General Writing and Grammar Help/grammar


Today there was a debate about when to reply with 'I am" or "You are". The example given was a woman told her husband that he was the love of her life. He replied "Same here". The woman tells her husband that she hopes she's the love of his and his reply was "I am". Shouldn't it be "You are" instead?

Hi, Karen,

These are tricky issues since you're talking about both connotation (meaning people perceive) and denotation (meaning derived from standard usage) and the ways they do not always coincide, especially when slang or other informal usage is employed.

In this conversation, above, it would be easier to understand it if we are to view it like a dialogue:

"You are the love of my life," a woman tells her husband.
He replies, "Same here."

This already MEANS: "You are the love of my life." So, really, the next part is unnecessary and repetitive.

But, if they DO have this next conversation following the one above, it would have to go like this:

The woman next says to her husband: "I hope I am the love of your life, too."
His reply is, "You are."

Do you see, now, the reason that "I am" is not the correct response for the second exchange?

Best to you. Please rate my response.

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Sally Ember, Ed.D.


I can answer any grammar, writing, reading, editing and proofreading questions for nonfiction, fiction, literary criticism. I can also help in most content areas except for hard science and narrow areas of history. Specialize in E.S.L. , those with learning disabilities and processing problems. Clarity, fun, and simple answers as well as assisting with improving to excellence.


Many years teaching K - 12 and college-level writing. Degrees in education through doctorate. Published nonfiction and fiction writer.

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B.A., Elementary Ed., social science/language arts concentrations Experience teaching high school and college Master's and doctorate in education Writing instructor at secondary and post-secondary levels, including GRE and SAT preparation high scores on PSAT, SAT, GRE and National Teaching Exams

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National Merit Scholar, 1971 Phi Beta Kappa Summa Cum Laude, B.A.

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