General Writing and Grammar Help/Literary writing (2)

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Dear Ted,
Many thanks for your kind help.
Here is the revised version of the writing as far as my knowledge could follow your suggestions.

The Matrix of Variables

Everything begins with variables (a set of features that make things, animals and humans different). What you are right now is not you. There are a series of variables that are connected to each other and define you. They can change everything. They provide people with many possibilities of being and acting; therefore, you cannot easily predict them and their behaviour.

What we are faced with as a problem in TEFL as a field of study is that variables are many and that they seem to be in a matrix which is rotating while all its members are rotating at the same time and influencing each other. So many possibilities can be seen.

Whether we control variables or they control us is not clear. In one sense it is we who manipulate what we want; however, in the other, it seems nonsense, since if we do not manipulate any variables, then can we say that no variables are involved? They are surely there, somewhere. They are like genes; the only thing we can do is to try to be aware of them and predict their behavior. We are not very successful, though.

We are faced with a matrix of variables not just one tiny one. The characteristics of a matrix give the ability to variables to act differently in different situations. For example, variable A (intelligence) can behave in a way in a research in the field of teaching while the same variable shows different characteristics when it is connected to age or sex; and then it is different when intelligence and age and learning style are combined. There is no way to get out unless we unravel this big, big Matrix. Time has come to change the old method of gaining knowledge through research in vacuum on a special case with a special feature in a special area; therefore, variables and their characteristics should be defined, very difficult, though it may be.

Thank you.
BV

Answer
  Dear Ted,
Many thanks for your kind help.
Here is the revised version of the writing as far as my knowledge could follow your suggestions.

**** Bob, mamnoon for sending your message to the "writing and grammar" site.  I am closing my "literature" page today.

The Matrix of Variables

Everything begins with variables (a set of features that make things, animals and humans different). What you are right now is not you. There are a series of variables that are connected to each other and define you. They can change everything. They provide people with many possibilities of being and acting; therefore, you cannot easily predict them and their behaviour.

What we are faced with as a problem in TEFL as a field of study is that variables are many and that they seem to be in a matrix which is rotating while all its members are rotating at the same time and influencing each other. So many possibilities can be seen.

*** Even though it is lengthy, the first sentence of the paragraph above is very well written [exceptionally well written].  You can help your reader's eyes by inserting a comma between "rotating" and "while."  That comma suggests a brief pause, as you would do if you were reading the sentence aloud.  

Whether we control variables or they control us is not clear. In one sense it is we who manipulate what we want; however, in the other, it seems nonsense, since if we do not manipulate any variables, then can we say that no variables are involved? They are surely there, somewhere. They are like genes; the only thing we can do is to try to be aware of them and predict their behavior. We are not very successful, though.

We are faced with a matrix of variables [INSERT A COMMA HERE] not just one tiny one. The characteristics of a matrix give the ability to variables to act differently in different situations. For example, variable A (intelligence) can behave in a way in a research in the field of teaching while the same variable shows different characteristics when it is connected to age or sex; and then it is different when intelligence and age and learning style are combined. There is no way to get out*** unless we unravel this big, big Matrix. Time has come to change the old method of gaining knowledge through research in vacuum on a special case with a special feature in a special area; therefore, variables and their characteristics should be defined, very difficult, [REMOVE COMMA] though it may be.

*** In the last paragraph I marked a phrase with ***.  What is another way to express the idea of "no way to get out"?  Earlier you spoke of "control."  Do you mean to escape their control when you say "get out"?  I think I understand your point, but I am troubled by "no way to get out."

Bob, I have told you before this that your writing is very, very good.  I am certain that all my Iranian questioners would like to have your ability.  

Your subject is very technical, but your writing ABOUT your subject is quite clear.  

Ted

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Ted Nesbitt

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I am the bibliographic instruction and reference librarian at a public college. Some members of the English department recommend me to their students. I offer assistance in grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, and paragraph development. My master`s thesis concerns William Faulkner`s tragic novels. I formerly taught advanced placement English at two schools in the Philadelphia area.

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I have been one of the highest-ranked volunteers in this category for more than a decade.

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B. A. and M. A in English; MSIS in Library & Information Sciences; graduate study in philosophy

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