General Writing and Grammar Help/A mess of a sentence

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Question
I'm trying to help untangle this sentence. Have I made any improvements or am I just adding to the mess?

ORIGINAL:
Dr. Webster was an effective, gentle teacher, who was witty, with an irreverent sense of humor, and was considered, by his students, to be the doyen of the Williams College faculty.

MY STAB AT IT:
Dr. Webster was an effective, gentle teacher, and a witty one, with an irreverent sense of humor; he was considered by his students to be the doyen of the Williams College faculty.

Your turn.

Thanks,

Peggy

Answer
Hi Peggy,

Apologies for the long delay.

I would suggest:

According to his students, the doyen of Williams College faculty is Dr. Webster, who is known for being an effective, gentle, witty teacher with an irreverent sense of humor.

Kind Regards,
-Johnathan  

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Johnathan Clayborn

Expertise

I can answer a broad range of questions about both academic and creative writing. I can answer questions about APA format, research and references, essay structure and more. I am particularly helpful in the areas of character development, storyline development, etc. and I can provide authors with an array of tools to help them organize their work.

Experience

I minored in English for my Bachelor's degree. I have also written several books and I run a small publishing company (before you ask, we're not accepting submissions at this time). I have written both fiction and non-fiction books and I have been published in newspapers and written articles for major internet websites.

Organizations
Alpha Chi, Psi Chi, Kappa Delta Pi, APA

Education/Credentials
MS, Educational Psychology, BS Psychology (English minor)

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