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General Writing and Grammar Help/RE: Stunning busty brunette, Nika Noire,...

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Question
Dear Ted:

Reconsider the sentence:

Stunning busty brunette, Nika Noire, catches some rays in her naughty bikini and sunglasses and heats things up when she takes it all off!

My question, this time, is the following:

Would the punctuation of the above sentence change if I put the article "the" before "Stunning"? In other words, should I write, "The stunning, busty brunnette Nika Noire...." or "The stunning, busty brunnette, Nika Noire,...."? Please note the commas around the name "Nika Noire" in sentence #2?

Again, many, many thanks for your kind help.

Paolo

Answer
Reconsider the sentence:

Stunning busty brunette, Nika Noire, catches some rays in her naughty bikini and
sunglasses and heats things up when she takes it all off!

My question, this time, is the following:

Would the punctuation of the above sentence change if I put the article "the"
before "Stunning"? In other words, should I write, "The stunning, busty
brunette Nika Noire...." or "The stunning, busty brunnette, Nika Noire,...."?
Please note the commas around the name "Nika Noire" in sentence #2?

*** I think that beginning the sentence with "The" is a good idea.  However, it would not
change the rest of the punctuation in the sentence.

There is a problem with this sentence.  "Brunette" MUST BE the subject of "catches."  "Stunning" is a participle describing Nika.  "Busty" is an adjective describing Nika.    The problem is that the two words do not "fit together."

"Stunning" describes her beauty.  "Busty" is completely different, in that it doesn't describe her overall appearance.  It only says that her breasts are quite large.

I think you should worry about the comma between "stunning" and "busty."  You should decide which feature is more important:  her beauty or her breasts.  Remove the least important word and you have either "The stunning brunette, Nika Noire, catches . . . "  or "The busty brunette, Nika Noire, catches . . . . "

Ted  

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Ted Nesbitt

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I am the bibliographic instruction and reference librarian at a public college. Some members of the English department recommend me to their students. I offer assistance in grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, and paragraph development. My master`s thesis concerns William Faulkner`s tragic novels. I formerly taught advanced placement English at two schools in the Philadelphia area.

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I have been one of the highest-ranked volunteers in this category for more than a decade.

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B. A. and M. A in English; MSIS in Library & Information Sciences; graduate study in philosophy

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