AboutViolet Selby Expertise I can try to answer questions relating to parenting and advocating for gifted children. As well as the characteristics and unique challenges they face.
I am not a psychologist. Therefore, I cannot determine if your child is gifted or help with any medical problems your child may have.
Experience I have a website called http://www.giftedjourney.com that deals with gifted children and the issues they face.
Education/Credentials I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in Child Studies.
Expert: Violet Selby Date: 3/26/2008 Subject: Gifted or disabled?
Question My four year old son was able to recite books to me, identify most of his shapes, figure out how things went together and came apart (such as bottle tops and stroller clips) all around the age of two. He's always been very focused, able to practice something until he's mastered it, and could spend hours looking at magazines and other grown up materials (he couldn't read them though). At three he new everything about bugs and could tell us how they have a head, abdomen, thorax and so on. He's the most creative boy I've ever seen (a marker can be a rocket, a bug, a hot dog, etc.); also, since he was a baby he's always been very independent, he's never needed anyone to entertain him. We've always thought he was extremely smart, but after he entered Montessori he was diagnosed with audio processing and language disabilities. The teacher thinks he doesn't/can't play with other kids (although he loves to play with our older neighbor boys), she doesn't think he plays with as many things as he should, and he doesn't always engage in conversation or will answer a question with what he's interested in instead of the right answer. During the observation for his testing, the child psychologist didn't get the responses she wanted, but I watched the observation and could tell he wasn't really into it and was kind of playing with them with his responses. I have seen him do what they were asking during the testing at home (but they said he should be able to adjust to their setting and do what they ask). He does sometimes seem like he's confused, but it's really hard to tell if he knows it and is just not wanting to share or if he's actually confused. My husband and I struggle with accepting the disabilities because he's seemed so advanced since he was little, but don't want to not intervene if he needs it. How can I tell if my son is gifted or has a disability? Or is there a way to address both at once (not stifle his talents and creativity while trying to get him to conform for the classroom?) Something else I've wondered about is the effect of having two siblings who are very close in age to him. He's almost four and a half, he has a brother who is almost three, and a brother who is eight months.
Answer Hello,
I think from what you write that you believe your son is gifted but the school or his teachers do not. So, once he entered Montessori they tested him and they now say he has audio processing and language disabilities.
I am not a psychologist. However, I wonder if he was too young when he was tested. Also, if he choses to answer the things he's interested in, that doesn't seem like that is a problem at his age. They want him to conform and do it like everyone else. Well, he is not everyone else. He is still young and perhaps not used to all this conforming just yet.
Perhaps, at school he wants someone more on his level to play with. That's why he plays with older children at home.
What does she think he should play with at school? Isn't everyone different? Not everyone likes to play with the same toys or games?
Perhaps, you should consider private testing with someone of your choice. This will help you feel better and answer some of the many questions you have.
I hope this helped.
Best of Luck!
