General Writing and Grammar Help/a question

Advertisement


Question
Dear ted,
Please help me with following statements again. If you have any idea to express these statements in another way or better, please let me know.

1- Norouz is the name of the new year in Iranian calendar, and its presence goes back to 300-400 B.C.

2- I had the watch written with our names in the back.

3- 18 years old is a bridge from teenagehood to youth period. In this age youths are more responsible.

4- 18 years old youths have passed the crudity of teenagehood.

5- 18 years old youths have passed green teenagehood.

6- I think honesty (or being honest) is not the best policy. (OR)  I think being honest is not the best policy

7- We moved the deer to the nearest veterinary with the aid of local people.

8- Ted, when I am asked to speak about my ideal garden that I wish to have. How should I describe it?
--- The garden should be located in the north of Iran.
--- The garden would be located in the north of Iran.
--- I would like it be located in the north of Iran.

Answer
Dear Ali:

First, there are two recent answers I sent you that have not been rated by you.  They will remain in my inbox at Allexperts, until you complete the evaluation form.  Thank you.

************

Please help me with following statements again. If you have any idea to express
these statements in another way or better, please let me know.

1- Norouz is the name of the new year in Iranian calendar, and its presence goes
back to 300-400 B.C.

*** GOOD

2- I had the watch written with our names in the back.

*** I had the watch ENGRAVED with our names on the back.

3- 18 years old is a bridge from teenagehood to youth period. In this age youths
are more responsible.

*** I think you mean "from teenagehood to ADULT period."  

*** At the responsible age of 18, a youth begins to travel the bridge from being a teenager to being an adult.

4- 18 years old youths have passed the crudity of teenagehood.

*** Ali, "teenagehood" is not a recognized word.  Although many young people are "crude," most of them are not.  "Crude" is an unkind word meaning "ill-natured" or "vulgar."

5- 18 years old youths have passed green teenagehood.

*** In both #4 and #5, I would change "teenagehood" and the words "crude" and "green."
A good substitute for "teenagehood" is "teen years."  Another is "adolescence."  If you mean by "green" and "crude" that the young people do not always act mature or that they do stupid things, the words "awkward" or "immature" would be good to use.

6- I think honesty (or being honest) is not the best policy. (OR)  I think being
honest is not the best policy

*** All your suggested revisions are correct.

7- We moved the deer to the nearest veterinary with the aid of local people.

*** Your placement of "with the aid of local people," suggests that these people are living AT the veterinarian's office or clinic.  Here is a revision:  With the aid of local people, we moved the deer to the nearest veterinary.

8- Ted, when I am asked to speak about my ideal garden that I wish to have. How
should I describe it?
--- The garden should be located in the north of Iran.
--- The garden would be located in the north of Iran.
--- I would like it be located in the north of Iran.

*** The third sentence is the best.  The verb phase "would like" actually expresses a WISH.  The other two sentences are acceptable, but the third one is perfect.

Ted

General Writing and Grammar Help

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Ted Nesbitt

Expertise

I am the bibliographic instruction and reference librarian at a public college. Some members of the English department recommend me to their students. I offer assistance in grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, and paragraph development. My master`s thesis concerns William Faulkner`s tragic novels. I formerly taught advanced placement English at two schools in the Philadelphia area.

Experience

I have been one of the highest-ranked volunteers in this category for more than a decade.

Education/Credentials
B. A. and M. A in English; MSIS in Library & Information Sciences; graduate study in philosophy

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.