General Writing and Grammar Help/How poor can I write?

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Question
Hi Martha,

How are you. I am not a native English speaker. Therefore, I know that my English isn't perfect, and I am a poor writer. I have ,however, written this piece on the topic "Interesting Facts on some Fruits". Actually, I am trying harder in the field of English. I hope that you understand my position. I am not at all asking for any proofreading or editing work. I just want to know that how poor can I write. Here is my writing:-



Most of the people around the world love to eat fruits. Fruits are sweet gifts given by nature to us. These fruits are loaded with healthy vitamins and nutrients; we usually love to have them after lunch or dinner. However, most of us are not aware of the fact that there are several amazing facts associated with fruits. Here we will discuss some amazing facts about most popular fruits like apples, bananas, and oranges. Apple is a popular fruit and needs no introduction. It comes in several different colors depending on their pigment. The scientific name for apple is Malus Domestica. The largest apple in the world was found in Hirosaki, Japan. This apple weighed 1.849 kg.  Chisato Iwasaki, who is the owner of this apple, managed to record his name in the guinness book of world records. Some people prefer to peel off the skin of apple before consuming it. Perhaps they aren't aware of the fact that Apple peel contains two-third of the fiber of the apple. New study suggests that nutrients in apples protect the body from LDP ( Low density lipoprotein). This leads to better heart health. There is another fruit enclosed in a greenish yellow peel which is known for its nutritious values and potassium. Banana, also known as "Musa paradisiacal" in the scientific world, is a fruit that is sold in most parts of the world. Banana is called "Moz" in the Arabic language. Research proves that peels of various fruits including bananas have nutrients in them. Therefore, banana's peel has proven to have healing effects on wounds. Currently, Patrick Bertoletti holds the record of most bananas eaten in one minute. He ate eight bananas in one minute.  Banana plants are considered one of the herbs.

There is a fruit which has its name similar to a color. You guessed it right! We are certainly talking about oranges here. Oranges are considered to be first cultivated in South East Asia. Just like banana peels, peels of oranges too carry a lot of benefits for skin. One glass of orange juice may contain up to 0.124 mg of vitamin C. There are several orange producing countries in the world, but Brazil is considered to be the largest cultivator of oranges in the world. There is some evidence that orange juice may prevent kidney stones, and nutrients in oranges helps to fight various types of cancers.  



Sources:- http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-36536/Apples-fight-heart-disease-cance
http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/records-1000/heaviest-apple/
http://www.livestrong.com/article/281470-nutritional-facts-on-apple-peels/
http://www.tutorvista.com/science/scientific-name-of-apple
www.fruitsinfo.com/
http://thebananapolice.com/fun-facts/
http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/records-5000/most-bananas-peeled-and-eaten-i
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/the-filter/qi/8345477/QI-Quite-interesting-facts-
http://www.answers.com/Q/How_many_mg_of_vitamin_c_is_in_an_8_oz_glass_of_orange_
http://www.dailyworldfacts.com/orange-fact/
http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=37


Thanks.....

Answer
Contrary to what you think, your writing is just fine!  Good for you!  There are a few grammatical and usage notes I'd like to make, however.

Also a note about sources:  the Internet is NOT a reliable source!  If you want to use the 'Net, confine yourself to extensions such as .edu and .gov.  

Trade groups, fun facts sites, grocery store sites, etc. are not considered reliable enough to cite as sources.  Most particularly, ask.com is not reliable!  As far as I can tell, there is no vetting for writing on that site; anyone can answer.

The Guinness site is ok, since we can assume they know what's in their own books!

I realize this is just a writing sample, so perhaps this advice is gratuitous!

~~

However, most of us are not aware of the fact that there are several amazing facts associated with fruits.

Do not start a sentence with =however=.  Its presence means there is a comparison within the same sentence.  

The sky is blue, however, grass is not blue.


If you wish to use =however= to mean "on the other hand", place it in the middle or at the end of the sentence.

Most of us are not aware of the fact that there are several amazing facts associated with fruits, however.
Most of us, however, are not aware of the fact that there are several amazing facts associated with fruits.

The second sentence is the better of the two because =however= emphasizes that people don't know this.

~~

Here we will discuss some amazing facts about most popular fruits like apples, bananas, and oranges.

You do not need to "tell them what you are going to tell them."  This piece is short enough that people will be able to understand what you write as they are reading it.  Omit this sentence.

Also, you want =such as= instead of =like=.

Perfect punctuation in = apples, bananas, and oranges=!  Kudos to you!

~~

Start a new paragraph at =Apple is a popular fruit=.  With each different fruit, start a new paragraph.

~~

There is a problem in the section concerning the apple.

Apple is a popular fruit and needs no introduction. It comes in several different colors depending on their pigment.

First, I would say =the apple=.  Or, say =an apple=.  You could say =apples=; more on this below.  Omit =and needs no introduction=.

In fact, I would merge this sentence with the next one and recast it:

Apple is a popular fruit and needs no introduction. It comes in several different colors depending on their pigment.

The apple is a popular fruit and comes in several different colors, depending on pigment.

Notice that I removed =their=.  =Their= is plural; all the other words you used are singular.  By merging the sentences, we omit this problem.  I used =pigment= by itself.

~~

...was found in Hirosaki, Japan

Do you mean the apple was grown there or that it was discovered there?

~~

...who is the owner of this apple....

Do you mean "who grew the apple" or the person who bought the apple from the farmer?

~~

...aren't aware of the fact that Apple....


There is no need for capital letter in =apple=.

~~

...contains two-third of the fiber....

Use =two-thirds= because you are talking about two units of measure.  Probably this is just an error in typing.

~~

New study suggests ....

Use =a new study=.  

Good decision to use =suggests=.  This is not proven scientifically.

~~

Start a new paragraph at =There is another fruit=.

~~

...greenish yellow peel which is known...

Use =that= instead of =which=.  You are talking about bananas in general.

~~

=LDP ( Low density lipoprotein)= should be =LDL= (low density lipoprotein).

~~

Banana is called "Moz" in the Arabic language.

Why would you give only one example of a language?  This would be ok if you were writing this paper for your Arabic class.  If this were the case, you'd also want to put in the Arabic words for =apple= and =orange=.

Most likely, you'll want to omit this sentence.

~~

Research proves that peels of various fruits including bananas have nutrients in them. Therefore, banana's peel has proven to have healing effects on wounds.

There are several problems here!

Research by whom?  Have you cited this source in your list?  Better to leave out these notions.

Suddenly, you are speaking of NOT eating peels but applying them to the skin.  ??  You haven't said anything previously about whether apple peels applied to the skin have benefits.

I would leave out these sentences.  Find something else to say about bananas, such as their scientific name.  (This also applies to oranges because you have given the scientific name for apples.  Do all or do none.)

~~

The other problem here is punctuation:

...peels of various fruits including bananas have....
should be
...peels of various fruits, including bananas, have....

~~

Therefore, banana's peel has proven....

The peel has not done the proving (active voice).  Therefore, use =is proven= (passive voice).

~~

Banana plants are considered one of the herbs.

I am unfamiliar with this.  That doesn't make it untrue, but I have never read this before!  Is it the leaf that is used as an herb?  The fruit?  How is this used as an herb?  Remedy?  Cooking?

~~

Good to start a new paragraph with information about the orange.

~~

There is a fruit which has its name similar to a color.

This isn't true.  The name IS the name of a color!

~~

Just like banana peels, peels of oranges too carry a lot of benefits for skin.

Ah!  Now you are expanding on what you said about banana peels!  There should be something about benefits to the skin in the section above about banana peels!  A little more information would be good here:  do the peels help make wrinkles less obvious?  Make the skin softer?  Protect against sunburn?  You need something specific here and in the section on bananas.

~~

...orange producing countries....

You need a hyphen:  =orange-producing countries=

~~

There is some evidence that orange juice may prevent kidney stones, and nutrients in oranges helps to fight various types of cancers.  

You have the same problem here with authenticating your remarks.  Try:

Some say that orange juice....
...nutrients in oranges may help....

~

...nutrients in oranges helps....
should be
...nutrients in oranges help....
because =nutrients= is plural.  

~~

Perhaps this is more than you wanted to know.  I appreciate that you said you didn't want editing, but you were so charming that I couldn't help giving more detailed help!

Best wishes to you!
mb  

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Martha Beth Lewis

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I will answer questions having to do with grammar, plurals, punctuation, capitalization, mood, person, tense, and so on, as well as word usage and word choice. If you want a quick answer to a specific question, particularly if you wish to use formal American English for business or academic purposes (MLA), I can give you a timely response. I also can address word choice, clarity, structure, and similar concerns involving English as a second language. If you want advice of a deeper editorial nature (e.g., substantive [line] editing), please consult an Expert who offers this sort of assistance; I do not offer this sort of assistance.

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I was employed as an editor for the graduate school at a major U.S. university and specialized in dissertations. I have over 200 publications in professional journals, consumer magazines, and newspapers. I am the author of five books and numerous syllabi in an arts field. I also am a freelance line editor, copy editor, and proofreader (over 40 years), and I have written or edited countless community organizations' newsletters and promotional materials.

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