About Carol Bainbridge Expertise I can answer most questions on parenting gifted children, from infants on. Questions can be about parenting, advocacy, and support and I can provide suggestions for toys and books gifted children love. I can even help you determine whether your child is gifted or bright, and I can point you to more information you might need. I can answer some questions about programs for gifted children, but can`t help much with information on colleges. Visitors wanting to know if their children are gifted might want to read the article "Is My Child Gifted?" before asking a question.
Experience I am the parent of a gifted child and have been working with other parents of gifted children for 13 years, helping them find support and providing them with information. I founded a local gifted organization and helped organize a parent day for a national gifted conference. I have been an active member of my state's gifted association since 1999 and created and maintain their Web site. In addition, I have created a website for parents of gifted children who are looking for toys and books for their children: www.giftsforlearning.com.
I am also the Guide About.com Gifted Children Site.
Education/Credentials I have a bachelor's degree in psychology, an MA in English, and completing a PhD in linguistics with a focus on verbally gifted children. I have been helping parents of gifted children for nearly 20 years and am currently the guide to gifted children on About.com
Question My son recently took the SAT10 and OLSAT8 tests with his kindergarten class in a small private school. We always knew he was a sharp kid, but what a surprise we got today with these test results.
The SAT10 has 620 questions, my son only missed 16. He didn't miss any on the OLSAT.
I spoke with the principal and she told me to just continue encouraging him to read and exposing him to a variety of things. While we have never been the overbearing flashcard-wielding kind of parents, just continuing to do as we have seems... insufficient.
I agree that he should not feel pressured and I want learning to always be fun for him. I don't want him to be burnt out by 6th grade. However, I don't want to hold him back either. With test scores like these, surely he should be doing more than 2 + 2 and "See Jane run".
At what point does it become a clear case of a child needing to skip forward? Is there such a point? Should we really just relax and let him be?
Any guidance will be greatly appreciated!
Heather
Answer Hi Heather,
You ask some good questions. Your principal is actually right -- in terms of what YOU should be doing. What the school should be doing is something altogether different.
What I always recommend to parents of gifted children is pretty much what your principal said. One of the things that we often forget with these gifted young children is that they are young! Think about it for a minute. How old is your son? Five? Six? How long has he been on earth? How much is there on earth to learn?
If you think about that, you'll see what I said the principal is right. Your son can only know as much about the world as you expose him to. This does not mean the same as "school" lessons, such as those you mentioned (2 2, etc.). It means exposing your son to a variety of subjects. Trips to the library, to museums, to concerts, and anything else you can find are the ways to get that exposure.
When my son was little, he loved space and dinosaurs and read everything he could about both subjects. (He was four and five when he started.) I took him to museums, got him books on both subjects, and everything else I could think of. However, I also exposed him to other things as well. For example, I got him a toy keyboard and music videos. He enjoyed those as well, although it seemed that his interest in science was stronger. He's going to college in the fall to major in music composition. What if I had not exposed him to music? (There is, of course, more to the story, but that gives you an idea.)
That's what you need to do at home as a parent. But what about the school? Schools have a different responsibility and they cannot and should not do for gifted children what they do for the majority of children. It simply is not appropriate. When do you know if a child needs to be skipped? The basic answer to that is when he's no longer learning anything new. If your son already knows basic math facts, he is not learning anything new in a class that teaches basic math! If he already knows how to read, he shouldn't be learning how to read. That seems like common sense, doesn't it?
The reason it's not so easy is that most gifted children are not equally gifted across the board. That is, they may have exceptional ability in language, but not in math or vice versa. Schools are reluctant to grade skip children who are not advanced in all areas, and that reluctance is understandable. If a first grader is reading at a second grade level, but has is just doing basic first grade math, schools worry that the child will do poorly if he or she is skipped a grade. That kind of worry is legitimate.
However, if a child does have uneven abilities (which is most often the case), that child still needs advanced instruction in the area of advanced ability. Again, the fact is that a child should be *learning*.
The grade skip issues is further complicated by the concern over socialization. Schools worry that children who are grade skipped are too immature, will be unable to socialize with the older children, will miss out on something, will be the last one to drive in high school and any number of social-related issues. The truth is that many gifted children socialize better with older children and have fewer behavior problems when they are placed with their age mates.
However, that is the majority of case. That's not true in every case.
One of the major problems, aside from what I already discussed, in getting a grade skip for gifted kids is that if a child is misbehaving or underachieving due to a lack of challenge, the school will tell the parents that the child is too immature or is not capable of doing advanced work. On the other hand, if the child is well-behaved and getting straight A's, the school will tell the parents that there is no reason to skip the child, that everything is as it should be.
You can see why the rule is that the child should be learning. Even underachievers learn; they almost always score high on achievement tests. They just don't like to do the homework, which lowers their grade.
You are right to be concerned about pushing your son and having him burn out. It's a tough job to be the parent of a gifted child and try to get an appropriate education. Just remember -- what you do at home is not the same as what is done at school. The responsibilities are quite different. You might want to go back to the principal and see what he says about the responsibility of the school in educating a gifted child. There is no reason to be confrontational. You just need to get an understanding of what his school believes should be done for cognitively advanced children. Once you know that, you'll have a better idea of what you need to work for.
I hope that helped. You might want to read some of the articles on my giftedkids.about.com site. Look in the section on nurturing gifts and abilities. You might also want to look in the sections on school issues and educational options.
