General Writing and Grammar Help/Double subject

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Question
Dear Ted:

The following paragraph is taken from a British exam called BEC Higher.

Stakeholder pensions are available from a number of banks and other financial service providers, and it pays to shop around. Find a reputable pension provider which is registered by the Pensions Regulator. Although a well-established firm is preferable, past performance is not a reliable indicator of future returns. Also make sure that your pension all your employees can join the scheme as some limit membership to people working in certain trades.

My question is this:

Don't you think that, in the last sentence, the phrase "your pension" shouldn't be there as, "your employees" is the subject, "can join" is the predicate (the verb or verb phrase?), and "the scheme" is the object?

Thank you very much for your kind help.

Paolo

P.S. Ted, would you please check if the sentence beginning with "Don't you think that,......." is correctly written and puncutated?

Answer
Dear Paolo:

Stakeholder pensions are available from a number of banks and other financial service providers, and it pays to shop around. Find a reputable pension provider which is registered by the Pensions Regulator. Although a well-established firm is preferable, past performance is not a reliable indicator of future returns. Also make sure that your pension all your employees can join the scheme as some limit membership to people working in certain trades.

My question is this:

Don't you think that, in the last sentence, the phrase "your pension" shouldn't be there as, "your employees" is the subject, "can join" is the predicate (the verb or verb phrase?), and "the scheme" is the object?

**** Excellent!  You are good at proofreading the writing of others.  Your assessment is correct.  I am surprised that this writing would appear on a British "exam."

Thank you very much for your kind help.

Paolo

P.S. Ted, would you please check if the sentence beginning with "Don't you think that,......." is correctly written and puncutated? [PUNCTUATED]

YES -- Your sentence is correctly PUNCTUATED.  And it is well written, except for the typographical error.

Ted

General Writing and Grammar Help

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Ted Nesbitt

Expertise

I am the bibliographic instruction and reference librarian at a public college. Some members of the English department recommend me to their students. I offer assistance in grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, and paragraph development. My master`s thesis concerns William Faulkner`s tragic novels. I formerly taught advanced placement English at two schools in the Philadelphia area.

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I have been one of the highest-ranked volunteers in this category for more than a decade.

Education/Credentials
B. A. and M. A in English; MSIS in Library & Information Sciences; graduate study in philosophy

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