General Writing and Grammar Help/a question

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Question
Dear ted,
Please help me with following statements again. If you have any idea to express these statements in another way or better, please let me know.

1- The story narration was so attracting; it pinned me on my chair moveless for several hours, and I couldn't abandon it for even five minutes.

2- I would like you know that you have risen public expectation level with the program, so we are waiting to listen to such series again and again.

3- It happened last week at 3 p.m. on Tuesday 16th of March.


4- Please do this favor for me until the process of my migration meets its end on its scheduled time.

Answer
Dear Ali:

Please help me with following statements again. If you have any idea to express
these statements in another way or better, please let me know.

1- The story narration was so attracting; it pinned me on my chair moveless for
several hours, and I couldn't abandon it for even five minutes.

*** I am going to suggest some ways of revising your sentences.  There are many way to rewrite these sentences, but I will give you the ways that I think are best.

*** The story's narration was so attractive, that I couldn't stop reading for even five minutes.  I was pinned motionless to my chair.  [I chose the adjective "attractive" instead of the participle "attracting."

2- I would like you know that you have risen public expectation level with the
program, so we are waiting to listen to such series again and again.

*** Everything is good in sentence #2, except for the word "risen."  "I would like you to know that you have RAISED [or HEIGHTENED] THE public expectation level . . . . "



3- It happened last week at 3 p.m. on Tuesday 16th of March.

*** It seems that every country or region has its own way of expressing the time and date.  I find nothing wrong with what you have written.  Here is another version:  It happened at 3 p.m. this past Tuesday, March 16.


4- Please do this favor for me until the process of my migration meets its end
on its scheduled time

*** Ali, I don't understand "the process of my migration."  It sounds to me like you are moving somewhere.  If my interpretation is correct, you can write "Please do this favor for me until my moving ends on its scheduled time.

*** IF I am NOT correct, please send me this sentence again, with a little more explanation of what you are saying.

Ted

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Ted Nesbitt

Expertise

I am the bibliographic instruction and reference librarian at a public college. Some members of the English department recommend me to their students. I offer assistance in grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, and paragraph development. My master`s thesis concerns William Faulkner`s tragic novels. I formerly taught advanced placement English at two schools in the Philadelphia area.

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I have been one of the highest-ranked volunteers in this category for more than a decade.

Education/Credentials
B. A. and M. A in English; MSIS in Library & Information Sciences; graduate study in philosophy

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