sit ...
Need Advice	3/28/2009
Q: "Hi I need alil advice about something i met this guy online we were talking for a while now and i'm ... A: What advice do you need? You've told this guy all you want is what you want and you don't give a ...
work	3/26/2009
Q: I just asked this girl out at work after being prodded by a colleague. It did seem like she was ... A: What I wish you'd have done was to say to her, "Don't be ridiculous. Just because you read that in ...
men have no concept of female sexuality	3/25/2009
Q: Why are men so clueless about women's sexualities? No I'm not talking about in the sack. I'm a ... A: I think, according to your question that women can be rather clueless about men's sexualities too, ...
Break up	3/25/2009
Q: I had recently ended a two year relationship last September.. Although we had broken up, we were ... A: Hey Ini! If you're broken up - you're not committed to each other - you're both free to pursue ...
Break up	3/25/2009
Q: I had recently ended a two year relationship last September.. Although we had broken up, we were ... A: What does "hwta" mean? Ini, I can't answer your questions if they're not clear. Best regards... ...
kissing virgin	3/25/2009
Q: so ive never kissed someone and my boyfriend lost his virginity in 6th grade. I really don't know ... A: Here's an article from my site that will help: http://beingaman.com/articleviewer.asp?ID=164 Best ...
karma?	3/23/2009
Q: Dennis I have noticed something. I have always been very kind and loving towards people. Most of ... A: Hey Lindsey! At work? If you work in a hostile workplace you have a lawsuit. At home? You call the ...
Break up	3/23/2009
Q: I had recently ended a two year relationship last September.. Although we had broken up, we were ... A: 1) I don't know her. I don't know the situation and I don't read minds. I can't begin to tell you ...
karma?	3/23/2009
Q: Dennis I have noticed something. I have always been very kind and loving towards people. Most of ... A: The real question here is why do you give a shit what anyone else thinks? If you spend your life ...
I need help	3/23/2009
Q: I am 21, an actor, musician, artist, and have just recently moved to a big city from a small town. ... A: What does being raised in a small town have to do with being anti-social? In fact, if anything I ...
karma?	3/22/2009
Q: Dennis I have noticed something. I have always been very kind and loving towards people. Most of ... A: I really like this question! First, I don't believe that people are either evil or good. I believe ...
trying to get with a woman in a relationship	3/22/2009
Q: I first met this girl 7 years ago when she was dating my friend in the sophomore year of high ... A: Let's forget the history for a minute and look at the facts: * This guy is an asshole * She's with ...
Break Up	3/20/2009
Q: Me and girlfriend have going out for a month and then she broke up with becuase i was boring but whe ... A: No, I don't think that's why she broke up with you. It sounds like it was that you and she never ...
I wanna want more.	3/20/2009
Q: My fiance and I live together and we are both 19. We live with my mom though that doesn't really ... A: Ok. So your libido hasn't changed and that's a good thing. There is a big difference between men and ...
how to get him to kiss me	3/20/2009
Q: Dr. Dennis I recently started dating a guy (I'm 21, he's 22)...I am his first girlfriend and I've ... A: In 2 months of dating you haven't even kissed yet? You two are really not in any big hurry, are you? ...
I wanna want more.	3/19/2009
Q: My fiance and I live together and we are both 19. We live with my mom though that doesn't really ... A: Yes, I'm not surprised this is affecting your relationship. I'm a little unclear about a few ...
I still have feelings for my ex.	3/18/2009
Q: In november weeks after receiving news that we were expecting our second child, my boyfriend of 5 ... A: Is that really your question??? Whether you can hate him and love him at the same time? Ok then, ...
even steven	3/18/2009
Q: Dennis, I recently started dating a guy...I am 21, he's 22...we've been together for about 2 months ... A: What an incredibly great question this is. I'm so proud of you for asking - even KNOWING to ask. I ...
Should I go?	3/18/2009
Q: I was friended on Facebook by a guy that was the friend of a guy I knew in school. I kind of ... A: Why assume that? What are you hoping for here, that this guy puts his entire life on hold just so ...
She's a Drama Queen	3/18/2009
Q: I have been in a relationship going on 4 years. My mans ex continues to ask him, "When are you ... A: I can't help anyone that doesn't want to be helped. Think about this: if she REALLY thought she ...
haters	3/17/2009
Q: This issue that I am writing to you is not about dating per se, but you seem to be a perceptive ... A: You claim that your personality hasn't changed, but let's be real here: how could it have not? Your ...
Big crush but no action	3/17/2009
Q: Neder, My divorce was finalized last summer and I'm feeling the desire to get back out there. I ... A: My question is: why do you put up with this "freezing behavior" out of yourself? Is that really how ...
Relationship	3/17/2009
Q: I messed up with my girl friend. i went to prom with another girl as a favor for my friend because ... A: I think you're with the wrong girl. Really Luke. What are you doing here? Don't you see that in ...
Questions! Questions!	3/16/2009
Q: !! I've got quite a few massive questions tonight. Hang on! 1. What qualifies as slutty? What ... A: 1) Yes. 2) Often they are the same thing! Here's at least one mistake I see women making all the ...
Questions! Questions!	3/16/2009
Q: !! I've got quite a few massive questions tonight. Hang on! 1. What qualifies as slutty? What ... A: Answers! Answers! 1) A man like me, or someone else? I have to ask that question because every man ...
To be or not to be...	3/15/2009
Q: Dr. Neder, I have been in an on again off again relationship with a man for 6 years now. He has ... A: I'm always amazed at how smart people get AFTER they write to me! ;) I'm glad you're ready to move ...
I Don't Know What To Do...	3/15/2009
Q: Ok. I've been dating an amazing girl for little over two months now. A week or so ago, we had our ... A: She broke up with you via email??? What a insulting coward! You and she were dating and this is all ...
Dating a minister	3/15/2009
Q: A man recently contacted me via match. He sent 2 very nice emails before I responded. He had a photo ... A: No, that's no "standard" I've ever heard of! He isn't your counselor or directly involved with you, ...
To be or not to be...	3/14/2009
Q: Dr. Neder, I have been in an on again off again relationship with a man for 6 years now. He has ... A: You have to accept one simple fact: you aren't his therapist. You're not there to make him all ...
Backgrounds too different?	3/13/2009
Q: Anyway, I'll get straight to it- My girlfriend of almost a year now and I are having some ... A: Yes, if things continue the way they are now, your relationship is doomed. The good news is that ...
playing hard to get or just not interested?	3/13/2009
Q: (I'm a woman) I like a guy at school and it's pretty clear he's interested. But he is one of those ... A: Frankly, I think you should find someone else just because this guy sounds like a jackass! Is this ...
Are these signs for real?	3/12/2009
Q: I need some clarification.. my question might sound very silly,but I just need to hear from another ... A: There are no "silly questions" - only unanswered ones. Yes, he's testing the waters, but with a ...
The "L" word	3/10/2009
Q: Neder, I'm a 25 year old woman who has been dating a wonderful guy for about 2 months. It was one ... A: Yes, it's common. Some people (such as yourself) are "auditories" and deal with words and sounds. ...
Mutual Attraction?	3/10/2009
Q: About 2 weeks ago, a co-worker and I went to TGI Friday’s after work on a Wednesday to take ... A: Oh yes, the waitress story. How many times have I heard this one? (answer: a lot!) You first need ...
The "L" word	3/9/2009
Q: Neder, I'm a 25 year old woman who has been dating a wonderful guy for about 2 months. It was one ... A: No I don't think you've made any mistakes here. On what do you base this fear? You're not acting ...
falling for the wrong girls	3/8/2009
Q: Neder, I seem to be attracted to attention whores. This is a recurring trend. The problem is that ... A: You and about 98% of the male population! Attention Whores ("AW's") are experts at making you think ...
Not sure what to do...	3/8/2009
Q: About three weeks ago my boyfriend of 3 years started an argument with me and bailed out of the ... A: I can't read his mind to tell you what he's thinking. I agree that it's wrong and he appears to be ...
Things are different...	3/8/2009
Q: Ok I've been going out with this amazing girl for the past 5 months. When i met her she was dating ... A: Get WHAT back? You had nothing to get back. Is that what you want - nothing? She's not giving you ...
Ok not the response I wanted	3/7/2009
Q: Ok I recently asked for some advice, and you told me to put my foot down. now she doesn't want to be ... A: I'm afraid that I get so many of these letters every single day that I can't possibly remember one ...
HELP NEEDED NOW	3/6/2009
Q: I have just split with my fiancee of two years we were dating for a year and engaged for a year also ... A: I never recommend making these huge relationship changes during a time of crisis like this. I'm sure ...
experience	3/5/2009
Q: I'm 27 years old and even though I'm almost 30, I've never had a boyfriend. I'm still a virgin. I ... A: Your words: "Also both of them put their penis in my vagina about an inch or so but didnt put it up ...
tough situation	3/5/2009
Q: I am in a situation you read about every day. I too am going through a break-up. I know what I am ... A: Don't wonder. It was the right decision. Think about this: would you cut a dog's tail off piece by ...
experience	3/5/2009
Q: I'm 27 years old and even though I'm almost 30, I've never had a boyfriend. I'm still a virgin. I ... A: No Anna. You're not a total loser at all. In fact, you're not a virgin either! What do you think ...
Things are different...	3/4/2009
Q: Ok I've been going out with this amazing girl for the past 5 months. When i met her she was dating ... A: Let's see here: you're being "unreasonable" because she just wants to do whatever she wants to do ...
can we trust eachother again?	3/3/2009
Q: Well me and my significant other have major trust issues. I can't call her my girlfriend because ... A: Let's start by talking about what trust really is. You're right - you can't trust her. The reason ...
does he like me or is he just being freindly	3/2/2009
Q: i intern in a magic show and a new magician came to perform. i was his assistant for the nite..we ... A: From what you've told me, it doesn't sound like he's very interested in you. If he is interested, he ...
What should I do?	3/1/2009
Q: I'm a bisexual female and I'm pursuing an ex-girlfriend of mine but I don't know if it's ok to ... A: I think it's a good idea to get back with her as long as you fix whatever it was that broke you up ...
Not sure if her profile is fake	3/1/2009
Q: I've been messaging this female on an online dating site for about a month. In conversation, we have ... A: She's right and you're wrong. Does she sound "fake"? Frankly, everything about this is "fake"! ...
stolen	2/27/2009
Q: Dennis, I really like a guy Adam at school and it's obvious he likes me back. But he has a ... A: I can't possible know what Justin's statement means. The only one that knows is Justin. You should ...
dating	2/27/2009
Q: I am 28. I have been courting this girl who has a BF. Before I started the process I asked if ... A: "...[whether] anything happens or not it's fine..." It won't happen. You just killed off any chance ...
surprised	2/27/2009
Q: (I'm a girl) A bunch of guys at school were talking about string bikini models at the lunch table, ... A: Gee, sorry. I don't read minds. No, I can't tell you what they were thinking. You should ask one or ...
I forgot.....	2/27/2009
Q: So I talked to a girl at the gym, and we became friends. She said she wanted to hook me up with her ... A: Hey Joe! Damn I hate being so right all the time! No, she's not scared shitless. This is all part ...
Question	2/25/2009
Q: Hey Dr. Neder. I have a question. I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years now. I love her so much ... A: You didn't mention your ages and that makes quite a bit of difference. You're asking me a general ...
I forgot.....	2/24/2009
Q: So I talked to a girl at the gym, and we became friends. She said she wanted to hook me up with her ... A: Well, I think you missed most of the subtle nuance of the "womanese" elements, but at least you ...
what now?	2/22/2009
Q: I was dating a really confused man. Oddly enough, a really confused man with abandonment issues ... A: You know, for all the words you've used in that LONG letter, I still have no clue what you're asking ...
to marry or not to marry...that is the question	2/21/2009
Q: Dennis Neder, I am a woman who listens to a lot of women complain that men don't wanna commit, blah ... A: Hey! These are some excellent questions! To your first one: the key is to not try to manipulate ...
to marry or not to marry...that is the question	2/20/2009
Q: Dennis Neder, I am a woman who listens to a lot of women complain that men don't wanna commit, blah ... A: How are you going to steer clear of them and still date? Everyone has issues and baggage. You just ...
feelings	2/20/2009
Q: I'm looking for a guy's perspective on my dating confusion. Lol, hopefully you can help me out! I'm ... A: Well, I'm a guy and I have a perspective! Let's that that one, ok? No, he's not confused at all. In ...
to marry or not to marry...that is the question	2/20/2009
Q: Dennis Neder, I am a woman who listens to a lot of women complain that men don't wanna commit, blah ... A: Yikes is right! I've been on dates with women that have done this too and it's off-putting to say ...
creep	2/20/2009
Q: Hey Dennis. A while ago, I wrote to you about meeting an exceedingly handsome gentleman who was ... A: Yes, I remember this story, and you're very welcome by the way! Unfortunately, today, we are a very ...
Totally confused	2/18/2009
Q: I have been dating a man for about three years now. The relationship is incredible. We get along ... A: I never claimed that anyone here doesn't have intentions or even expectations for their futures. The ...
Totally confused	2/18/2009
Q: I have been dating a man for about three years now. The relationship is incredible. We get along ... A: No, you don't know that he doesn't want more in the future. It appears that he's hot and cold. ...
Need Advice	2/17/2009
Q: When on a date last weekend I ran into a guy that I had been trying to go out with for a while - as ... A: First of all, it's only been 4 days. Yes, I know that seems like a long time in "girl years", but in ...
Is he cheating?	2/17/2009
Q: I just have a question for you. My boyfriend and I have only officially been together since ... A: If you and he had been dating for a 6 months or a year or more I'd say that there was a problem. ...
I've have been dating a girl for 5 yrs	2/17/2009
Q: Dr. Neder, I have been dating my girlfriend for over 5 years. We have been dating since my senior ... A: First of all, the answer is yes - you've missed out on some things by having stayed with your ...
too funny	2/17/2009
Q: I'm the type of gal that is always cracking jokes and stuff and making a lot of men laugh. Usually ... A: If you're naturally funny, you shouldn't change that. It's certainly a benefit. The problem is that ...
regret	2/17/2009
Q: I lived in an apartment with 2 female roommates. One was a bully and was constantly harassing me, ... A: I don't know if she will or not since I don't know her. What I do know is that you're still caught ...
My Boyfriend and his Autistic Child	2/16/2009
Q: I am a thirty-one year old female. I have been living with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he has a ... A: Why; after 3 years, don't you have any friends in your city. You're not trapped, you've simply tied ...
Was I too simple?	2/15/2009
Q: I was in a large popular shopping mall the other day when I spotted a lady who resembles the lady ... A: Honestly, there was nothing "fortunate" or even lucky about it. You really do manifest the things ...
i lied to my girlfriend twice	2/14/2009
Q: hello i lied to my gf twice now first time she asked me no to go into the night clubs and i said i ... A: Dump this idiot. She doesn't deserve to be with anyone until she grows up A LOT. What an insecure, ...
questions	2/14/2009
Q: I have 2 questions. 1. I'm a gal. There is a guy I like, and his friends say he likes me more than ... A: 1a. Go to dictionary.com. 1b. I don't know him. I can't say if his interest is only sexual, but I'm ...
Was I too simple?	2/13/2009
Q: I was in a large popular shopping mall the other day when I spotted a lady who resembles the lady ... A: I'm not convinced that you did move on the digits too quickly. In fact, I think the timing was just ...
Dating	2/13/2009
Q: I have been dating a girl for 6 months. We are in a committed relationship. She works in a small ... A: Ok, so there's nothing there on her part. What about his? When they go to lunch, who buys? What are ...
Relationship problems	2/13/2009
Q: I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 months now. We had a rocky first month or so but then things ... A: In only 4 months, you two sound like an old married couple - "The Bickersons!" This is a real issue ...
does he really care about me?	2/12/2009
Q: I have been seeing this guy Joe for about 7 months now. I understand that he has a hard time ... A: So, let me ask you ais this the very first time you've ever seen someone that says one thing and ...
Cancel or not? re a trip with girlfriends because of problems with boyfriend	2/10/2009
Q: I have planned a trip to Asia with my girlfriends for 3 weeks but my boyfriend asked to go - it is a ... A: You're going to have to decide where you are in this relationship. Either you're a couple or you're ...
relationship advice as usual :)	2/10/2009
Q: Its kind of a semi-long question but I could really use the advice. I recently broke up with my ex ... A: Don't be confused at all. What's happened is that you've gotten the physical part of the ...
I need to know whats on my friends mind.	2/9/2009
Q: I am Halwa from Bangalore. I Just want to know whats on this female's mind? Shall I be the first one ... A: Of course she's interested in you! She's "investing" 2-3 hours on the phone with you! Doesn't that ...
Asking someone out:	2/7/2009
Q: "I really like this friend of mine, and the other night I told him i liked him. Well, he said he ... A: Yes, you're just being nervous and insecure. He's agreed to go out with you, who cares what you call ...
players	2/6/2009
Q: I'm a female. I liked this gorgeous guy who is a bit of a player. He liked me back too but he didn't ... A: Actually, this one's pretty easy. Instead of being direct and clear and forthcoming with him, you ...
non emotional boyfriend	2/5/2009
Q: I honestly don't know what to do with my boyfriend(I am 27 and he is 29). We have been together for ... A: What??? You don't know if he "cares"? Are you serious about that because if you are, you need some ...
Am I paranoid or is she playing games?	2/3/2009
Q: This is a follow up After rereading my question. She has been apologetic and said she was really ... A: After 4 dates, no, I don't think this is moving too quickly. She may be holding you off trying to ...
What is going on here?	2/2/2009
Q: I have a “friend” who I’ve been seeing for about 8 months or so. We started out dating and it was ... A: As I said before, if you're so terrified of losing her, then just suck it up and do nothing. Just ...
What is going on here?	2/2/2009
Q: I have a “friend” who I’ve been seeing for about 8 months or so. We started out dating and it was ... A: Let's get this out of the way first: if you're really serious about not wanting to lose this girl as ...
question	2/2/2009
Q: This is probably a silly question but if a girl goes out of her way to tell you she has a boyfriend ... A: No, it likely doesn't mean that at all, but it could. The problem here is one of context. Simply ...
Did I wait to long and blow a chance to sweep my S off her feet?	2/1/2009
Q: Around Christmas and New Years I flirted with a woman at work, S, and it looked like she may be ... A: Here's the problem: you don't have a plan. You're doing everything based on spur-of-the-moment ...
relationship issue w/ girlfriend	1/29/2009
Q: i have been dating a woman for 4 1/2 years now.i'm currently 51 and she is 44.we met on an Internet ... A: Yes, I understand that you don't want to hurt her feelings, but consider this: how is she going to ...
Sex Issues	1/29/2009
Q: Dennis! I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years now. I have some issues with our sex life. My ... A: Fuck yeah, you're putting him on the spot! What the hell? Are his needs the only ones that matter ...
How to get my girl back.	1/29/2009
Q: I dated a friend for a month a while ago. The thing is she liked me first and was the one who showed ... A: Tell her that you're not willing to be her friend - you already have enough friends. Tell her also ...
Should I be in this relationship?	1/28/2009
Q: I have been with my girl friend for a little over a month. There are times that I don't know if I ... A: You told me the "what" but you haven't told me the "why". Is it simply that the sex is boring and ...
I need help on how to catch & keep A Man	1/27/2009
Q: I need serious help on how to keep a guy.....I have had series of guys attracted to me and dating me ... A: "R/P"? I don't know where some of you get these abbreviations from! I sense there are a couple of ...
my boyfriend left me 9 weeks pregnant	1/27/2009
Q: My boyfriend is 22 and I'm 26, so I know there is a little bit of immaturity there. We have a really ... A: First of all, I don't read minds in order to tell you if he's going to come back or not. However, it ...
Me and my ex	1/27/2009
Q: So last month my boyfriend broke up with me. We have been together for 6 months, and I lived with ... A: And you actually want this guy and his family back? Really? Is that all you think you're worth? ...
Asking out on a date	1/26/2009
Q: There is a girl i like who works in the local supermarket and i was wondering what is the best way ... A: It's pretty simple really. Just ask yourself what context you both share. She works at the market ...
help	1/26/2009
Q: Just the other day a furious guy called me up, insulting me and asking me about the “affair” I had ... A: My opinion about what? You've already contacted two psychologists. If you have a specific question, ...
Am I paranoid or is she playing games?	1/26/2009
Q: This is a follow up After rereading my question. She has been apologetic and said she was really ... A: I'm afraid that if you don't copy the original messages I can't possibly remember what we talked ...
College, no time?	1/25/2009
Q: Neder, I've been friends with this great guy for about 6 months. Within the last month or so, he ... A: Sometimes, with busy people, you need to learn to prioritize your time. Since you and he are now ...
Learning Woman-Speak	1/25/2009
Q: I e-mailed you before, looking for a way to communicate with girls I date in a language I ... A: Funny - we just did an entire segment on "womanese" on my show two weeks ago. You've obviously ...
bullying?	1/23/2009
Q: I happen to be a really beautiful woman, I used to model. I'm 6 feet tall and very thin. I live in a ... A: Backing away is certainly one possible answer. Frankly, I'm a bit more aggressive with these sorts ...
bullying?	1/22/2009
Q: I happen to be a really beautiful woman, I used to model. I'm 6 feet tall and very thin. I live in a ... A: You're really beautiful? Ok - says you! ;) Frankly, I watched this clip and was rolling on the ...
Reconnecting with old flames part 3	1/22/2009
Q: Dennis, Update..After three weeks of no contact..I have heard from my flame once again By mistake I ... A: Hey Melissa! You can't be friends with this guy and have your marriage too. You're going to have to ...
Reconnecting with old flames part 3	1/22/2009
Q: Dennis, Update..After three weeks of no contact..I have heard from my flame once again By mistake I ... A: I'm guessing that this is in response to a previous question, but if so, I have no clue what it is ...
I am SO pushy.	1/21/2009
Q: I am coming out of a marriage. I have been seperated now for a year and finally have met someone I ... A: You push because you're insecure. You're hoping that by him answering these questions, it'll give ...
question	1/21/2009
Q: There was this guy I was interested in and he likes me back, I know he likes me because he told all ... A: I think he's a coward and is hoping to rely on his reputation (not reality) to get you to do all his ...
why does he still do this...?	1/21/2009
Q: I was with this guy a short time during the summer,he was a total well,jerk,manipulator....He did ... A: What are you really asking me here? Do you really want me to read his mind and tell you what he's ...
Confused by mixed signals	1/20/2009
Q: I am dating a man that I have been in a relationship with for about 7 years off and on. Each of us ... A: It sounds like your conversation was more about leading things somewhere, but at least you got the ...
Quick Question	1/20/2009
Q: Can you recommend a good dating site, not eharmony and Match.com. There must be a good one out there ... A: In fact here are the 3 WORST places to meet women: 1) Bars 2) Clubs 3) Dating sites So, you want ...
Not sure where what to do now!	1/20/2009
Q: I have this neighbor who I have liked for some time now. I have asked several friends if I should ... A: Absolutely you should continue to ask him out - and vice versa! Just because circumstances have ...
question of responsibility	1/20/2009
Q: When male (name him X) dates a woman (name her Y) and Y has adult children (22 year old daughter and ... A: So, let me get all this algebra straight: issues = X / Y (22d * 2 + 24s) - E[ex-idiot boyfriends * ...
How to deal with him	1/19/2009
Q: My boyfriend and I were together 5 months and broke up 3 weeks ago due to issues we were having. We ... A: What's happening is that the feelings of loss are beginning to kick in. He's forgetting all the ...
Confused by mixed signals	1/19/2009
Q: I am dating a man that I have been in a relationship with for about 7 years off and on. Each of us ... A: Actually, this is his way of not running from it. He's telling you in his own language while trying ...
Kissing	1/18/2009
Q: I'm Andrew, and i'm 18... I have just finished the third date and at the end, because of the time ... A: No, you can't kiss her in school. They have rules against that. Set up another date with her and do ...
Kissing	1/18/2009
Q: I'm Andrew, and i'm 18... I have just finished the third date and at the end, because of the time ... A: Wait a minute. You've had 3 dates and you haven't even kissed this girl yet? Andrew, what the hell? ...
My girlfriend is avoiding sex and intimacy like a plague? what do I do!	1/18/2009
Q: As a quick look into where we stand I am a 23 yearold guy dating and living with my 30 year old ... A: I haven't read the rest of your message yet, but I had to comment on this: in fact, MOST ...
skipping the dating games	1/18/2009
Q: Neder. My problem is that I don’t want to play the dating game and I don’t know how to avoid it. ... A: Yes, I fully understand what you're saying here. Wouldn't it be great if you didn't have to play all ...
Made a date five days in advance OR the fine line between playing it cool and being rude	1/17/2009
Q: Hey Dr. N. OK, as brief as I can be: I'm on winter break from college, going back soon. Met a girl ... A: Yes, she's clearly interested in you, and frankly, I'm very proud of her for doing these things. Far ...
Monthly cycle	1/16/2009
Q: Does a guy enjoy fingering you more when you are on your monthly cycle or not? A: What guy? Ashely, you may as well have asked me whether guys enjoy sailing or bowling or plays or ...
Is he still interested or just drawing things out?	1/16/2009
Q: First off, let me give you some background information. I met my now ex about 2 years ago and at the ... A: First of all, there are ways to draw men out in conversation without pushing them. You can go to my ...
love, and new relationships	1/16/2009
Q: im kinda new at this whole asking for advise thing. But i guess in general i was wondering if you ... A: I'm afraid your question is far too broad. What are you asking me here, to spend hours upon hours ...
should have hidden my files	1/15/2009
Q: there's this guy at school that I'm really interested in. He's one of those extremely good looking, ... A: Hey! Confused? By what? This guy is a jackass. What's confusing about that? Yes, he's trying to ...
should have hidden my files	1/15/2009
Q: there's this guy at school that I'm really interested in. He's one of those extremely good looking, ... A: So, who cares if they were naked men or women? It's great you can appreciate both, but naked people ...
should have hidden my files	1/14/2009
Q: there's this guy at school that I'm really interested in. He's one of those extremely good looking, ... A: He's slept with all the cheerleaders, is a sex and porn addict? Wow, he sounds like a real catch! ...
SHE DID NOT PICK UP HER PHONE	1/14/2009
Q: So, I met this girl online (match), exchanged a couple emails (1 email per every couple days), asked ... A: No, you shouldn't. It's game over. You need to do these things in the beginning BEFORE all of this ...
reconnecting with old flames	1/14/2009
Q: I recently found an old flame on Facebook. I was hoping to just to find out and catch up but was ... A: When you're married or in a relationship, you're always going to find others that are interesting, ...
New relationship	1/14/2009
Q: I have been dating someone for only about three to four months. We have quickly fallen in love. The ... A: Yes, it's wrong for you to expect your boyfriend to avoid his friends. On the other hand, it's not ...
reconnecting with old flames	1/13/2009
Q: I recently found an old flame on Facebook. I was hoping to just to find out and catch up but was ... A: No, I'm afraid you can't patch things up "as friends". It's obvious this isn't what he wants, and ...
SHE DID NOT PICK UP HER PHONE	1/13/2009
Q: So, I met this girl online (match), exchanged a couple emails (1 email per every couple days), asked ... A: So, here's the problem: you've been trying to hold all your dates via the internet, texting, ...
Want to know if I am being played by a girl	1/13/2009
Q: I've been seeing this girl for the past 2 1/2 weeks. We hang out 2 to 3 times a week. She always ... A: Welcome to a little thing I call the "phone game". Here's the problem: she's acting very distant ...
is this repairable?	1/12/2009
Q: In November of 08', I had a crazy notion to join one of those crazy on-line dating sites. Something ... A: I think you should give it one more try via email, but don't be surprised if he doesn't respond. ...
Is this okay	1/11/2009
Q: I've been involved with this guy for a little over a year. When I met him, I'd recently graduated ... A: Misdirection, pure and simple. Here you ask him for honesty, but give him bullshit as an opener. ...
Catty bitches	1/11/2009
Q: This isn't a dating question. But I need some advice. I work in an office with some catty ass ... A: Hey! It's because they don't believe you have anything behind your threat. I don't believe in ...
might call it family	1/10/2009
Q: I'm 26 now and about 12 years ago my uncle was dating a girl that had 2 daughters 1 of them is my ... A: No, she's not family. You're making the mistake of confusing blood relatives with those that are ...
how do I ask him???	1/10/2009
Q: Last year, I had a crush on this one guy, and it turned into something bigger... we talked at the ... A: I'm always sorry to hear these sorts of stories. I wish you had pulled the trigger when you had the ...
need help	1/10/2009
Q: i need help on question to ask a lady i just met,online who got to view my profile A: Uh, ok. You've contacted me and didn't bother to give me any information. What sort of help and I ...
Catty bitches	1/9/2009
Q: This isn't a dating question. But I need some advice. I work in an office with some catty ass ... A: No, I wouldn't scream at anyone - that's not the way I roll. Instead, I'd look the offender square ...
should I forget it?	1/9/2009
Q: I'm interested in a man and he comes up behind me and runs his hands through my hair and taps me on ... A: Frankly, this hard-to-get thing is the #1 biggest problem that keeps people from getting together. ...
ex-back	1/9/2009
Q: I FELL FOR A CO-WORKER,OLDER,WITH CHILDREN.I SHOWED HER LADIES INTERESTED IN ME,LET HER HEAR ... A: Aha! REAL questions this time! Ok then... The only problem is that these questions are FAR, FAR TOO ...
working while having a disability	1/8/2009
Q: I am 28 I think i am a late bloomer, I have a disability, I have never had sex, I have kissed a few ... A: Huh? Best regards... Dr. Dennis W. Neder President ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~. Remington ...
Relationship In Distress	1/8/2009
Q: I'm a 21 year old college student. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. He lives in ... A: Man! You have a LOT of issues here! The biggest one you're not going to solve - and the REAL source ...
At a lost on what to do	1/6/2009
Q: My situation is fairly complicated. I am 26 years old and met a younger girl. She is only 19 but ... A: God damn it! Get your head on straight man! This woman is a USER. She USED you to get her fiance to ...
ex-back	1/6/2009
Q: I FELL FOR A CO-WORKER,OLDER,WITH CHILDREN.I SHOWED HER LADIES INTERESTED IN ME,LET HER HEAR ... A: I answered this question for you before by telling you that I didn't know what you wanted. I still ...
working while having a disability	1/6/2009
Q: I am 28 I think i am a late bloomer, I have a disability, I have never had sex, I have kissed a few ... A: What is your question? About how to get and keep a job or how to get a girlfriend? These are two ...
Crush	1/5/2009
Q: Well there is this guy that I like and his name is Cody. It was about August 2008 that i realized ... A: Don't tell him that you love him. That's going to scare him off - it's way too much pressure! That ...
My Boyfriend	1/3/2009
Q: Dennis W. Neder, My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 months now. I've known him for ... A: It sounds more like you're the girlfriend of convenience. In other words, when it's convenient for ...
Have I scared him off?	1/2/2009
Q: I am told that I am a pretty girl, I am energetic, well educated, good humoured and I think fairly ... A: I agree. If he was really interested, he'd likely be all over you. You opened the door but you can't ...
should I forget it?	1/2/2009
Q: I'm interested in a man and he comes up behind me and runs his hands through my hair and taps me on ... A: I can't tell you. It would take me reading his mind - something I never learned how to do. Frankly, ...
Cheating boyfriend	1/1/2009
Q: Was your answer to the girl with the arsehole cheating boyfriend for real??!!! you are a sexist, ... A: Well, one thing I'll say Jo, is that when you're right, you're right! I AM a sexist, thoughtless ...
Ex -Back	1/1/2009
Q: A PART OF THIS QUESTION WAS ANSWERED BY YOU PREVIOUSLY ALONG WITH FOLLOW UPS. WHICH HELPED ME TO ... A: I'm not really sure what you're asking me here. Are you asking for an entire game plan? I can't ...
Catty bitches	12/31/2008
Q: This isn't a dating question. But I need some advice. I work in an office with some catty ass ... A: No, I don't think you're overreacting - if this is all true and not simply your interpretation of ...
Should I wait or call her?	12/31/2008
Q: I was traveling recently and met up with friends of the family. She had gone to the same high ... A: First of all, if you met her while traveling, I'm assuming that she's long-distance? If so, forget ...
Moving in together ..~	12/31/2008
Q: I am 20, my s/o is 21. We met when we were both 15 (he is only a few months older than I) and we ... A: Moving in together is a huge step. Frankly, very few young relationships; that is, where the PEOPLE ...
driving me insane!	12/30/2008
Q: Dennis W. Neder, This texting bull is killing me. I am 17 years old and she is 16. I have no ... A: What's with all this texting? Please, PLEASE do yourself a favor and GET OFF the texting already! ...
How would you have used this advantage?	12/29/2008
Q: Yesterday I was in a large modern internet cafe. I was wearing a brand new England jersey with the ... A: You mean "dating/relationship and APPROACH expert", Dennis Neder? I'd first have noticed these ...
General Relationship	12/29/2008
Q: I need to know if this girl likes me. You see, I was texting on the phone with my friend and she ... A: Oh, I see, you think I can read minds! Sorry, I never learned that skill. However, it seems that ...
Have I scared him off?	12/27/2008
Q: I am told that I am a pretty girl, I am energetic, well educated, good humoured and I think fairly ... A: First of all, GREAT JOB on getting close with him right away. Many women try to hold this off as ...
Surprising	12/27/2008
Q: I used to have very long hair and was a very attractive woman. Now I have chopped off all of my ... A: You don't see that your frazzled looking hair may have been a reason that men didn't approach you? ...
phone calls, but no emailing...	12/27/2008
Q: My ex-boyfriend broke up with me about four months ago,I moved about 2000 miles away from him. I ... A: I think you're trying to read far more into this than is really there. The simplest answer is ...
What would Dr. Neder have said?	12/26/2008
Q: I was in a pharmacy shop the other day looking for something to treat a cold with.As I stood in line ... A: WWDNS??? LOL... First of all, GREAT FREAKIN' JOB dude! You used context to create a ...
Surprising	12/26/2008
Q: I used to have very long hair and was a very attractive woman. Now I have chopped off all of my ... A: You look "safe". It's likely about as simple as that. Before, many men wouldn't approach you because ...
what to do	12/26/2008
Q: ----------------------------------------------hey there is this guy at work named Adam that i really ... A: Yo! Lynette! Your parents want you to get married soon??? What the hell is wrong with them? What ...
what to do?	12/26/2008
Q: hey there is this guy at work named Adam that i really like a lot. he is really smart and handsome. ... A: Hey Lynette! Backing away seems by far your best option here. I'm sorry for him on this as you seem ...
what to do?	12/25/2008
Q: hey there is this guy at work named Adam that i really like a lot. he is really smart and handsome. ... A: What's up with all this moodiness? I have to wonder whether you should even be pursuing a guy like ...
he was SUPPOSED to be my friend	12/24/2008
Q: i'm 24 years old, and well, i don't have many friends. I met this guy 7 years ago at university, we ... A: No, you didn't ruin anything. The reality was that he just wasn't (and isn't) attracted to you. Are ...
what to do?	12/24/2008
Q: hey there is this guy at work named Adam that i really like a lot. he is really smart and handsome. ... A: I suggest you coordinate a time when you know he'll be at home, show up there and bang him stupid. ...
Help!	12/23/2008
Q: My boyfriend told me that he usually buys his parents things like coffe and sweets for Christmas. So ... A: First, I think you and your boyfriend need to talk more. Second, you have no obligation to match ...
Does he or doesn't he?	12/22/2008
Q: I'm 23, educated (Masters degree), have a good job, athletic, outgoing, and usually have no problem ... A: From your description, I get the sense that he's simply not that interested. There may be someone ...
what a mess?	12/22/2008
Q: well i'm 21 and she is 18 and we really loved eachother but she is in another school and i will ... A: What you have may seem like love, but for her, it's not. She'd never have given it up if it were. ...
In Need of Advice.	12/22/2008
Q: Dennis W. Neder, Well, i'm a young woman about to hit my twenties and i'm having a bit of trouble ... A: What he wants is everything you've always had - expect the commitment to be exclusively with you. ...
MAN vs BOY?	12/21/2008
Q: So i have a serious question for you. I treat women with respect, but keep my balls, and tease them ... A: Hey Chris! Your answer should have been: "Things and people change. You're not locked into any ...
How to Ensure	12/20/2008
Q: Dennis. I met a guy about a week ago, we talked and went on a first date. The date went pretty ... A: You bet! Frankly, it's too long for guys to wait two weeks for instance. It might be too long to ...
How to Ensure	12/20/2008
Q: Dennis. I met a guy about a week ago, we talked and went on a first date. The date went pretty ... A: "How to 'ENSURE'"? You go buy 'ENSURANCE'! LOL!!! Sorry, I digress... Don't worry, dating ...
my ex and and the break up!	12/19/2008
Q: “I had this boyfriend he is 20 years old and im 17 years old. And we were together for alomost a ... A: What do you do about it? You suck it up, get healed and move on! Yes, I know that seems like a ...
Relationship problems	12/18/2008
Q: Neder. Your answers have helped me a lot in the past and ill be more then happy if you can give me ... A: You "kinda miss" your girlfriend? So what are you going to do, go back and "kinda have" a ...
I am sooo confused!	12/18/2008
Q: I need to give a little bit of history before my question. This guy and I have been in a long ... A: Let's see if you think my answer is "so nice": It seems to me that you are the only one in this ...
...	12/18/2008
Q: hey, my name is sarah and i'm 20. recently i started to like this guy and we've been hanging out a ... A: He didn't do it intentionally???? What in the hell are YOU smoking? OF COURSE he did it ...
getting things started	12/17/2008
Q: i wrote to lots of girls that lived in my area on myspace, a few months a go. and surprisingly one ... A: You have a number of problems going on here and I want you to get them fixed right away. First of ...
Booty Call	12/17/2008
Q: So, I met this guy of a dating site. He is a 21 year old half russian and half jewish. We met in ... A: Hey Marilyn! I'm very glad to hear this. Do yourself a favor however, don't set the new year's ...
I don't want to lose him	12/16/2008
Q: Neder, I've been dating this guy for about a week now. His job occasionally brings him to my ... A: I don't know if you've blown it for good, but you definitely blew it. Let's talk about your ex ...
Moving out right choice?	12/16/2008
Q: Myself and my boyfriend have been together for alittle under two years, he is in his late 20s and I ... A: Yes, he doesn't see this as moving backwards, but forwards - for himself, away from you. First of ...
Booty Call	12/16/2008
Q: So, I met this guy of a dating site. He is a 21 year old half russian and half jewish. We met in ... A: First of all, get the hell off the internet and get back into real life. What you're finding is ...
broken friendship	12/16/2008
Q: My friend and I meet in our freshmen year of high school in Sept. 2004 we have been friends since ... A: I think you should drop him, heal through the hurt and move on. Then next time, don't become ...
how to know if he's really interested or just looking for a way to make them feel good	12/16/2008
Q: I was wondering whether you could tell me if there is any way to really know if a guy is genuinely ... A: Yes, I'm not surprised you're confused. Your question is far too broad and generic to give a ...
Booty Call	12/15/2008
Q: So, I met this guy of a dating site. He is a 21 year old half russian and half jewish. We met in ... A: First, you ARE going to get hurt here if things continue going the way they're going. You want ...
question	12/15/2008
Q: I have been dating my best friends brother (known her for 10 years) for a few months but we have ... A: I'm always against trying to make everyone happy. All that tends to happen is that nobody is happy. ...
how to know if he's really interested or just looking for a way to make them feel good	12/15/2008
Q: I was wondering whether you could tell me if there is any way to really know if a guy is genuinely ... A: Yes, there are ways to genuinely know, but it's not based on a laundry list. For instance, if the ...
odd situation...	12/15/2008
Q: I have a somewhat odd situation. Two days ago a cable guy, well he works for a communication ... A: Hey Melissa! You're not a bother. The only reason you're "horrible" at this is because you've ...
odd situation...	12/14/2008
Q: I have a somewhat odd situation. Two days ago a cable guy, well he works for a communication ... A: Those extra 4 digits could be an extension or an employee number. I don't know, but it'd be easy to ...
Not sure what to do	12/12/2008
Q: "Hi, I appreciate your willingness to offer some advice. I have just recently started dating a man ... A: Ok, let's start with a little reality first: Everyone, but everyone lies. That is the reality. You ...
Help me to put my mind at ease	12/12/2008
Q: Female, early 30s. A man and I were close a couple years ago, and he broke it off. Now I still think ... A: If I understand you, what you want isn't to get back with him, you want to purge him from your mind. ...
Boyfriend problems, should i stay or should i go?	12/10/2008
Q: My boyfriend and I have only been dating a year and 2 months. I do really care for him and I pray he ... A: You know when you have to deliver bad news and you know that the recipient isn't going to take it ...
Want my man back with a compromise	12/10/2008
Q: I've been dating a guy for 6 months. We were inseperable we spend loads of time together. We get ... A: I know exactly why he's doing this. There are a few so-called "experts" that recommend this very ...
Should I be pissed?	12/10/2008
Q: So me and this girl dated 3 months, and beforehand (not to my knowledge) she had "said some things" ... A: Hey Chris! "Making it clear" isn't the same as presenting the expectations through your own ...
The girl I like is my ex's good friend	12/10/2008
Q: So, here's the story, I'm a senior in high school, and the girl I like is a sophmore. Me and her ... A: Frankly, your girlfriend should have thought of that before you starting getting together. The ...
Should I be pissed?	12/9/2008
Q: So me and this girl dated 3 months, and beforehand (not to my knowledge) she had "said some things" ... A: Let me let you in on a little secret. ANY woman will sleep with you given the right timing and ...
Should I be pissed?	12/9/2008
Q: So me and this girl dated 3 months, and beforehand (not to my knowledge) she had "said some things" ... A: First of all, yes it's bullshit that she led you on here. She's all about herself - her wants, her ...
2 years and nothing	12/8/2008
Q: I am 25 and I have been with my boyfriend (living together) for the past 2 years, he is 33. We dont ... A: You have rights in this relationship just as you have responsibilities. Looking out for your ...
2 years and nothing	12/8/2008
Q: I am 25 and I have been with my boyfriend (living together) for the past 2 years, he is 33. We dont ... A: My first reaction is to him self-medicating with the alcohol. When someone constantly drinks like ...
My Past	12/7/2008
Q: My current partner says he does not respect me and cannot stay with me because I lied to him about ... A: Oh my GOD, Caterina! You actually LIED??? Oh, horror of horrors! NOBODY ever LIES!!! I'm sure HE'S ...
Should i buy her a christmas present?	12/7/2008
Q: So. -We dated 3 months, then cited not being over her breakup with her ex boyfriend and having ... A: Frankly, you need to use my (patent pending) "Zero Contact Policy" (ZCP) from this point on. You're ...
He cheated but I still like him?	12/6/2008
Q: I have been with my boyfriend for a month now and last night he took me aside and told me how the ... A: What in the hell is wrong with this guy? He feels guilty so he brings that to you, unloads it and ...
Dating	12/6/2008
Q: my name is Wilson, I'm 25 and currently single. I signed up for Eharmony.com but didnt really get ... A: Yes, I'm not surprised that eHarmony didn't work for you. In fact, this is very, very common, so ...
i like my coworker	12/5/2008
Q: I can't figure out if this guy at work likes me and am hoping you can help. We've been working ... A: Yet again, this is EXACTLY why you need to be NOT using texts, emails and other technology to build ...
a girlfriend's question	12/4/2008
Q: around Feburary I was dumped by my girlfriend, but before all of that, around January, she asked me ... A: Hey Horusdude! Love in some relationships is real and in others, fake. I have no idea how that ...
is there a chance he still wants to be with me	12/3/2008
Q: my ex and i broke up after being together on and off 8 years. Hes 25, im 23. hes the only boyfriend ... A: Oh, sorry. I didn't know you wanted me to write you a rose garden. Genna, I call these situations ...
How to restore a friendship	12/3/2008
Q: Dennis W. Neder I am very glad that i can consult with you, I had a boy friend he was a medical dr, ... A: After 10 years, what makes you believe that he's the same guy you COULD be friends with? I'll bet ...
is there a chance he still wants to be with me	12/3/2008
Q: my ex and i broke up after being together on and off 8 years. Hes 25, im 23. hes the only boyfriend ... A: I'm afraid I just couldn't get through your entire letter. What he did on day 25 isn't of value in ...
He's too romantic	12/2/2008
Q: I met this guy at my summer job, but he lives on the other side of the country. I liked him right ... A: Yes, I fully understand what you're going through here. I get letters from guys like this (and girls ...
yeah.......	12/2/2008
Q: So I just dated a girl for 3 months who had previously just gotten out of a relationship of 2 1/2 ... A: Let's go another direction with this: let's say that you were Brad Pitt instead of Chris. Do you ...
relationship lacking	12/2/2008
Q: my girlfriend and i have been dating since high school and now were sophomores in college. when we ... A: Yes, I can help. First of all, while sex isn't the most important aspect of a relationship, it's ...
Hes to comfy now..	12/2/2008
Q: Although I have been engaged for a year my fiancé and I have been together for about 4 years. We ... A: Boundaries, rules, discipline and limitations - usually I'm teaching this to guys, but it seems ...
What should I do?	12/1/2008
Q: I’ve been dating this guy my mother set me up with for over a month now. He is a really sweet guy ... A: I don't know what the hell your mother is thinking, but in reality, you may develop some feelings ...
Hot and Cold, Did sex ruin things?	12/1/2008
Q: I have been seeing this guy for a little over a month. usually we meet once a week for drinks/ ... A: First of all: RELAX! It's only been a few days - and yes, I know how long that is in "girl years". ...
yeah.......	12/1/2008
Q: So I just dated a girl for 3 months who had previously just gotten out of a relationship of 2 1/2 ... A: What the hell? This girl is setting you up so that she can mistreat you and is using her ...
He's scared of "Love"	12/1/2008
Q: I've been dating a guy for about 4 months now. We're both 22. We met while I was on vacation, and we ... A: No, you don't have a right to be upset. You set yourself up by starting with that dumb game in the ...
Did I say something wrong in the Supermarket?	11/30/2008
Q: A few months ago, I was in a Supermaket doing some shopping when I saw two beautiful sisters looking ... A: No, I can't give you a bunch of lines to memorize. I'm concerned with your success. Any person that ...
complicated story	11/30/2008
Q: my name is josh and im 16 years old and kind of shy. I met this girl(whos name is bree) on my school ... A: You're sure letting her control everything here! If she doesn't want to talk to you, she doesn't. If ...
Police officer giving mixed messages	11/30/2008
Q: Dennis. I hope you can give me some advice on this issue because I have asked a lot of people about ... A: If you're asking me to read his mind to tell you if he's interested or not, you're asking the wrong ...
My girlfriend never wants to make love	11/30/2008
Q: Me and my girlfriend have been together for three and a half wonderful years and I could never ask ... A: You SHOULD feel hugely rejected! She IS rejecting you! Josh, doing all these nice, romantic things ...
i want my honey back. what are my chances and what should i do?	11/29/2008
Q: I'm single 47 y/o dad. 3 years ago I ran into a married women who was on vacation here. We talked. ... A: She spent Thanksgiving with her ex and very likely went back to him. The very best thing you could ...
DO I HAVE REASON TO BE CONCERNED?	11/29/2008
Q: OK So i have been dating a girl for 3 months exactly. I started dating her about a month or so after ... A: Hey Joe! Unfortunately, this sounds like a lot of back-pedaling to me. At this point, time will ...
DO I HAVE REASON TO BE CONCERNED?	11/29/2008
Q: OK So i have been dating a girl for 3 months exactly. I started dating her about a month or so after ... A: Calling that often DOES come off as desperate. You should have called once and left a message. After ...
Relaionship etiquette	11/28/2008
Q: When establishing new relationships in dating is there proper etiquette to when to introduce to ... A: It depends on how "fresh" it is. If it's only a week or two old that's one thing. If it's a month or ...
Did I say something wrong in the Supermarket?	11/28/2008
Q: A few months ago, I was in a Supermaket doing some shopping when I saw two beautiful sisters looking ... A: First of all, congratulations on doing the approach and going for the close (asking for digits/email ...
DO I HAVE REASON TO BE CONCERNED?	11/28/2008
Q: OK So i have been dating a girl for 3 months exactly. I started dating her about a month or so after ... A: You'd better wise up about one thing: EVERY girl is "the type". Given the right circumstances and ...
a girlfriend's question	11/27/2008
Q: around Feburary I was dumped by my girlfriend, but before all of that, around January, she asked me ... A: I'm having a hell of a time answering your question because: 1) it's broken up into two separate ...
a girlfriend's question	11/27/2008
Q: sorry I meant she started asking me 2 months after we started dating. Why are women quick though? ... A: As with my previous answer; this doesn't make any sense. Should you express how you feel? Maybe. It ...
dating for 3 months, always with his friends	11/26/2008
Q: I have been dating a young man for about 3 months. About 80% of the time we spend together is with ... A: I'm not sure what insight I can offer you. I don't read minds so I can't tell you what he's ...
Moving from friendship to a relationship	11/26/2008
Q: Every time I start dating a woman, I get along very well and sometimes go for further dates. I had ... A: Hell! I wish you were even relationship material! You're not even at that point yet - you're only ...
Abnormally high standards?	11/25/2008
Q: I am 19 years old, male, a virgin, what seems to be by choice. I find myself being very picky about ... A: "Moral"? You think your choice is "moral"?? How moral is it to judge other people when you, ...
Speechless.	11/24/2008
Q: Three weeks ago, I purchased bought some pastries and drinks at a convenience store.As soon as I ... A: I would have walked up and say, "I'm sorry ladies, but I'm going to have to write you a ticket for ...
the summer wind	11/24/2008
Q: I'm 30 years old, intelligent, hard-working, outgoing and I have a lot of friends. I'm still trying ... A: Is that really all you think you deserve? A relationship where you can't get hurt "too badly"?? ...
a girlfriend's question	11/24/2008
Q: sorry I meant she started asking me 2 months after we started dating. Why are women quick though? A: Yes, that does make some difference, but my response is the same. Best regards... Dr. Dennis W. ...
a girlfriend's question	11/24/2008
Q: around Feburary I was dumped by my girlfriend, but before all of that, around January, she asked me ... A: What interesting advice! Why not wait 10 years? Or 50 years? Or 12 minutes? Even better, why not ...
Getting the shy lady's number.	11/23/2008
Q: I was in a trendy clothing store yesterday. I saw two ladies in the men's section,where I was ... A: You did everything right - up until you didn't. First of all, kudos to this woman for approaching ...
Losing my girlfriend	11/23/2008
Q: My girlfriend and I went out for over two years when we broke up. We were both happy with each ... A: You didn't give me that impression, I'm telling YOU that it happened. How do I know? Simple: I see ...
I don't know what do with my boyfriend	11/23/2008
Q: my boyfriend is simply wonderfull with me, he does everything to please me, we have been together ... A: The problem is that your boyfriend lacks basic relationship skills. Of course he cares about your ...
Losing my girlfriend	11/22/2008
Q: My girlfriend and I went out for over two years when we broke up. We were both happy with each ... A: Let's be absolutely clear here - she cheated on you with Rob that first time she went out with him. ...
Masturbation within a commited relationship	11/22/2008
Q: I have been with my girlfriend for a year now. I am 36 years old, she is a few years older that me, ... A: If she complains about YOU masturbating, just tell her you need to fantasize about having a ...
how to ask her out	11/22/2008
Q: Hey Dr. Dennis. I bet you get the question about "how to ask this girl out" a bunch of times, and ... A: Yes, I get this question every single day, but then, who else teaches this stuff anyway? There are ...
Masturbation within a commited relationship	11/21/2008
Q: I have been with my girlfriend for a year now. I am 36 years old, she is a few years older that me, ... A: Frankly, if you're so worried about her masturbating, no wonder she won't open up to you! ...
Getting on the same page....	11/20/2008
Q: I've recently started dating a young lady about a month ago, she's 22 and I'm 37. We are both cool ... A: First of all, she's young, so she likely doesn't really know what to do. You may have to show her by ...
Entanglement	11/18/2008
Q: Neder, I've been dating Aleks for about 6 weeks now, we met online and have had a few dates (mainly ... A: Sorry for taking so long to reply, my internet connection is down!:( How can this be construed as ...
Always finding the wrong guy	11/18/2008
Q: Recently I started dating a guy that has chased me for two years. He is always telling me how much ... A: You're totally missing the real issues here: 1) Distance 2) Time First of all, LDR's ...
Things going great. But calls.....	11/17/2008
Q: Ok so i have been dating a 19 year old girl for 3 months, and things are going great. We have, ... A: Man! I didn't get that AT ALL from your message! The most important part of getting a clear answer ...
love	11/17/2008
Q: Hay, im 15 years old and my partner is also 15 years old we have been together for a year and a ... A: There's a great article on my website that will help you. Go to http://beingaman.com and click on ...
I don't know what to do with my relationship	11/17/2008
Q: I am in a situation that I don't know what to do, my 9 months boyfriend always gave me mixed ... A: I'm not Sharon. I think you meant this to go to someone else. Best regards... Dr. Dennis W. Neder ...
relationship	11/16/2008
Q: I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year. I feel like he doesnt care as much as i do. I know ... A: It seems that you're expecting him to react or be in some particular way and that he's just not that ...
Things going great. But calls.....	11/16/2008
Q: Ok so i have been dating a 19 year old girl for 3 months, and things are going great. We have, ... A: First of all, if you haven't met in person, you neither have a girlfriend nor have you had any ...
Unconsciously Sabotaging A Relationship	11/16/2008
Q: First, I am not asking you to guess what he is thinking or doing. I am looking for advice on how I ... A: If you go looking for evidence of anything, you're always going to find it. Your mind works that ...
I like my best guy friend. HELPP ME?	11/16/2008
Q: Me and him are really close friends. He flirts with me all the time. But he says that he doesn't ... A: You can't live with all this stress and you're going to need some outlet for it. If you're attracted ...
Am I A Cheater?	11/16/2008
Q: I'm a 22 year old woman and I am an andrologist. I've been dating my current boyfriend for about a ... A: No. You are not a cheater. Is the person that's on a diet and works at a bakery a cheater? Of course ...
yeah...	11/15/2008
Q: SO i was dating this girl 3 months, and we hung out tonight. Things were going "meh" id say, and we ... A: I don't care what her sister tells you about the last guy. It's NOT YOUR JOB to fix any past hurt. ...
love	11/15/2008
Q: Hay, im 15 years old and my partner is also 15 years old we have been together for a year and a ... A: You're going to have to be a little more specific. Do you want help on getting rid of these feelings ...
Getting her back	11/15/2008
Q: well last year I met this girl over the internet...we became friends as we had a lot in common...we ... A: That was a very long, painful story, but you didn't tell me the most important part: does this ...
Parents Don't Like New Boyfriend	11/13/2008
Q: I am currently living with a man who I met last December in Boston, MA at a conference. He is from ... A: Yes, I think I can help you here. First of all, I think you made a horrible mistake moving in ...
* What should we do??? *	11/13/2008
Q: I'm 20 and my girlfriend is 21. We've been together for over 2 years and are both in college. She's ... A: So, what are you to this girl, just the place-holder until something better comes along? Damien, ...
Am I doing ok?	11/11/2008
Q: So I have been dating a girl for 2 1/2 months, and we went to a football game a few days ago. I want ... A: Unfortunately, you're really setting yourself up to fail here - and she's letting you do it. When ...
Does he really want to take it slow or is he just uninterested?	11/11/2008
Q: First off, I want to say that I usually don't read into things as much as I have been with the new ... A: The key here is to understand that his actions, not his words, are what are important. He seems to ...
Get back with Ex?	11/11/2008
Q: .. Just recently I have had an ex let her tongue slip and she said that she is still in love with ... A: You have a ton of problems here with "going for it". More on this in a moment. Let's deal with your ...
Cheating? Or plan to Cheat?	11/10/2008
Q: I been with my love for about 4 years, engaged for about a year. We have NO issues in the bedroom. ... A: So if you're sure he'd never cheat on you, then what's the problem? Is it that you're really not so ...
Getting in touch with my inner "asshole" & being fluent in body language	11/10/2008
Q: Dr. Neder! Well, I took your advice and dumped that bitch Sandra. Since then, I've been in ... A: Yes, I know DeAngelo (not his real name by the way.) Isn't it interesting that you're studying his ...
Relationship	11/9/2008
Q: I am 24 years old. I have been dating this guy that is 28 years old for about 8 months now. When we ... A: You need to make some decisions here. He's told you in deed and in action that he doesn't want to be ...
Am I doing ok?	11/9/2008
Q: So I have been dating a girl for 2 1/2 months, and we went to a football game a few days ago. I want ... A: No, don't call her again tomorrow. Give her a chance to respond. That means at least 2-3 days. If ...
not sure what to do	11/7/2008
Q: I would like to seek your expertise on an issue. I asked a guy out about 3-4 weeks ago. Initially I ... A: I'm chuckling because this sort of game is COMMON from women! Men rarely play it (and if they do, it ...
Should I get rid of this girl?	11/7/2008
Q: Hey doc, here are the facts: I’m 22 and have been having a blast with my girlfriend for 4 months. ... A: She refused because she didn't believe you. Regardless of what she says about control, she has it, ...
not sure what to do	11/7/2008
Q: I would like to seek your expertise on an issue. I asked a guy out about 3-4 weeks ago. Initially I ... A: I'm chuckling a little as you're annoyed about this. Welcome to what we men face with almost every ...
Can it work AGAIn	11/6/2008
Q: I am 16 and so is the girl, We went out for 8months, for both of us this was our first serious ... A: So what are you going to do with the rest of your life - only go with the safe choices that ...
how to know if you are in love or really attracted to someone	11/5/2008
Q: I don't know if you or anyone knows how to answer this question. But I was wondering, how does ... A: I'm so glad you're pleased with my answer! Of course it's possible you're both in love and lust - I ...
what type of relationship?	11/5/2008
Q: there's this guy at work that I've really hit it off with. We've been flirting lots but have also ... A: My point about exchanging sex for relationships was this: don't do it (have sex with him) if you're ...
Should I get rid of this girl?	11/5/2008
Q: Hey doc, here are the facts: I’m 22 and have been having a blast with my girlfriend for 4 months. ... A: First, let's be clear here - this girl is crazy. That's the way it is and in fact, she needs some ...
what type of relationship?	11/4/2008
Q: there's this guy at work that I've really hit it off with. We've been flirting lots but have also ... A: Just as you said, it's only been a few days. This isn't enough time to establish any boundaries or ...
how to know if you are in love or really attracted to someone	11/4/2008
Q: I don't know if you or anyone knows how to answer this question. But I was wondering, how does ... A: Poets, authors, song writers and romantics in all of time have been trying to answer this very ...
HELP ME OUT.	11/3/2008
Q: Doc,Please help me out. Theres this girl I've been having a word with on phone as a friend, and just ... A: It's unfortunate but you're already starting off here with a handicap. Rather than discovering who ...
you’re hot	11/3/2008
Q: How do I accept compliments from male friends who are not so attractive?...in fact not at all For ... A: You say, "Thanks for the compliment, but you need to be absolutely clear on this: I'm never going to ...
Dating a Professor at a University	11/2/2008
Q: First of all thank you for your time. I am 21 and graduating with my bachelors degree in 6 weeks. ... A: Congratulations on your graduation! With rare exception, I usually recommend that you pursue these ...
making out	11/2/2008
Q: Ok so heres the thing; Ok i have made out before and all, but tomorrow i have like a REALLY hot ... A: Absolutely it's forward. That's the point! This is YOUR date and YOU get to decide how it'll flow. ...
making out	11/2/2008
Q: Ok so heres the thing; Ok i have made out before and all, but tomorrow i have like a REALLY hot ... A: I'm going to give you the world's greatest tool for starting any first date. If you adopt this tool, ...
Not sure of what to do	11/1/2008
Q: Five years ago, I hired this bright, good looking supervisor. She delivered her results well, and ... A: You're very welcome. Assertiveness is excellent as long as you're clear on where you're going and ...
His first relationship	10/31/2008
Q: "I've re-written this mail a several times, I'm simply not sure how to put this all in words. :) ... A: The very best way is to always tell him that "you prefer" a particular thing. In other words, rather ...
What does she really mean?	10/29/2008
Q: Neder, I've dated this woman named Sandra twice and it appear that we have really good chemistry. ... A: You want to be friends with her? Really? Geraint, what in the hell are you thinking??? Frankly, I'd ...
His first relationship	10/29/2008
Q: There is no problem about the sex, I'm talking about the whole relationship in general :) A: Is this is regards to a previous question you've asked me? If so, you're going to need to copy the ...
Cancellation, update.	10/29/2008
Q: So I was the guy who said the girl cancelled on me an hour before our date because she was sick. We ... A: Hey Elliot! Would you please ask only one thread of questions here? I can't keep track of all of ...
Cancellation, update.	10/29/2008
Q: So I was the guy who said the girl cancelled on me an hour before our date because she was sick. We ... A: Hey Elliot! Man! You DO NOT know how to set dates, do you? Elliot, you NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER ...
Help!	10/29/2008
Q: After reading some of your responses, I had to ask your opinion on my dilemma. I have been ... A: When a woman tells you she can't have sex with two people at the same time she's telling you that ...
His first relationship	10/28/2008
Q: I've re-written this mail a several times, I'm simply not sure how to put this all in words. :) So. ... A: Before I answer, let's be sure we're talking about the right things here. Are you referring to sex ...
He Says He Is Not Ready For A Relationship?	10/28/2008
Q: I've been "on-and-off" with a guy friend of mine for six months. In the beginning I had no feelings ... A: As short as it was, this was a hard letter to read because everything in it is "quoted" meaning I ...
Not sure of what to do	10/27/2008
Q: Five years ago, I hired this bright, good looking supervisor. She delivered her results well, and ... A: Something you probably don't know is that her abusive reactions to you personally and professionally ...
Cancellation, update.	10/27/2008
Q: So I was the guy who said the girl cancelled on me an hour before our date because she was sick. We ... A: That "mediocre" line will come off well if you say it in jest, but don't smile; somewhat cocky. I ...
I am over it, but not completely?	10/27/2008
Q: Neder, I am a 23years old girl that is questioning myself about the way I feel. I somehow cannot ... A: All of this guilt you're feeling is self-inflicted. It's not coming from outside at all, but you ...
guy question	10/27/2008
Q: In order to get to my question, I feel that I have to give you some background info, so here goes. . ... A: Actually, giving him your digits was a good thing. You were obviously interested in him and he in ...
Cancellation, update.	10/26/2008
Q: So I was the guy who said the girl cancelled on me an hour before our date because she was sick. We ... A: Standing up for yourself and getting the respect and consideration you deserve never comes off as ...
so she isnt my girlfriend yet.......should i be concerned?	10/25/2008
Q: So me and this girl have been on 12ish dates. About 4 dates in at the end of the date she would go ... A: No. Treat this as the lie that it is. Don't hold her feet to the fire on it either however. Just ...
Long Distance Relationship. Should I wait or let it go?	10/25/2008
Q: I am new to this so im sorry if it is a reoccurring thread. My girlfriend and I recently broke up ... A: Tests, breaks, misdirection, long-distance, lies - wow! You two have it all! Andy, LDR's ...
Dating a Widower	10/25/2008
Q: I met a widower 2 years ago. His wife had died of cancer 2 years previously. They were married 35 ... A: Actions, not words. If you don't feel love, it's because it's not there - at least not the type of ...
so she isnt my girlfriend yet.......should i be concerned?	10/24/2008
Q: So me and this girl have been on 12ish dates. About 4 dates in at the end of the date she would go ... A: Hey Elliot! Bullshit! She didn't get what her roommate got in 45 minutes. She was Testing you to ...
guy at work	10/24/2008
Q: I'm female and 22. There's a guy that I work with that I get on well with. We;ve only worked ... A: Yes, you just jump in now and see where it goes. I don't believe in "rebound relationships" - every ...
REAlly interesting question	10/23/2008
Q: Dr neder, I have asked you for help before, but this is a very interesting question that does not ... A: Does he "deserve" closure? Perhaps. Does he get it? Almost never. That's the way it is. Joe, this ...
What's a girl to do?	10/23/2008
Q: Dr. Neder. I am a 27-year-old female currently going through a divorce, and the custodial parent of ... A: Unfortunately, this is a common problem with dating people with children. Obviously, the children ...
Can my guy acquaintance like me?	10/23/2008
Q: So I'm going crazy about this guy who I don't see all the time, but recently I've been seeing him ... A: First of all the grade/age thing doesn't matter. Don't make it an issue. It appears as though he ...
How to get your boyfriend to let down his walls	10/22/2008
Q: Ok this is going to be a long one. My boyfriend and I met on myspace. I had just recently got ... A: The biggest issue here is that his words and actions don't match. If he wanted to be with you, he'd ...
This guy is too nice!	10/22/2008
Q: I am 22 and the guy I am “talking” to is 35 the age difference doesn’t bother me at all but the fact ... A: Yes, I fully understand what you're going through. Do you have any idea how many letters I get A DAY ...
REAlly interesting question	10/22/2008
Q: Dr neder, I have asked you for help before, but this is a very interesting question that does not ... A: By saying your new girlfriend isn't "from where I am from", I'm guessing this is a long-distance ...
I may be falling for him, but there's a problem.	10/22/2008
Q: So, let me start by saying-- I have been on a few amazing dates with possibly the best guy I have ... A: What the hell, Janelle???? Ok, you have a severe body image issue. I get that. So why in the hell ...
Should I end my engagement?	10/21/2008
Q: Neder, I am feeling uncertain about my engagement. I dated my fiance for just under two years ... A: Yes, you should put an end to the engagement. As far as I'm concerned you two aren't ready to be ...
Help	10/21/2008
Q: I'm 19 this year and have never been into a relationship before. I've always taught it was'nt the ... A: You're damn right it's important! Think about this: what else are you going to do in your life that ...
Some tips with this girl?	10/20/2008
Q: Neder, I need your advice with this chick. A little background - I "discovered" her in a ... A: You're at a university and you've only found one girl you're interested in??? Man! You're not trying ...
so she isnt my girlfriend yet.......should i be concerned?	10/20/2008
Q: So me and this girl have been on 12ish dates. About 4 dates in at the end of the date she would go ... A: Repeat after me: actions, not words actions, not words actions, not words If she's there and ...
Should I stay or leave my bf?	10/20/2008
Q: Should I stay and wait? Or should I just walk away? I’m afraid to ask this question, but I think I ... A: If you want to be with someone that will love, respect, honor and cherish you - and only you, this ...
I'm so confused...is he interested or not??	10/20/2008
Q: Neder, After reading your past responses I am confident you'll offer the best advice--not to ... A: No, your sleeping together wasn't a "huge mistake". It was where things were at the time. I wish ...
so she isnt my girlfriend yet.......should i be concerned?	10/20/2008
Q: So me and this girl have been on 12ish dates. About 4 dates in at the end of the date she would go ... A: What makes you think she's not your girlfriend yet? Is it because she hasn't announced it? She's ...
Partner needs substances for stress relief	10/19/2008
Q: Neder, I am in a relationship with an English man living in Amsterdam. I'm American. The guy I'm ... A: You're welcome. "Moving away from" = "I don't want you to ..." or "I don't", "I won't", "I can't", ...
I lied and I am sorry	10/18/2008
Q: I lied to my girlfriend about emails that I sent two years ago. They had sexual stuff in them and I ... A: You totally missed the point. You can neither get nor lose her trust. That isn't for you to earn, ...
* Does she like me *	10/18/2008
Q: I quite like this girl, shes a friend of about a yeah, if even that. We go to college together. ... A: In other words, you've become her "friend". I don't read minds so I don't know what this girl wants ...
SIMPLE QUESTION	10/18/2008
Q: If we have had 10 dates, had a rough patch in the middle where we didnt talk for about a week, then ... A: Simple answer: even a broken watch is right twice a day. In other words, yes, there are rare ...
Is this an ok thing to do?	10/18/2008
Q: So i was talking to a girl ive been dating for awhile, and we had a date setup, then said "oh yeah ... A: Actually, yes. This does a couple of things for you. Obviously, she's going to be wondering what ...
I dont want to push him away, advice please?? ;)	10/16/2008
Q: I am a 24 year old woman. I fell pregnant when i was 20 years old & married the guy( we are divorced ... A: You're going to have to have another talk with him, but you're going to have to use a different ...
Was this a test?	10/16/2008
Q: So i have been dating a girl for about 8- 10 dates. On her myspace she put that she is excited for ... A: Yes, you'd be blowing it - big time. You didn't mention how far away "home" is for you two, but if ...
Mixed signals	10/16/2008
Q: I met a guy over a month ago. When I found out he was going through a divorce I decided that if I ... A: He's not "scared". He wants sex. That's what's "up". You can't get over him because you're all ...
She isn't ready to date?	10/15/2008
Q: First off let me give you a little background. My wife and I of almost 10 years just got a divorce ... A: You say "no" and don't accept it. You challenge her on these things because: 1) It's not reasonable ...
She isn't ready to date?	10/15/2008
Q: First off let me give you a little background. My wife and I of almost 10 years just got a divorce ... A: Women want to be in love - even after a nasty break-up. In order for women to feel love, they have ...
I lied and I am sorry	10/15/2008
Q: I lied to my girlfriend about emails that I sent two years ago. They had sexual stuff in them and I ... A: Damn it Micheal! Why in the hell did you "come clean" on this? Wait, don't answer that, I know why ...
Boyfriend has lost interest in sex.	10/10/2008
Q: Neder, I am in a sticky situation right now. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a ... A: I agree that you have a real problem here, and I think it's more than just him being tired and ...
Dealing with non-calling	10/10/2008
Q: I met this guy a month or so ago, and think he is terrific in many respects. He has almost all the ... A: First of all, I'm concerned that you've been on 5 dates - and he's even introducing you to his ...
Did blow I it?	10/9/2008
Q: In college, I take a humanities course with this one girl, when I first sat down with her she turned ... A: Probably the most important life-skill they don't teach in college is how to create and build ...
DIFFICULT RELATIONSHIP	10/9/2008
Q: Neder, I have been dating this beautiful girl for 4 months, everything has been working more or ... A: I think you have problems. This is all about her, Her, HER. What about you? You see, what's ...
Did blow I it?	10/9/2008
Q: In college, I take a humanities course with this one girl, when I first sat down with her she ... A: Yes, you blew it. Instead of being strategic about this and realizing that her lack of instant ...
DIFFICULT RELATIONSHIP	10/8/2008
Q: Neder, I have been dating this beautiful girl for 4 months, everything has been working more or ... A: No, you shouldn't call her. Her pulling back emotionally is a huge, red warning flag; of what ...
continuous arguing	10/8/2008
Q: I'm christian and i am 16 years old. i've been with this girl for 8 weeks and she thinks that she's ... A: It sounds like she craves the drama - and you feed right into it. What you have to do is to stop ...
Distrust	10/8/2008
Q: I am 21, he is 22, we've been together 3 and half years, and living together for a year and a half. ... A: I can't reasonably accept any "god" that would demand a person put all the emotions, joys, trials ...
boyfriend question	10/7/2008
Q: ok so my boyfriend and i met at a party we hit it off and started from then now we have been going ... A: Yes, it's too soon. Three months isn't enough time to even discover if you SHOULD live together, let ...
I just need some advice.	10/6/2008
Q: This is complicated, so i will do my best to summarize my problem. I am friends with this guy who ... A: I'm in the reality business, so let's deal with some reality, shall we? The reality is that ...
The Quest for the Right Girl	10/6/2008
Q: First of all I would like to thank you for this excellent free service. Not a lot of people ... A: You're very welcome. I see doing this as part of my contribution back to my community. I'm really ...
This guy	10/5/2008
Q: I met this gut about a year ago down at a local stables where i was working. We were great pals and ... A: So am I! First of all, GET OFF THE TEXTING ALREDY!!! This technology is absolutely killing off ...
*** More than Friends????	10/4/2008
Q: I just recently broke up with my girlfriend, it was a sour end and she had just been with someone ... A: Hey! Well, you're certainly under no obligation to believe me. If you think I'm wrong, go make a ...
*** More than Friends????	10/4/2008
Q: I just recently broke up with my girlfriend, it was a sour end and she had just been with someone ... A: Unfortunately, this girl isn't show any real interest in you - just in your attention and support. ...
Hello	10/3/2008
Q: I would really like to know, how to get my boyfriend to really figure out what he wants to do? To ... A: You may be ready for marriage, but he's obviously not! The first thing to consider is this: ...
Trusting him again and again.	10/2/2008
Q: Let me start by saying we've only been dating for a year and he's 29 and I'm 22. Our relationship ... A: Issues of trust are rarely about the other person. They are about ourselves. Consider this: if you ...
Confused as to how I feel about my long term boyfriend.	9/30/2008
Q: I have been with my boyfriend since I was 17 and he was my first boyfriend, and the first person I ... A: You're welcome. My point about the trial breakup was that by saying this to him, you are also ...
Confused as to how I feel about my long term boyfriend.	9/30/2008
Q: I have been with my boyfriend since I was 17 and he was my first boyfriend, and the first person I ... A: This often happens in relationships - one person starts to (or continues to) grow and the other ...
AM I DONE FOR? She accepted a date...	9/29/2008
Q: So when a girl and I hung out (it was like the 5th date) I teased her wayyyy too much and did the ... A: Hey Joe! Yes, you do not want to call the day of a date. Don't worry about her, the reason she ...
seal the deal	9/28/2008
Q: hey doc. i recently met a woman on the train and we sort of hit it off. we ended up at a bar and ... A: Hey Mike! NEXT!!! Best regards... Dr. Dennis W. Neder President ...
GEEK!? hahaha id rather be one then a sloot.	9/27/2008
Q: So Dr. Neder, I have a question about why a girl would say something about me, a couple months after ... A: Oh, I get it - you think I can read minds. Sorry Tim, I never learned that skill. You might have to ...
seal the deal	9/27/2008
Q: hey doc. i recently met a woman on the train and we sort of hit it off. we ended up at a bar and ... A: Probably, but you should verify that rather than asking me. Ask her out and put the moves on her ...
AM I DONE FOR? She accepted a date...	9/26/2008
Q: So when a girl and I hung out (it was like the 5th date) I teased her wayyyy too much and did the ... A: Yes, canceling on her puts some of the power back in your hands, but it's like digging a hole that ...
flirting	9/25/2008
Q: I logged into facebook and visited my boyfriends profile.However it came as a shock that he is ... A: It depends on what you mean by "flirting". Is he simply communicating with these women or is he ...
Dating...	9/25/2008
Q: I am talking to a gal whom is in London. I am in Sydney. She will be coming back to Sydney in around ... A: First of all, let's deal with this: is she coming back to Sydney for good or is it just a visit? If ...
AM I DONE FOR? She accepted a date...	9/24/2008
Q: So when a girl and I hung out (it was like the 5th date) I teased her wayyyy too much and did the ... A: Wait a minute - did you "hang out" or was this a date? They are totally and completely different ...
Alcoholic, Casually Dating...now best friend?	9/23/2008
Q: I am 30, he's 31 and an alcoholic. We've been dating for 4 months and when I met him, he was 4 ... A: Yes, you are going to end up getting hurt. Here's the reality: this guy is an addictive personality. ...
...	9/22/2008
Q: So Dr. Neder I listened to your advice and after a girl cancelled on me 6 hours before a date, I put ... A: Yo! Rodney! Back-tracking, changing your mind, not living by your standards. All you're really ...
What am I doing wrong?	9/22/2008
Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for just over 4 years. I am almost 24 and he is 30. We moved ... A: Frankly, I don't agree that he loves you. You don't put people you really love through this by ...
...	9/21/2008
Q: So Dr. Neder I listened to your advice and after a girl cancelled on me 6 hours before a date, I put ... A: Hey Rodney! Fuck! Dude, you're all over the place here because you don't have a plan or a ...
...	9/20/2008
Q: So Dr. Neder I listened to your advice and after a girl cancelled on me 6 hours before a date, I put ... A: Yes, this is a very different thing. You've established a basis to work from - that you won't ...
What am I doing wrong?	9/19/2008
Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for just over 4 years. I am almost 24 and he is 30. We moved ... A: You have a real problem on your hands here and you're going to need to get it fixed once and for all ...
Love	9/19/2008
Q: I Have been dating this Amazing girl for almost a year now. I fell in love with her at about 4 ... A: This is absolutely normal. Let me explain: Love isn't one thing - it's actually many, many things. ...
Your Response to a Question	9/17/2008
Q: I am actually curious about a reply you gave to a question as to why good looking men end up with ... A: Hey Lex! "Riled up"? You haven't read too many of my answers here if you think this is "riled up". ...
Your Response to a Question	9/17/2008
Q: I am actually curious about a reply you gave to a question as to why good looking men end up with ... A: I'm sure you do believe all of this! It is just like a writer from the 70's claimed, "Nixon won the ...
Your Response to a Question	9/16/2008
Q: I am actually curious about a reply you gave to a question as to why good looking men end up with ... A: I'm afraid I don't remember the specific response you're asking about as I answer so many of these ...
so did i screw up	9/15/2008
Q: So i told a girl we were hanging out the following day. She agreed (she is really into me and even ... A: Hey Rodney! Trying to go back and fix the damage you've done is almost always the worst - and ...
so did i screw up	9/15/2008
Q: So i told a girl we were hanging out the following day. She agreed (she is really into me and even ... A: You started off with a strong posture (although you didn't set the date correctly in the first place ...
Things are changing	9/15/2008
Q: I'm having problems with my boyfriend. I'm just not happy. He seems different. I can tell that ... A: You want me to help you with so little information? I have no idea what the problem even is! You're ...
Cat toy	9/14/2008
Q: so i hear a lot of this from people, dating is like a game to girls and the best reference is, girls ... A: This is one of the most important reasons to avoid "one-itis" - that disease you get where you focus ...
Method	9/14/2008
Q: Hey doc. whats the best way to make your intentions for sex known to a girl with out scaring her ... A: Don't "hang out". Go on real dates. Treat her like a girlfriend. Kiss her, hold her hand, etc. Best ...
Method	9/14/2008
Q: Hey doc. whats the best way to make your intentions for sex known to a girl with out scaring her ... A: The best way is don't do it. Do you seriously think she doesn't know you're interested in sex? Of ...
so did i screw up	9/13/2008
Q: So i told a girl we were hanging out the following day. She agreed (she is really into me and even ... A: Yes. Best regards... Dr. Dennis W. Neder President ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~. Remington ...
Is it cool to see her two days in a row?	9/12/2008
Q: So i met a girl whom i hung out with once. Then we saw each other 4 days later. Next i saw her 5 ... A: Since you're treating her like your friend by "hanging out" rather than being a man and actually ...
question about this girl that i might hang out with	9/12/2008
Q: There is a girl that used to be in my biology class and i had a crush on her but I never talked to ... A: Hey Tom! 1) Don't ask her to hang out. That's the point. You're trying to do this to make it not ...
Co-worker situation	9/11/2008
Q: How should I ask my ex-co worker out?, I only got to say hi once! I only worked at this place for a ... A: That subpoena idea is a cute one and might actually work. You have a number of other options: I'm ...
ex boyfriend	9/10/2008
Q: ok...me and my ex boyfriend had been goin out for over a year we were very close but we fought alot ... A: One question to ask is, now that you and he are broken up, is he dating her? That will answer your ...
update	9/6/2008
Q: On wednesday i went out with a girl and we had a great time, closed with a kiss and she was happy ... A: You're being very rude for not responding to her messages. Is that really the foundation you want to ...
When should i call this fine young lady	9/5/2008
Q: On wednesday i went out with a girl and we had a great time, closed with a kiss and she was happy ... A: You should have responded to the email within 24 hours. Not doing so was rude on your part and just ...
How do I speak to him?	9/4/2008
Q: Been dating a man that just seems to want everything his way. I have tried to overlook it, let it ... A: Yes, I appreciate that this isn't about individual instances, it's about a pattern - and then, the ...
flake....did i handle it properly?	9/3/2008
Q: so i had plans with a girl to meet her at a restaurant at 8 tonight, and she flaked. When i got home ... A: To be honest, I didn't bother reading this exchange between you two. It doesn't matter and I'm not ...
How do I speak to him?	9/2/2008
Q: Been dating a man that just seems to want everything his way. I have tried to overlook it, let it ... A: I don't know - you two sound perfect for each other. He's a self-centered ego maniac and you're a ...
Controlling mother	9/1/2008
Q: I met a seemingly nice girl last week and found out she likes me alot (but I'd like to get to know ... A: You didn't say why your mother is giving you all this grief over this girl and that probably makes ...
blah	8/31/2008
Q: hey. there is a girl that i met through work. the day we met we hung out after work and then she ... A: Absolutely! Or you should have taken her home before she got drunk. Or you should have started a ...
blah	8/31/2008
Q: hey. there is a girl that i met through work. the day we met we hung out after work and then she ... A: There is only one answer to the "LBFs""Absolutely not. No way. No thank you. I already have enough ...
ok	8/30/2008
Q: Actually there are 1001 reasons why, and I'm not going to go into all of them. Ultimately, you ... A: Hey Joe! "One last question", eh??? Joe, you're trying to do a "progressive". The reality is that ...
So did i blow it?	8/29/2008
Q: So this is about a girl who found my on facebook and asked if we could talk (she probably found me ... A: Yo! Joe! Actually there are 1001 reasons why, and I'm not going to go into all of them. ...
what should i do?	8/29/2008
Q: Basically after me and my ex broke up i met this guy. I think it was a rebound type of thing. A ... A: WHAT THE FUCK????? You're trying for a baby now??? Are you out of your damn mind???? How fucking ...
So did i blow it?	8/28/2008
Q: So this is about a girl who found my on facebook and asked if we could talk (she probably found me ... A: Hey Joe! Sure, she may not be - 20% chance - but she set you up to be screwed with and you fell for ...
So did i blow it?	8/28/2008
Q: So this is about a girl who found my on facebook and asked if we could talk (she probably found me ... A: No, it doesn't sound like that to me at all. It sounds like she's trying to screw with you and to ...
Breaking off an abusive relationship	8/28/2008
Q: Neder. I have been in a relationship for about a year and a half with a verbally and sometimes ... A: Ok, I agree. So what are you asking me here that you don't already know? Best regards... Dr. ...
...	8/27/2008
Q: Yes, I am 5'8, 140 pounds, very slender and very toned. Many women are not attracted to me and call ... A: Both women and men have some look issues to overcome. With women, make-up, clothing, jewelry, ...
So did i blow it?	8/27/2008
Q: So this is about a girl who found my on facebook and asked if we could talk (she probably found me ... A: She's VERY likely to stand you up with some dumb excuse. First of all, that little game of not ...
sex overrated?	8/26/2008
Q: im a virgin who has gotten bjs before,lap dances, ect. From seeing sex in the media they make it out ... A: Hey John! No, I never said that at all. Best regards... Dr. Dennis W. Neder President ...
sex overrated?	8/26/2008
Q: im a virgin who has gotten bjs before,lap dances, ect. From seeing sex in the media they make it out ... A: Let me guess, you were raised by a single mother, right? That's only part of the equation. I'm ...
How do I better handle my frustration	8/25/2008
Q: I am dating a man that is very strong willed and sometimes thinks he does nothing wrong. He has a ... A: Hey Sandy! Then, stop paying the bill already. That's going to do more for your self-esteem than ...
How do I better handle my frustration	8/25/2008
Q: I am dating a man that is very strong willed and sometimes thinks he does nothing wrong. He has a ... A: Yes, I stand by my answer and I'm here to tell you that this is acceptable, and here's why: you are ...
sex overrated?	8/25/2008
Q: im a virgin who has gotten bjs before,lap dances, ect. From seeing sex in the media they make it out ... A: First of all, it's very different going from your hand to someone mouth. The mouth is very soft and ...
How do I better handle my frustration	8/25/2008
Q: I am dating a man that is very strong willed and sometimes thinks he does nothing wrong. He has a ... A: Man! Are YOU going to hate my answer!!! He's right and you're wrong. There, now that the first slap ...
how long do i wait to call?	8/25/2008
Q: so this is a funny situation. on myspace i was on this girl's friends list and she contacted me ... A: Generally, anything between 2-5 days is good. If you go much longer than that, you risk her cooling ...
WHAT WAS THE PROBLEM!	8/24/2008
Q: So i dated this girl whom i almost had sex with (she had her period or something and wouldnt) and ... A: Hey Joe! "Normal"? Sure, I guess so. What does it matter if it's normal or not? It happened. That's ...
WHAT WAS THE PROBLEM!	8/23/2008
Q: So i dated this girl whom i almost had sex with (she had her period or something and wouldnt) and ... A: If you said these things she simply doesn't believe you, and it might be that you're trying to tell ...
WHAT WAS THE PROBLEM!	8/23/2008
Q: So i dated this girl whom i almost had sex with (she had her period or something and wouldnt) and ... A: The problem was all the mistakes you made. You're using texting because you're too much of a coward ...
men	8/23/2008
Q: I met a guy a few nites ago & we exchanged #'s so he called me the next day but i couldnt answer so ... A: Here's why: he doesn't know how to ask you out on a date. He's opening, but not closing. First of ...
win him back	8/23/2008
Q: I am 47, he is 48. We are soulmates. No doubts. But he had been in two bad marriages. The last one ... A: First of all, just because you've both been through bad relationships in the past has absolutely no ...
Doh!	8/21/2008
Q: I have been seeing a new man for almost four months and am completely taken by him. He's smart, ... A: Two words: "damage control". At least you didn't say "no" or try to totally misdirect everything. ...
Mixed Signals	8/21/2008
Q: I first met this guy through mutual friends about 2 months ago. The second time we all hung out ... A: Trying to un-play these games is like trying to unring a bell - very tough to do. I wish you hadn't ...
Mixed Signals	8/20/2008
Q: I first met this guy through mutual friends about 2 months ago. The second time we all hung out ... A: Hey! Great job on becoming the booty-call! If that was your goal, you played it just right. Good ...
Your point of view	8/20/2008
Q: Dr. Neder. I would like an opinion from You. A guy approaches a Women in person and the Women shows ... A: I know, it makes you want to shake your head, doesn't it? This is called the "telephone game" and ...
Sooo.	8/19/2008
Q: So awhile back I had told you that me and this girl had been out on a few dates, then when rumors ... A: Actually, anything you do to move things forward is a good option, but the fact that you're not ...
dating advice needed	8/19/2008
Q: i met this guy on line 2 months ago, after 3 weeks we met up, we saw each other a few times a week, ... A: First of all, this whole "I've been hurt before" bullshit is just that - bullshit. So what? Who ...
Sooo.	8/19/2008
Q: So awhile back I had told you that me and this girl had been out on a few dates, then when rumors ... A: First of all, DO NOT try to impress her! That's a sure way of NOT impressing her. If you work too ...
first kiss	8/17/2008
Q: but we've liked each other for a very long time and this will be my first date at the cinema.I was ... A: Really? Too far? It's just a kiss! It's no big deal at all - trust me! Don't get yourself all worked ...
Is this the end?	8/15/2008
Q: I'm a 25 year old female, red hair, white complexion. My boyfriend of 6 months is 21 he has a crew ... A: You really have two separate questions here; one about trust and one about your boyfriend. I'll deal ...
affection	8/15/2008
Q: Hey Doc I am super affectionate with my girlfrind and get very little affection back. Many times ... A: I agree with you - this IS a deal breaker. Don't marry this girl! You'll be sorry if you do. I ...
the ex	8/15/2008
Q: Hey doc. I've noticed a trend that seems to occur almost every time I'm with a new girl on a date. ... A: This is what I call the "empty restaurant" syndrome. It works like this: Imagine you're in town and ...
She has a boyfriend........how can i make a move?	8/13/2008
Q: Me and this girl have been friends since high school and she has a boyfriend, but we get along great ... A: An "innocent type of girl"??? Wow, are you in for a shock. Trust me, she's no where near as ...
Why were the 2 girls looking at me ?	8/12/2008
Q: I was working out today at the gym and after i had gotten changed , i went to the cafe bar to buy a ... A: Hey Dani! Not only have you asked me this question before, (and I answered it) but you've asked it ...
More than just Chemistry	8/12/2008
Q: After many years, I can finally say that I have found someone who, based on "chemistry" alone, is ... A: Sure, based on chemistry alone, you're perfect. The problem isn't chemistry, it's distance. ...
SO DONT TELL ME I BLEW IT, can you give me a little advice from here on. Thank you!	8/11/2008
Q: So I find this very odd about women. I was talking to a girl who liked me legitimately, and at the ... A: Hey Chris! If it came from you, you blew it. That's just the way it is. You took any feelings of ...
SO DONT TELL ME I BLEW IT, can you give me a little advice from here on. Thank you!	8/11/2008
Q: So I find this very odd about women. I was talking to a girl who liked me legitimately, and at the ... A: You never told me WHY she was hearing that stuff at work. Did you spill the beans to someone? Did ...
SO DONT TELL ME I BLEW IT, can you give me a little advice from here on. Thank you!	8/11/2008
Q: So I find this very odd about women. I was talking to a girl who liked me legitimately, and at the ... A: Don't tell me how to do my job. If you blew it (and I haven't read anything other than your subject ...
oh shit	8/7/2008
Q: Hey Dennis Ok I was stupid. one day at work I left my laptop open (I'm a single straight woman) and ... A: Well then, ok! I never said there was anything wrong with the name "Cecil", it's just an odd name ...
oh shit	8/7/2008
Q: Hey Dennis Ok I was stupid. one day at work I left my laptop open (I'm a single straight woman) and ... A: What a minute. Your name is "Cecil" and you're a woman? Further, this is a very odd, unusual ...
Is it possible to get back with my ex?	8/7/2008
Q: So, I basically ruined my relationship. I was going through a really hard time in my life. PTSD, ... A: So, do you really want to know the truth or do you just want me to pat you on the bottom and say, ...
How much info should dates share with each other?	8/5/2008
Q: I've been dating off and on since my divorce a few years ago. I generally am completely open with ... A: I couldn't agree more - with her. This belief you have in being totally open and honest; while a ...
I just dont know??	8/5/2008
Q: I dont know what braught me to talk about this online. But I guess I am truly out of options? I ... A: Frankly, no education is a waste when it comes to relationships! If you're looking to better ...
QUICK QUESTION!	8/4/2008
Q: this is a hookup situation, where a relationship isnt really wanted or isnt clearly wanted by either ... A: This makes no sense. Is this a response to a previous question you've asked? In the future, please ...
I just dont know??	8/4/2008
Q: I dont know what braught me to talk about this online. But I guess I am truly out of options? I ... A: You change this not by lessening the importance of the relationship, but by taking on other things ...
I just dont know??	8/4/2008
Q: I dont know what braught me to talk about this online. But I guess I am truly out of options? I ... A: Well, actually it IS you, but then, it's him too. The distance is a real problem and ultimately, if ...
Hoe to overcome Infatuation	8/3/2008
Q: There is a lady in my office. Few years elder to me and married also. She is very cute, great to ... A: Here's a great trick to get over someone like this. I call it the "rubber band treatment". First, ...
why are women so vicious?	8/1/2008
Q: this has nothing to do with dating, but perhaps you can shed some insight since you are good with ... A: Hey! So brave are you! What part of the world are you in? By the way, you can take this out of the ...
yeah..	8/1/2008
Q: "So doctor, please ease my mind here. Should i feel sorry about (maybe) blowing having sex with this ... A: Hey Chris! Please do me a favor and simply edit your original question rather than creating a new ...
why are women so vicious?	8/1/2008
Q: this has nothing to do with dating, but perhaps you can shed some insight since you are good with ... A: Trust me, you don't want to date me. I'd just ruin you for any other man and you'd never be ...
yeah..	7/31/2008
Q: "So doctor, please ease my mind here. Should i feel sorry about (maybe) blowing having sex with this ... A: Yes, that was LMR ("Last Minute Resistance") she was throwing and you blew it. I sense that she ...
why are women so vicious?	7/31/2008
Q: this has nothing to do with dating, but perhaps you can shed some insight since you are good with ... A: I'll bet the men don't treat you like that, do they??? ;) Here's the reality: men and women are ...
Rocky	7/30/2008
Q: I met this boy back in october. we go to the same college. we also lived in the same dorm. I met ... A: Let's be clear here - you don't THINK you're emotionally immature, but you're wrong. You don't have ...
Rocky	7/30/2008
Q: I met this boy back in october. we go to the same college. we also lived in the same dorm. I met ... A: Yes, it's rocky simply because you're too emotionally immature to have a real relationship. He needs ...
Trust	7/28/2008
Q: I am 28. While I have been seeing this woman on and off for over 1 year, we have only been seeing ... A: First of all, if you're going to do something like this don't turn around and confess to it! All ...
Awkwardness	7/28/2008
Q: Umm so im 14 and me and this girl ive known for a while have started dating. I asked her on the ... A: Relax. This will pass. It's just because of the newness of everything. Just treat her like you know ...
confusion when first dating this girl	7/27/2008
Q: first off i am an old fashion guy, when it comes to girls i like to take it slow but not to slow, ... A: No, this has nothing to do with being scared of getting involved. What probably happened was that ...
keeping him forever	7/27/2008
Q: am dating a guy (guy A) for like a 7 months- officially we are in a relationship. ive been in so ... A: You don't have to talk to him about this and in fact, you shouldn't. Instead, you need to find out ...
REPUTATION DID ALL THIS?	7/26/2008
Q: So i dated this girl at work. We fooled around a few times, and then once she started hearing rumors ... A: I've already answered this question for you once. Didn't you like my answer? Best regards... Dr. ...
HOW CAN I GET HER TO HOOKUP?	7/26/2008
Q: So i told a single mom that id fooled around with before that i didnt want a relationship, just a ... A: Hey Chris! Huh??? This doesn't make any sense. Why would you invite her out for coffee when you're ...
i love her but i left	7/25/2008
Q: I am very confused and was hoping you could help... I am madly in love with my girlfriend, I can see ... A: The real question is why did she get off her meds? BPD isn't something that fixes itself organically ...
HOW CAN I GET HER TO HOOKUP?	7/25/2008
Q: So i told a single mom that id fooled around with before that i didnt want a relationship, just a ... A: No, give her about a week or so before you contact her. One or even two or three days is too soon. ...
what's happening	7/25/2008
Q: I'm a 27 year old woman. I'm still a virgin (that's NOT by choice) becuase I've never had a ... A: Actually, it's not because you chase them at all, it's far more likely HOW you're chasing them. A ...
HOW CAN I GET HER TO HOOKUP?	7/24/2008
Q: So i told a single mom that id fooled around with before that i didnt want a relationship, just a ... A: If you were gay, this would work great with other guys. The problem is that she's not a guy. You're ...
clingy	7/24/2008
Q: I just started dating my best friend of ten years. We were childhood lovers and now we are 18. I ... A: I don't know exactly what you're talking about here. When you use words like "always", you're ...
AM I IN TOO DEEP?	7/22/2008
Q: Positives: -I never called or texted her except to setup a date -She called me mean and conceited ... A: Yes, that's right. You closed the door without opening the window. Joe, these ultimatums never work ...
Healthy or Unhealthy Amount of Relationship Time?	7/21/2008
Q: I've been in a fantastic relationship over the past 8 months with a woman who appears on the surface ... A: I'm glad you added that "Okay, people can say anything" part. You're right - it's actions, not words ...
AM I IN TOO DEEP?	7/21/2008
Q: Positives: -I never called or texted her except to setup a date -She called me mean and conceited ... A: With the sex, instead of doing something you tried to convince her that she should. Bad form, old ...
WAS I NOT ENOUGH OF A CHALLENGE? MAKES NO SENSE!	7/21/2008
Q: So this is how it went with me and this girl. Within this timeline she lost interest in me it seems, ... A: Hey Elliot! Sorry, I don't read minds. I will say this however, you know a few things, but it ...
What is Appropriate in a Committed Relationship	7/20/2008
Q: I have been dating a man for about 14 months and we are in a committed relationship.I do go out much ... A: If this were a 2-3 month relationship, it'd be one thing, but over a year? This should have been ...
WAS I NOT ENOUGH OF A CHALLENGE? MAKES NO SENSE!	7/19/2008
Q: So this is how it went with me and this girl. Within this timeline she lost interest in me it seems, ... A: "Hard to get" = "easy to be rude" It probably has killed off some of her interest because you can't ...
WAS I NOT ENOUGH OF A CHALLENGE? MAKES NO SENSE!	7/19/2008
Q: So this is how it went with me and this girl. Within this timeline she lost interest in me it seems, ... A: Looks like someone's been doing some study! Good job! The mistake you made however was all of this ...
EX GIRLFRIEND	7/18/2008
Q: So me and an ex girlfriend broke up 5 months ago because she was begging to be my girlfriend and i ... A: A YEAR!!! What the hell???? Why is she putting this sort of timeframe on building your relationship? ...
EX GIRLFRIEND	7/17/2008
Q: So me and an ex girlfriend broke up 5 months ago because she was begging to be my girlfriend and i ... A: So, what are you hoping here? That she'll change her mind? Joe, if you and she have different ...
i like this girl	7/17/2008
Q: I am 15 years old and in grade 10. School has just started so there were many new students coming. I ... A: I have no idea why you're worried about something that hasn't happened - and isn't likely to happen. ...
girlfriend acting aloof, no affection	7/17/2008
Q: Neder, So my girlfriend of 3.5 years just got back from studying in Spain for the semester. ... A: Frankly, I think your patience is working against you here. I'd never tolerate that disrespectful ...
taking a break in a relationship	7/16/2008
Q: My girlfriend found out that her father had been cheating on her mother a few months ago, and it ... A: Sorry for the late reply - my system crashed. She needs a new education. She's blaming her father ...
DR neder a final question! thank you!	7/15/2008
Q: Ok so I did say that. Basicly she was on the fence about hanging out with me anymore because people ... A: Hey Chris! Sorry for the late reply - system crashed. No, it doesn't mean that at all. It was The ...
lame	7/15/2008
Q: I recently hit it off with a gentleman, we set up a date. We were going to eat dinner at a ... A: NEXT!!! Let him date his buddies. He's a rude, self-absorbed jackass. As far as the list of these ...
confused	7/14/2008
Q: I'm a 28 year old female that's in a graduate program. I am still a virgin. I opened my big mouth ... A: I hope so! Just be sure to carry - and use - condoms every single time. No exceptions! Best ...
confused	7/13/2008
Q: I'm a 28 year old female that's in a graduate program. I am still a virgin. I opened my big mouth ... A: Of course, I don't know these girls, but I can speculate pretty easily on why this is so. Most ...
How did I do?	7/13/2008
Q: So I have been chilling with this girl for a bunch of dates, and she started acting less interested ... A: Hey Chris! Actually, you'd be better off with someone that isn't a virgin, but it doesn't really ...
How did I do?	7/12/2008
Q: So I have been chilling with this girl for a bunch of dates, and she started acting less interested ... A: Actually, this isn't about her reputation at all. This is a thing I call "The Test". She's just ...
How did I do?	7/11/2008
Q: So I have been chilling with this girl for a bunch of dates, and she started acting less interested ... A: Let's put it this way: you didn't hurt your cause here, but you didn't move it forward either. ...
women's sexuality	7/9/2008
Q: Ya know this isn't a relationship question. But I have th feeling u can give me some great insight. ... A: Yes, it's unfortunate, but it's open-season on men. The media is particularly focused on this - ...
So I backed off......should i dump her or call her?	7/9/2008
Q: So I work with a girl that I was dating. She gradually stopped texting me because i never texted her ... A: This is a case where a little information is a bad thing. You've obviously been studying my ...
women's sexuality	7/8/2008
Q: Ya know this isn't a relationship question. But I have th feeling u can give me some great insight. ... A: Actually, I've never said that "...I don't like feminists..." The reality is that I don't give any ...
advice on better relasionship	7/8/2008
Q: I am akash 21 years old.I had liked a girl when i was doing my schooling at the age of 16-17.But i ... A: Well, first things, first. Let's come to our senses here. You haven't seen her in 4 years and only ...
impression?	7/7/2008
Q: There was one guy I liked a lot, and I made it very clear that I was interested in him. We were ... A: What makes you so sure that you made it "very clear" to him? Women are so subtle about things - and ...
Is there any chances of us getting back together?	7/7/2008
Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months. I'm 21 and he's 30. 3 days ago, I misunderstood ... A: Think about this: all of this happened because you overreacted and decided to try to punish him by ...
To break up or not to break up	7/6/2008
Q: Greetings Dr. Neder I am Luke and im 18. Ive been dating this girl for a couple of days and it ... A: Ok, so what are you - her therapist or her boyfriend? It's not your job to worry about her emotional ...
break up	7/6/2008
Q: I dated my girlfriend for almost 6 months. I met her when she was a waitress in a restaurant. A ... A: 1. Sure it is - to you. You're using your own examples and thinking she works the same way. ...
so how do i get over this	7/5/2008
Q: So im 20 and have dated about 5 girls. The first left me because i did whatever she wanted for her ... A: You've got a number of problems going on here. First of all, you're giving way too much up front ...
How	7/5/2008
Q: A two pronger: what does it mean when a girl told a mutual friend that she doesnt care that ive hung ... A: Didn't you just ask me this? You can NEVER reconcile what a woman says against what she feels. ...
THREE small questions at the end. THANK YOU! Just bought your stuff!	7/5/2008
Q: So this girl has been acting more distant towards me lately who ive been dating and done everything ... A: You must be a fucking genius! I can't tell you how often I answer complicated questions from this ...
break up	7/5/2008
Q: I dated my girlfriend for almost 6 months. I met her when she was a waitress in a restaurant. A ... A: Let's start with a lesson in communication skills. Geoff, as a man, you (just like most men) deal ...
missed my chance	7/4/2008
Q: A while back I wrote you about a man whom I really liked a lot, but he had a girlfriend back home ... A: For a "relationship"? No, I wouldn't pursue it for a relationship, I'd pursue it for sex only and ...
missed my chance	7/3/2008
Q: A while back I wrote you about a man whom I really liked a lot, but he had a girlfriend back home ... A: No. You shouldn't have stayed away before (and should have followed my advice) and you shouldn't ...
dating	7/3/2008
Q: Hey Dennis, I notice that really really HOT STUDLY men...don't necessarily date hot women. In ... A: First off, women and men have VERY different tastes in women. Women look at other women and say "Oh, ...
Where am i going wrong	7/3/2008
Q: I work at a hospital and i see many doctors. I recently met a resident and i feel head over heals ... A: What exactly are you trying to accomplish here? Are you try to "show him" by not communicating with ...
first time	7/1/2008
Q: I'm 30 years old and still a virgin. Now a really hot guy is very passionate for me, and I feel the ... A: Frankly, you can't really do anything "stupid" when it comes to sex. Just be sure you have some ...
DOCTOR I NEED YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER!	7/1/2008
Q: So we are both 20 and I have been hanging out with this girl for 5ish dates spaced out over a ... A: Hey Chris! Why in the hell did you wait until 2am and not make any moves here? Your timing isn't ...
first time	7/1/2008
Q: I'm 30 years old and still a virgin. Now a really hot guy is very passionate for me, and I feel the ... A: First of all, it doesn't matter if you're 18, 20, 30 or 50 and you're a virgin. Remember: it's your ...
DOCTOR I NEED YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER!	6/30/2008
Q: So we are both 20 and I have been hanging out with this girl for 5ish dates spaced out over a ... A: Nothing has changed at all. Ignore the "friends" thing and just treat her like a girlfriend. Go out ...
DOCTOR I NEED YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER!	6/29/2008
Q: So we are both 20 and I have been hanging out with this girl for 5ish dates spaced out over a ... A: If you want to punish her - go date someone else RIGHT NOW. If playing these stupid games cost her ...
Is that a no?	6/26/2008
Q: I need a date for a dinner party so I called up a guy I haven't spoken to in over a year last night ... A: If you don't hear from him right away, yes, invite someone else. Best regards... Dr. Dennis W. ...
First trip?	6/25/2008
Q: I am 20 years old, and I have been dating a guy (he is 24) for a month now, and a few days ago he ... A: My dear, that is an EXCELLENT question! Particularly in the early part of a relationship the rule ...
Confused	6/25/2008
Q: I lost my virginity to my ex-boyfriend and I going to tell you the truth that I love him.He broke up ... A: Hey PeppaZ! More games! As I said, you're not going to listen to me any more than you have anyone ...
First trip?	6/25/2008
Q: I am 20 years old, and I have been dating a guy (he is 24) for a month now, and a few days ago he ... A: OF COURSE you should go away with him if you want to. Consider this however: sex is going to be part ...
Is that a no?	6/24/2008
Q: I need a date for a dinner party so I called up a guy I haven't spoken to in over a year last night ... A: First of all, no, this wasn't his way of telling you "no". Women often do that, but it's extremely ...
I don't know what to do.	6/24/2008
Q: I'm a college student. I am loving a girl who is from our junior class. I love her so much. But, I'm ... A: Since she already knows how you feel, don't go directly to her. Instead, go to her friends. If you ...
So this girl...	6/24/2008
Q: This 20 year old girl who i have been dating/fooling around with (we have not had intercourse yet ... A: First, take a deep breath and relax!! You're far too worried about minutes here. No, 3 days later ...
Confused	6/23/2008
Q: I lost my virginity to my ex-boyfriend and I going to tell you the truth that I love him.He broke up ... A: There are three reasons why you're playing these games: 1) You aren't emotionally mature enough to ...
Confused	6/23/2008
Q: I lost my virginity to my ex-boyfriend and I going to tell you the truth that I love him.He broke up ... A: So let's see here...if you don't listen to him, you don't listen to your counselors, you don't ...
How do i deal with a crazy ex boyfriend?	6/22/2008
Q: I am dating a girl who has a child with another guy. We are both 20. They broke up anywhere from 4-6 ... A: I agree that you don't want this to come to blows. It's obvious that this guy is pretty insecure, ...
married man	6/22/2008
Q: Hey Dennis, I met this handsome married guy, he has three kids. His wife and children live in ... A: Oh, I get it - you think I can read minds so that I know what he wants even though I've never met ...
re	6/19/2008
Q: Question #1 I'm a fairly attractive women who's really into guy stuff, which is always a plus with ... A: #1 No, unless you meet these girls in a Baptist church. Here's the problem: most people have their ...
SOOOO	6/19/2008
Q: OK so i had a girl over and we did everything but have sex. She gave me two blowjobs, a handjob, and ... A: Yo! Chris! You're welcome and I'm glad you're progressing! Well, the best you can do is to BUY my ...
SOOOO	6/19/2008
Q: OK so i had a girl over and we did everything but have sex. She gave me two blowjobs, a handjob, and ... A: No, you're not screwed on screwing. Just because she turned you down this time means absolutely ...
re	6/18/2008
Q: hey dennis. there is a guy i like at school. he's really hot and he's pretty sexual. i seen him ... A: No you didn't at all. It was just a flirty, playful thing. It came off (if you'll pardon the pun) as ...
PLEASE HELP	6/17/2008
Q: "DOCTOR! Ok so a girl was supposed to come to my house and basicly have sex with me for the first ... A: Hey Chris! This is all part of a well-orchestrated game on her part, but the ending is not written ...
comments	6/16/2008
Q: My boyfriend recently broke up with me. One day I overheard him and his friends talking about me and ... A: NEXT!!!! Best regards... Dr. Dennis W. Neder President ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~. ...
PLEASE HELP	6/16/2008
Q: "DOCTOR! Ok so a girl was supposed to come to my house and basicly have sex with me for the first ... A: I don't know what she's thinking because I don't read minds. YOU told me that she was coming over to ...
PLEASE HELP	6/16/2008
Q: "DOCTOR! Ok so a girl was supposed to come to my house and basicly have sex with me for the first ... A: Actually, you blew it. Let me explain: Your goal of being respected by her is a good one and in ...
comments	6/16/2008
Q: My boyfriend recently broke up with me. One day I overheard him and his friends talking about me and ... A: Let me tell you a story: Once, a farmer goes to his neighbor and asks to borrow some rope. The ...
sarcasm	6/13/2008
Q: my girlfriend and i have dated for around 5 months. i was out of town for 2 of those months, right ... A: Actually, no. If something is wrong she's very likely to NOT come right out and tell you about it. ...
cheating	6/12/2008
Q: Hey Dennis, I notice that some really ugly, fat, hideous women with horrible personalities end up ... A: I don't think you're being mean at all. In fact, this is an excellent question - and one that far ...
grin	6/12/2008
Q: At school, everyone knows me as a sweet, innocent, kind, friendly, fun girl. I'm also a virgin. So ... A: How many times are you going to ask me this very same question? Three so far by my count. Best ...
can you tell me how my date went?	6/10/2008
Q: Ok so i met her somewhere and we caught a movie, a scary one. She was laughing and we were really ... A: Absolutely! That's exactly what you should have done - and you did it. Now, give her a few days and ...
Ref: question	6/9/2008
Q: Good day, What if a woman is interested in you and you dont think it is a good idea and do not want ... A: Look, you aren't her therapist. If she's pursuing you and you're not interested, you're going to ...
Friends with Benefits?	6/6/2008
Q: Could you please help me understand this guy, so confused and really need someone to spell it out ... A: I don't usually speculate on these sorts of things as there are so many reasons why people do what ...
sex and marriage	6/5/2008
Q: I've noticed lately that many men want to settle down, get married, and have children. Even men in ... A: Sure, I suppose that's a possibility too and if that is your experience it bears out your ...
infidelity	6/5/2008
Q: dennis if someone cheated on you. would u ever take them back? ANSWER: Hello oh-nameless-one! ... A: Depends on lots of things. Is that really your question? Is that really what you want to know? Can ...
please help!	6/5/2008
Q: OK Dr. first let me just say that using your advice and learning from small mistakes in the past, ... A: Congratulations Joe! I'm very proud of you for [finally] making some moves to get what you want. ...
Letting go of fear.	6/5/2008
Q: I've been with the most amazing man for over a year now. He's been better to me than any other man ... A: Frankly, I'm far more surprised at him than at you. Why would he hang around if you're being this ...
infidelity	6/4/2008
Q: dennis if someone cheated on you. would u ever take them back? A: Depends. Best regards... Dr. Dennis W. Neder President ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~. ...
sex and marriage	6/4/2008
Q: I've noticed lately that many men want to settle down, get married, and have children. Even men in ... A: That may be your experience, but in fact, according to a recent study, we've had an only 300% ...
Women's brains and porn	6/3/2008
Q: (I'm not sure where this study was done, but I believe it was at Harvard Medical School. I could be ... A: Of course there is. There are also some women that can beat the crap out of some guys too, but ...
SinCity	6/3/2008
Q: I am in love with my boyfriend, but he continuously attends SinCity events and Burlesque shows. I ... A: Let's exchange the terms "old fashioned" and "traditional" with "repressed" and "closed" as a more ...
CONFUSED	6/3/2008
Q: its reali confusing thr is this girl whom ive lykd frm lyk almst 2 yrs.....v dated ech otha in da ... A: Confused? Me too! You obviously speak English and that's what I read and answer in. I don't have ...
Women's brains and porn	6/3/2008
Q: (I'm not sure where this study was done, but I believe it was at Harvard Medical School. I could be ... A: I'm rather suspect of the interpretation this sort of "research", but I haven't seen this study yet. ...
Trust	6/3/2008
Q: Trust is an important part of a relationship as everyone knows. Without it, there cannot be true ... A: Because I always hate getting "obvious" answers like "When he knows he can trust himself to make ...
girls who like sex	6/2/2008
Q: All my female friends go out to bars every night and pick up hot guys and fuck them. They have sex ... A: I think you'd be very surprised to know the reality; as it's far different from "what you see" here. ...
Trust	6/2/2008
Q: Trust is an important part of a relationship as everyone knows. Without it, there cannot be true ... A: Man, are you going to hate my answers, but in fact, I stand by them 100% as being as accurate as ...
stealing a boyfriend?	6/2/2008
Q: I like a guy and he likes me back. We have everything in common. Problem is, he has girlfriend. They ... A: If he's "committed" it's to nothing. He may not know that yet however and this is precisely where ...
stealing a boyfriend?	6/1/2008
Q: I like a guy and he likes me back. We have everything in common. Problem is, he has girlfriend. They ... A: No, he doesn't have a girlfriend. He has someone he had something with 6 months ago that is slowly ...
SinCity	6/1/2008
Q: I am in love with my boyfriend, but he continuously attends SinCity events and Burlesque shows. I ... A: I'm afraid I don't know what "SinCity" is but I'm assuming it's a strip club? Anyway... What ...
Not taking no for an answer	5/31/2008
Q: So i met a girl 2 weeks ago. Im 18 and shes 16. We spent the evening making out. We went on a date a ... A: You didn't ask me a question here, so I can only give you some general information. The bottom line ...
A girl who I love most	5/31/2008
Q: , I want to ask about the girl who I love. We are in the same class in college. She is really ... A: Women are notoriously good at keeping their real feelings hidden. If you're waiting to be absolutely ...
Internet Porn	5/30/2008
Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. Things seem to be great between the two of ... A: Is it the porn that bothers you or the type? What is really going on here? Are you feeling insecure ...
what to do?	5/29/2008
Q: Hey Dennis, I met a man who I think is very handsome and a very hardworking, good guy who was in ... A: Hey Julie! Yes, I'm experienced with relationships. I make my living teaching others from my own ...
what to do?	5/29/2008
Q: Hey Dennis, I met a man who I think is very handsome and a very hardworking, good guy who was in ... A: Huh??? "...but ignorning all that..."??? Then why did you tell me? Are you just trying to convince ...
In love with a girl who is trying to get over her X.	5/29/2008
Q: Hell Dr. Neder, I am a fool. I know it, and I think most would agree. Where do I begin? I hired ... A: First of all, I don't believe in "rebounds". That is a simple, convenient way to explain some pretty ...
dating	5/28/2008
Q: i can't believe i am asking this but here it is I manage to talk to a beautiful women and ask her ... A: A FEW times??? Don't let this linger. Having her think you're too young for her is far worse than ...
Dinner/further	5/28/2008
Q: 1.My girlfriend and I are both 16. We have been in our relationship for three months now,i asked my ... A: I'm not a lawyer and I don't know what the law is about underaged sex in the UK. What you need to ...
Dinner/further	5/28/2008
Q: 1.My girlfriend and I are both 16. We have been in our relationship for three months now,i asked my ... A: 1. Why are you making this assumption about dinner? It has nothing to do with eating and has ...
dating	5/28/2008
Q: i can't believe i am asking this but here it is I manage to talk to a beautiful women and ask her ... A: Ok, let's get this straight - you ask her because you're afraid of making a mistake, not to be ...
Subject: Appropriate Behavior with "friends"	5/26/2008
Q: My question is about friends (of the opposite sex) outside the relationship. I think friends outside ... A: OF COURSE she sees nothing wrong with this! She gets all the benefits and you get all the ...
Pls advise me	5/26/2008
Q: i have a problem which i hope u can help me. i am 28 years old and i've known my boyfriend for ... A: I think you're missing the point here. This isn't about trust (which you obviously lack in yourself ...
How to split the bill?	5/25/2008
Q: Dennis, I met a guy for several times and he paid all the bills, the lunch, dinner and movies. I ... A: I'm glad it makes you feel uncomfortable - it should. The fact is that while men have to pick up the ...
sex and dating	5/25/2008
Q: Sex is a primary, basic human instinct. Both men and women were designed with sexual desire at the ... A: Well, aren't you just full of questions this morning?? Actually, I spent the evening at a party ...
sex and dating	5/25/2008
Q: Sex is a primary, basic human instinct. Both men and women were designed with sexual desire at the ... A: Actually, sex isn't an "instinct" it; and love, are "drives". Humans have devolved almost all ...
mind games or not interested in me?:	5/24/2008
Q: even if she hasn't attempted to contact me herself all this while? Also I know that message will ... A: Yo! Aaron! If she doesn't contact you, you have nothing to work with. However, you told me she DID ...
mind games or not interested in me?:	5/23/2008
Q: even if she hasn't attempted to contact me herself all this while? Also I know that message will ... A: What response? Tell her all what? What message? If you don't copy the previous email I have no idea ...
Comparisons	5/22/2008
Q: I met a man who told me was divorced 6 months. The more I got to know, I found out that he was only ... A: No, I don't think you overreacted at all. I just wish you hadn't sat on it for so long. It'd have ...
late bloomer?	5/18/2008
Q: Dennis, Why do people think that virgins are freaks and asexuals? I'm a 28 year old woman and I'm a ... A: It makes sense, but I suspect you're making some really basic mistakes on your dates. There's no ...
late bloomer?	5/17/2008
Q: Dennis, Why do people think that virgins are freaks and asexuals? I'm a 28 year old woman and I'm a ... A: No, there's nothing wrong with you, but you're apparently making the wrong choices in your dating ...
mind games or not interested in me?	5/17/2008
Q: Good Day Doc, About 8-9 months ago, I broke out of my 5 yr long emotionally abusive relationship ... A: Yes, this is something I write about extensively in my second book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World ...
Dating a widower	5/15/2008
Q: I have been dating a widower ( hes 33 and Im 26) for about 7 months now. His wife died 2 1/2 years ... A: What do you mean he won't see you. You have a date scheduled on Saturday, right? That sounds like ...
Dating a widower	5/15/2008
Q: I have been dating a widower ( hes 33 and Im 26) for about 7 months now. His wife died 2 1/2 years ... A: Define "normal widower behavior" for me and I'll tell you if it's "normal". Frankly, I don't think ...
apprehension	5/14/2008
Q: I can't make THE move. For example, tonight a girl I met recently came to pick me up to go hang out ... A: What an efficient name that is! Now I wish my mom had named me "D". Just think of how may keystrokes ...
Need to know if she likes me and what to do about it	5/13/2008
Q: My name is James and I have a problem that needs fixing. I love this girl in my school named Johanna ... A: I can't say whether she likes you or not. What I can say is that you shouldn't even be worrying ...
what to do	5/12/2008
Q: Ok I have to comment about that facial thing. Yes this guy knows that I enjoy watching porn, even ... A: Yo! Emily! From my experience? I don't deal with the psychotic or insane, and thus, I have no ...
What to do?	5/12/2008
Q: I've been dating this gentleman for quite some time now. He seems really nice, sweet, kind, funny, ... A: Hey Emily! Yes - liking porn is something that most women won't admit, but it doesn't change the ...
getting him to propose	5/11/2008
Q: Dr. Neder, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, and have lived together for one and a ... A: Communication is an important key here and I'll get to that in a minute, but be aware, it's not the ...
my dating issue, please help	5/11/2008
Q: Neder; I am really glad I found you here. a brief intro to myself: I am a 23 year old, Mechanical ... A: First of all, don't feel alone. I get letters every week from people (both men AND women!) in their ...
What to do?	5/11/2008
Q: I've been dating this gentleman for quite some time now. He seems really nice, sweet, kind, funny, ... A: Actually, the act of giving a "facial" is a very common theme in porn. Some guys see it as a power ...
What to do?	5/11/2008
Q: I've been dating this gentleman for quite some time now. He seems really nice, sweet, kind, funny, ... A: Haven't I answered this for you before? It sure sounds familiar. You didn't mention how long you ...
An older woman...do I have a shot!?	5/11/2008
Q: In my workplace, there is an I'd say late 20's to late 30's woman who flirts with me and is in ... A: This changes nothing. You either have to ask her out or move on to some other less-risky (in your ...
ah, asking this chick out was confusing...	5/9/2008
Q: So i wanted to ask this girl at work out, and we had been joking about going to clubs earlier in the ... A: Hey Chris! The interesting thing about power is that you can get it back even if you lost it at ...
An older woman...do I have a shot!?	5/9/2008
Q: In my workplace, there is an I'd say late 20's to late 30's woman who flirts with me and is in ... A: Late 20's to late 30's? That's a pretty wide range! Every challenge in relationships is additive. ...
ah, asking this chick out was confusing...	5/9/2008
Q: So i wanted to ask this girl at work out, and we had been joking about going to clubs earlier in the ... A: "...you should..." isn't a directive, it's a recommendation and doesn't work any better than saying ...
ah, asking this chick out was confusing...	5/9/2008
Q: So i wanted to ask this girl at work out, and we had been joking about going to clubs earlier in the ... A: Yes it's a lie. The problem here is that you weren't clear and specific - and didn't ask for ...
men	5/7/2008
Q: Dr. Neder I've noticed an interesting phenomenon. When I go out to bars or clubs, I see that only ... A: First off, you have to realize that bars and clubs are totally artificial environments, and thus, ...
passion after accident	5/7/2008
Q: Hey Dennis, I have read some of your earlier responses and agree that sex is an important component ... A: Actually, I don't think that's sad at all. It's someone that loves someone else very deeply and ...
I really messed up	5/7/2008
Q: Neder, I really hope you can help me on this one. First some backround. Back in 2004 I was going ... A: "I love him so I can't marry him." Karen, what the fuck???? Just how much drama do you need in your ...
music and sexuality	5/6/2008
Q: Hey Dennis. You seem to know a lot about the subject of sexuality. And also about music. So I ask ... A: The reality is that in some cases, opposites attract and in others, similarities attract. It depends ...
screaming sex no more?	5/6/2008
Q: !!!!!!! How are you!!! Ok...so before we were married...my husband (then boyfriend/fiancee) used ... A: These "olden times" you speak of also carried a much different attitude about sex than we do today. ...
Getting a girl to breakup with her bf	5/6/2008
Q: I really like this girl named Lindsey. We have been close friends for the past 4 months. So I have ... A: My question is what do you want? Do you want to just be friends with this girl? If so, do nothing. ...
music and sexuality	5/5/2008
Q: Hey Dennis. You seem to know a lot about the subject of sexuality. And also about music. So I ask ... A: All people have their own ways of interpreting the world. These "ways", I call "communication ...
screaming sex no more?	5/5/2008
Q: !!!!!!! How are you!!! Ok...so before we were married...my husband (then boyfriend/fiancee) used ... A: I couldn't be happier to hear that your sex life and marriage are so good. It's interesting that ...
advice	5/5/2008
Q: I really like this guy at my graduate school. He is very handsome and experienced with many women. ... A: I've answer this exactly same question for you a few weeks ago. If you don't want to break them up, ...
Dating, For me?	5/4/2008
Q: Neder, throughout the past year, when i would ask women on dates, they would seem interested at ... A: Beyond advice, how about some reality? What women say they want and what they go after are two ...
Communication and Emotions	5/3/2008
Q: My girlfriend and i have been dating about a year and a half. She says that i don't communicate ... A: The problem here is one you're not going to solve. The REAL problem is the distance. She's getting ...
help	5/2/2008
Q: dennis me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and 1 month now,and we are engaged.I am 18 ... A: This is a real problem. You've probably heard that sex isn't the most important part of a ...
I still want her to be my friend	4/30/2008
Q: So I have this really good friend of mine... and she used to like me... we dated for a while. She ... A: You don't bring it up in conversation, you "convert" through actions. First of all, let's be clear ...
When should I ask her out?	4/29/2008
Q: So I have been working with this girl whom is very extroverted and flirts with me alot. She has said ... A: You're on to another girl? What happened to the first? If you're only building attraction and ending ...
showing higher value, and putting ur foot down	4/28/2008
Q: From what I have heard, sometimes when a GF interacts with another guy in certain ways(such as lunch ... A: This really isn't as complicated as it seems. The bottom line to any of these issues is one of ...
Respect	4/28/2008
Q: Do you think it's appropriate for a people involved in a relationship to be socializing one-on-one ... A: You're absolutely right. It IS disrespectful to you and your relationship with her. If she wants to ...
profile	4/28/2008
Q: Hey. There's this real gorgeous guy I know, every woman wants him. His Facebook and MySpace ... A: Is it strange for a guy YOU CONSIDER to be hot to have a girl YOU CONSIDER to be average? No, it's ...
disinterested or shy?	4/28/2008
Q: There is an exceedingly handsome gentleman that I am interested in. He has a very nice personality ... A: Or maybe he's simply fascinated with his own big feet! How should I know what you should do now? I ...
relationship	4/27/2008
Q: Neder, Let's say you (man) meet a woman for the first time. What are some qualities about her that ... A: For me, there are only 4 things I look for: 1) She has to have a large, strong, bold personality. ...
When should I ask her out?	4/27/2008
Q: So I have been working with this girl whom is very extroverted and flirts with me alot. She has said ... A: When should you ask her out? A long time ago! I can't say whether you're too late or not, but you ...
Danger Warning Signs On Dates	4/27/2008
Q: Hey Doc. I went out on a date with a guy who seemed insane. We went to the restaurant and he ... A: If he seemed insane, why did you go out with him???? Really Ana, just WHO is insane here???? ;) ...
relationship	4/27/2008
Q: Neder, Let's say you (man) meet a woman for the first time. What are some qualities about her that ... A: Are you asking about me or men in general? Those are actually two separate questions. Best ...
racy photos	4/26/2008
Q: Hey Dennis, I have been dating my boyfriend for about 4 months. He is a really hot guy who had a ... A: This isn't about time at all, it's about depth of connection. There comes a point in a relationship ...
racy photos	4/25/2008
Q: Hey Dennis, I have been dating my boyfriend for about 4 months. He is a really hot guy who had a ... A: How can you suggest what to him??? Are you asking me how to recommend that he take down these ...
Breaking up - hopes of the future.	4/24/2008
Q: Dr. Dennis W. Neder, My ex and I (both 21) broke up after a 3 year relationship. I am admittedly a ... A: Was this really "thought" you needed after the break-up or was it punishment for breaking up with ...
Girl of my dreams	4/22/2008
Q: I am a senior in High School. I recently started getting to know a girl who I have had a thing for ... A: Simple: let her think you're going to see someone else that is more available. Just because she ...
Hot Men with Ugly Women	4/22/2008
Q: I've noticed something. I've seen that very very sexy men, such as those guys that are typically ... A: This is something of a complicated question, but I'll try to answer it as concisely as I can. Let's ...
Trouble Meeting People	4/20/2008
Q: So my problem seems to be meeting new potential dates now-a-days. This problem has stemmed since I ... A: High school is an artifical environment that packs a buch of people together. The real, workaday ...
snake	4/20/2008
Q: hey. there is this girl that i met through a friend. we hung out 3 or 4 times and spent most of that ... A: Actually, you handled this all very, very well. You have a few more steps, but so far, you're right ...
sounds dykish?	4/18/2008
Q: So I was talking to 2 men (one whom I like) yesterday and they were talking about porn. I accidently ... A: Frankly, what does it really matter? No, I don't think this guy thinks you're a lesbian. What I ...
he needed time; i broke it off.	4/16/2008
Q: and thank you for considering my question. i had been seeing a guy for about four months and it was ... A: You're very welcome. I'm glad you took the first step and I hope this turns around for you. It's ...
FINAL QUESTION THANK YOU	4/16/2008
Q: About > AllExperts Search for Main Menu Ask a Question Browse Past Answers Meet Top ... A: What she means by that "short leash" comment was that you aren't giving her any room to be a ...
laughing	4/16/2008
Q: I'm a relatively shy, quiet girl who is very reserved and keeps to myself. So yesterday all these ... A: Since I wasn't there, it's hard for me to say, but I can guess that you seen so reserved that porn ...
No Sex	4/15/2008
Q: My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 years now. There is not pressure to move to the level ... A: You have a real problem here. Your sex life with her is over and you've still hung in there for ...
THANK YOU....and....	4/15/2008
Q: Subject So Dr....... QuestionI texted that girl the following day, and havent texted her since ... A: No, you need to respond to her message. Not doing so is rude or may come off as having gotten your ...
So Dr.......	4/14/2008
Q: I texted that girl the following day, and havent texted her since and wont like you said, until a ... A: Yo! Chris! No, I wouldn't do that. You've already set the path with words. Now your actions are all ...
So Dr.......	4/14/2008
Q: I texted that girl the following day, and havent texted her since and wont like you said, until a ... A: Hey Chris! Obviously, I don't have a copy of the text to go off of, but from her reaction alone, I ...
Im falling for him!!	4/14/2008
Q: I met this guy 04/14/2007. We had sex on the first night and that is all that it was. In September ... A: Oh, my GOD! You're having your 4th kid and his 10th and you aren't even married to each other?? How ...
So Dr.......	4/14/2008
Q: I texted that girl the following day, and havent texted her since and wont like you said, until a ... A: NO, IT's NOT ALL RIGHT!!!! Chris, this is EXCACTLY the type of pussy behavior that got you into ...
he needed time; i broke it off.	4/13/2008
Q: and thank you for considering my question. i had been seeing a guy for about four months and it was ... A: His ex-wife erased the messages??? No wait - I don't want to know what that's about. Forget I ...
So Dr.......	4/13/2008
Q: I texted that girl the following day, and havent texted her since and wont like you said, until a ... A: I'm sorry but I don't know who "that girl" is and I don't remember your story. Chris, I get between ...
Love/Hate relationship with ex	4/13/2008
Q: I was involved with a gentleman for several years(7) and the result was the birth of my son and the ... A: Let's start by talking about trust, shall we? I'm sure you've heard the saying that "...to love ...
Girl Who Loves the Chase	4/11/2008
Q: Dr. Neder: I have a bad record with past relationships. It seems every time I am interested in ... A: The problem is that you're focusing on the wrong things. You're not relationship-focused or ...
Doctor! im in desperate need, should i move on?	4/10/2008
Q: Ok so you have helped me a GREAT deal in the past. Thank you so much. I am 19 and I just had a third ... A: It's not too late, but you have to repair the damage you've already done first. The line you've used ...
Dealing with an awkward situation	4/10/2008
Q: My friend and I have slept with the same guy...her ex-bf. In my defense, when I slept with him, ... A: Why do you think you need a "defense". I don't see anything particularly wrong with this, especially ...
love	4/10/2008
Q: is saying 'ive fallen for you' the same as saying 'i love you'? do most people interpret it the ... A: Unfortunately, it really depends on the person. Different people interpret these sorts of phrases ...
passionate	4/10/2008
Q: I'm interested in this man. But he has had like a million girls because he used to be a pro athlete ... A: Haven't you and I talked about this before???? pas·sion·ate - /PASH-un-it/ –adjective 1. having, ...
Just Broke Up	4/10/2008
Q: I just broke up with my girlfriend of seven months. Our relationship at the beginning was red hot. ... A: No, you don't have to (and in fact, shouldn't) apologize to her. You didn't do anything wrong. I ...
JUST TO ADD to what i said...	4/9/2008
Q: I texted her after the call and said that I had something interesting the next time i allowed her to ... A: Just giving her more rewards for her bad behavior instead of making her live up and fix her mistake. ...
Doctor! im in desperate need, should i move on?	4/9/2008
Q: Ok so you have helped me a GREAT deal in the past. Thank you so much. I am 19 and I just had a third ... A: "...last minute tour..."??? LIAR ALERT! LIAR ALERT! LIAR ALERT!!! No Chris, it's NOT cool and you ...
Whats going on??	4/9/2008
Q: I have been having some issues with my fiancee ever since she met this other woman. We have a ... A: No, you are not wrong for feeling this way. This is just the early symptoms of major future ...
should i call him	4/8/2008
Q: hey i went out to a friends party and met this guy who was my friends nephew. he asked me for my ... A: Yes, and stop using text messages! They're so impersonal as to border on RUDE! Maybe that's what ...
should i call him	4/8/2008
Q: hey i went out to a friends party and met this guy who was my friends nephew. he asked me for my ... A: When you called him last and he didn't pick up, did you leave a message? If not, then this is ...
He's confused. What should I do?	4/7/2008
Q: First of all thanks so much for listening. I'm from Hong Kong and my bf is from Spain. We started a ... A: I'll tell you what I think you should do, but I seriously doubt you'll do it: end this ridiculous ...
How to solve my grudge against women...	4/5/2008
Q: First, i appreciate you answering my question. I am 19 and the first girl i ever dated i dated for 6 ... A: LOL...you don't sound insane. You're just experiencing what many men do. These are just some simple ...
calling too much	4/3/2008
Q: I have been with me bf for 3 months now, he's currently out of state for 4 month visiting family. I ... A: Yes, this is very fixable. You're already on the right path. Give him another couple of days and ...
The Flirt Who Wanted to be "Hitch"	4/2/2008
Q: I've been exclusively dating a nice guy for almost 8 months now. We've had good times together and ... A: I fully understand your concerns. It's something I have to deal with as well with the women I date. ...
Please Help Dr. Dennis! THANK U!!!!	4/1/2008
Q: First of all thank you so much for taking in my question. I am under a lot of duress, and issues. My ... A: First off, I'm sorry to hear about your mother. Many people will tell you that they know what you're ...
Does she like me?	4/1/2008
Q: I was at this party and this girl i know, who is drunk, comes up and starts to make out with me. I ... A: Why can't you talk to her? Is she a deaf/mute and you never learned to sign? Sometimes women can ...
Can i trust him?	4/1/2008
Q: So, I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. In the beginning I had a ... A: Yes you should be worried - that you're creating all this tension for yourself which is eventually ...
Dating Question	3/31/2008
Q: I have a guy friend that I adore, we both feel the same way, we have good chemistry, we can talk for ... A: No. As many women do, you're trying to read far too much into far too little. Men and women ...
Am I the one with issues?	3/31/2008
Q: I am 31 yrs old divorced mother of 3 girls, I live in Phoenix AZ but travel a lot for work I have a ... A: I think the real problem here is your belief that this is more than just a fling. The problem you ...
Is she still in the like	3/30/2008
Q: Ok, so a girl told a mutual friend (we're 19) that i was cute, we hung out once and she was all over ... A: Good job! You handled this very well. You can't read that deeply into her texting you or not. You ...
Is she still in the like	3/30/2008
Q: Ok, so a girl told a mutual friend (we're 19) that i was cute, we hung out once and she was all over ... A: Neither. You shouldn't try to use text to hold or even set dates. You should do that (at a minimum) ...
I am worried that my girlfriend is bi or maybe even a lesbian... not sure wht to do.	3/30/2008
Q: Well i have been with my girfriend for about 10 months and its been a little rocky. We have started ... A: Ok, let's get down to it: This isn't a problem with your girlfriend, it's a problem with YOU. YOU ...
no strings attached	3/28/2008
Q: I am 18 years old. I have a friend. He's 22. We used to mess around for a while then we stopped ... A: I haven't met a guy in the last 10 years that thinks women that have sex are ho's. That's so ...
guy with girlfriend	3/26/2008
Q: hey dennis. theres this guy at school i like and im pretty sure he likes me back too. cuz we always ... A: Hey Ana! You have to get with him. That means you need to go out with him - alone. That's where you ...
guy with girlfriend	3/25/2008
Q: hey dennis. theres this guy at school i like and im pretty sure he likes me back too. cuz we always ... A: Why are you a virgin? Why are you neglecting your sexual education? No, this guy isn't expecting ...
Reoccuring thioughts f her past.	3/25/2008
Q: Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a few months and everything is what I could have imagined. ... A: Everyone has a past and even if she doesn't turn out the be the love of your life, the next girl you ...
relationship	3/25/2008
Q: im 24 yrs old but torn between 2 thick lines! i ve a boy friend whom ive dated for 14months now,hes ... A: I don't know any of you so I can't say whether he - or you - are "real". Passion is the most ...
dating a man child?	3/23/2008
Q: recently i have broke up with my boyfriend. the reason why is because hes constantly in my space, ... A: What are you to him exactly? Is girlfriend? His mother? His therapist? Yes, you absolutely made the ...
dating	3/23/2008
Q: I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 19 as well. Him and I have been dating for 9 months. In the beginning I ... A: You didn't ask, but I think you're too young to be thinking about marriage and kids regardless of ...
Confused	3/21/2008
Q: I met this guy awhile back we exchanged numbers and would text and meet every now and then. ... A: Hmm...another "please read his mind for me, Doc" question! Sorry Heather, I don't read minds. I ...
I am in a dilemma	3/21/2008
Q: I am a 25 year old girl.I have been in a relashionship with a boy for the past 3 years.He is a ... A: So, who is dating this guy, you or your parents? I understand that you love, respect and honor your ...
Nosey girlfriend	3/20/2008
Q: I am 22 years old and have been dating my boyfriend (He is 26) for 4 years now. We are newly engaged ... A: Snooping through his private letters doesn't sound very "mature" to me! You have no idea what the ...
family issues	3/19/2008
Q: its josh again. i final question. so in terms of our relationship, knowing what you know about it ... A: Yo! Josh! You seem hell-bent on getting me to read her mind. Ok, let me consult my crystal ball ...
family issues	3/19/2008
Q: my girlfriend and i dated for almost 6 months. were both 24. she was looking to get married. One ... A: Hey Josh! 1. Probably because you didn't know how. That's by far the most common problem men have ...
I want to be with her but she's engaged	3/17/2008
Q: Hey Dr Neder. Sorry if this is a bit long. I've known this girl for around three or four years now ... A: Damn it Matt! Really? What the hell???? It's been 3-4 years of this and you're still just just ...
family issues	3/15/2008
Q: my girlfriend and i dated for almost 6 months. were both 24. she was looking to get married. One ... A: Not likely. These are the same things I do when I start dating a woman. I don't introduce her to my ...
my	3/14/2008
Q: i sent a message to u a while ago about my "friend" who i'm interested in. she broke up with her ... A: Hey Phil! That's a good idea. Think of this as "resetting the friendship" and starting over. When ...
my	3/14/2008
Q: i sent a message to u a while ago about my "friend" who i'm interested in. she broke up with her ... A: Wait a minute here. Why can't you get any dates? If you don't know how, then you absolutely need to ...
ldr	3/14/2008
Q: Hey. I go to law school in Texas. My roommate Jay is from Toronto, Canada. He has a girlfriend ... A: Nope. The real question is what business is it of yours? Are you going to represent him in his ...
should I end my engagement?	3/13/2008
Q: A bit of background: I am 25; he is 27. We are due to be married in May, getting engaged last ... A: Frankly, I'm not so sure you need counseling. I think that going to counseling is more to punish and ...
Boyfriend of 3 months	3/13/2008
Q: No emotional ties to my ex whatsoever and have been dating for over one year since the separation. ... A: I'm glad this isn't an LDR. I see so many people doing this these days and it's just a farce. LDR's ...
family issues	3/13/2008
Q: my girlfriend and i dated for almost 6 months. were both 24. she was looking to get married. One ... A: Holy crap dude! This is so convoluted and spotty I can't make heads or tails of any of it. What are ...
Boyfriend of 3 months	3/12/2008
Q: No emotional ties to my ex whatsoever and have been dating for over one year since the separation. ... A: LOL - "Attention Whore" - he must be one of my students! It sounds like you're pushing him for ...
Has boyfriend lost intrest??	3/12/2008
Q: My boyfriend is 19 and so am I. We have been together for over 3 years now. Just about a month ago ... A: That's a pretty easy explanation, but it's not likely to be the case. Why would people tell you ...
are we growing apart and can we at least save our relationship?	3/10/2008
Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and some months. At first we were so close but ... A: So let's see here: you throw your soda at him and that's supposed to "help him"? Man, please do me a ...
sex	3/9/2008
Q: my boyfriend told me when we first started dating a couple weeks ago, that he thinks it's hot for me ... A: Since I don't know your boyfriend, I can't say what it is specifically he likes. I can tell you ...
Why is this girl giving me strange looks ?	3/8/2008
Q: I've just began my new job working in a shoe shop. To my suprisement, nearly ALL of them are girls. ... A: So, you want me to read her mind, huh? Sorry, I don't do that. What you need to do is to go ask her ...
sex	3/7/2008
Q: my boyfriend is into dirty talk during sex. the problem is i'm not too good at it because i've never ... A: This is actually rather common. Many people are visuals and get turned on by viewing sex, and some ...
sex	3/7/2008
Q: My boyfriend has recently been putting me on top while having sex. This is fine for me but I'm a ... A: First of all, I'll bet you're lying down on top of him. That's what makes it difficult for him to ...
I'm longing for it	3/7/2008
Q: I'm thinking of sth but not sure it's the right thing to do or not. So pls advise me everything. I ... A: No, this isn't a stupid question at all. Here's the reality: she's using sex as a bargaining chip ...
Avoiding after sex	3/5/2008
Q: I've been dating this guy (we've been friends 3 years prior to dating) for about 2-3 months now and ... A: Wow - lots of sex questions today - one of my favorite subjects! I'm just sitting here shaking my ...
Living together w/out living together	3/4/2008
Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating almost a year. I stay at his house a lot, but still have my own ... A: I sure hope he doesn't feel the same way as you do. I'd hate for him to turn you down for emotional ...
Pushy guy	2/29/2008
Q: I'm in my early twenties and met a man in his late thirties. From the beginning he seemed very ... A: Before I answer your question, just a comment: he's obviously trying to artificially manipulate the ...
Dating help	2/29/2008
Q: Hey doc. There is a girl that ive been interested in and we do the whole flirting thing all the time ... A: No, you're not screwed but you're going to have to work much, MUCH harder now. If you'd only have ...
New man and his female friends	2/27/2008
Q: I recently started seeing a guy, we have been out on four dates and have been having a lot of fun ... A: I wonder if this guy is bringing you around to try to motivate one of the other girls into going out ...
In a dating rut	2/27/2008
Q: Neder, Here is my issue - I'm 22 years old, consider myself fairly attractive, not crazy, nice, ... A: You say you're "not crazy"? I'm not so convinced! My rule with women is "crazy, until proven ...
How to keep your man interested	2/26/2008
Q: When a woman is in a relationship with a man, say her boyfriend...and then eventually when he ... A: I would guess that the guy that's in a relationship with a woman would be a "boyfriend", so we don't ...
sex	2/26/2008
Q: I have a sexual problem. I enjoy having sex, but it seems i never reach orgasm. It's really ... A: First of all, this isn't exactly the problem it seems to be. I'll explain that in a minute. Do you ...
Inner conflicts	2/25/2008
Q: Neder I have an unusual question or should i say im in need of some advice and pointers. Ill try ... A: "Typical nice guy" - yep! I know EXACTLY what you mean! Interestingly, I actually get thd sort of ...
re	2/20/2008
Q: Yes, I think you are right. I am trying to move out. So the school housing dept is looking for a ... A: You again??? I don't know this woman and I'd never presume to say whether she'll get better or not. ...
relationship	2/20/2008
Q: would any woman be in a 20 year relationship never knowing where the man lives or works and never ... A: Sure - a dopy, stupid, woman with absolutely no self-esteem would. Scratch that. She'd have to be ...
friend to girlfriend	2/18/2008
Q: I have a friend that i have know for almoast 4 years, im 22, shes 20, and at first we just hang out ... A: Ok, so you don't want to ruin the friendship, then do absolutely nothing. The friendship will remain ...
roommates	2/18/2008
Q: This morning I went into the kitchen and one of my roommates started screaming at me, saying I never ... A: No, I think you should just make her life a living hell instead. For instance, go buy a string of ...
Dating help	2/16/2008
Q: Hey doc. There is a girl that ive been interested in and we do the whole flirting thing all the time ... A: No, she was challenging you to be the strong, masculine guy her image had of you when you first met. ...
His Libido	2/14/2008
Q: I have a problem with my boyfriend of 7 months. I want sex more than he does. We have sex about 2 ... A: This is something of an unknown - or unspoken - problem that many couples face. You've no doubt ...
I am having an Affair with my Ex who is Married	2/14/2008
Q: I dated this girl back in college, and things where great, we where extremly close, have a lot in ... A: I love the line, "The girl does have some issues..." Yeah, you think? This g