General Writing and Grammar Help/Of tales and souls

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Question
Dear Ted:

Would you please revise the following tale?

She's ben known for a long time as "lost soul keeper."

She wanders in the darkness since the dawn of time.

It's said that every lost soul who cannot find peace she approaches /gets in touch with and all of sudden every pain and suffering vanishes......

It's her burden: she's condemned to suffer for every lost soul.

Thank you very much for the help.

Paolo

Answer
Dear Paolo:

Would you please revise the following tale?

*** I'm not sure what you mean by "revise."  I have rewritten each line.  

She's ben known for a long time as "lost soul keeper."

*** For a long time, she has been known as "the lost soul keeper."

She wanders in the darkness since the dawn of time.

*** She has wandered in the darkness since the dawn of time.

It's said that every lost soul who cannot find peace she approaches /gets in touch with and all of sudden every pain and suffering vanishes......

*** It's been said that she approaches every lost soul who cannot find peace, and suddenly, all their pain and suffering vanishes.

It's her burden: she's condemned to suffer for every lost soul.

*** It is her burden:  She is condemned to suffer for every lost soul.

I hope that answers your question.

Ted  

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Ted Nesbitt

Expertise

I am the bibliographic instruction and reference librarian at a public college. Some members of the English department recommend me to their students. I offer assistance in grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, and paragraph development. My master`s thesis concerns William Faulkner`s tragic novels. I formerly taught advanced placement English at two schools in the Philadelphia area.

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I have been one of the highest-ranked volunteers in this category for more than a decade.

Education/Credentials
B. A. and M. A in English; MSIS in Library & Information Sciences; graduate study in philosophy

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