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Grandparenting/Grandpa is an emotional manipulator


Hi, my grand-daughter is five months old, my daughter/her mother is having a really hard time with the other grandparents, especially the grandfather. She was living with them up until yesterday after the grandfather had gone too far. For months she endured his emotional abuse and manipulation in the way of name calling and threats. A week or so ago he threatened to file a negligence claim against her for no apparent reason. The baby is very happy and healthy and my daughter is a great mother. For months he has been writing down stuff she says and does in order to trap her in some kind of wrong doing. Then just the other day when my daughter was having severe stomach pains he insisted on taking her to the hospital. While she was in the back being examined he told the doctor that she was having suicidal tendencies and that she was seeing things. My daughter was so embarrassed!! To top it all off, he left her there without any way home. Later she found out he had planned it all along and told his son and wife before they left, not to expect her back for a few days! I was appalled when I heard this and immediately had her and the baby move back in with me. We are both very leery of the baby being alone with him in fear that he might do something to her and try to blame it on my daughter. He has a criminal record where he did this very thing to his wife after cutting his own face. He intimidates my daughter by claiming he has lawyers on his side and when she went back to get her things he purposefully antagonized her to get her response on tape. I know he's just manipulating her, but it just goes to show what lengths he will go to. Is there anything legal I can do to keep him away from my grandchild?

Thanks a head of time for your answer!

Hi Stephanie;
It would be a good time to go to the District Attorneys Office and have a talk with them. I would also advise going to get some help from the Department of Social Services, this would also be the place that she could get help with an attorney.
They may suggest that she move into a home for abused women [the baby too] for a while just for protection since I am sure that she is worried for her life as well as the little one.
I would not delay on this---do it today!
She needs to have people surrounding her that believes what she says so that she will have proof from someone other than her mother. It doesn't sound as though her husband is going to be much help.
These people will help her and help to protect her. Then when things cool off a little if you still want her to move in with you that would be fine. But let them tell her what to do in case in would go to court for harassment or threats from him. It is the safest route for her.
There is also a place called 'safe harbor' hat can help that is connected with social services that you can contact.
Do this immediately, since he has a record of abuse it will help her to prove it is possible and they can look up the record and check it.

Good luck to all of you. I know what a traumatic time this is for everyone and I wish you al well and safety. God Bless you for helping your daughter and grandchild---nothing tells a child safety like a mom can.
Jan Hayner


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Jan Hayner


I can answer questions that have to do with all aspects of grandparenting. Relationships, Step-grandchildren, things to do, ways to help them, things you have control over and things to don't etc.


I am the mom of 4 and grandma of 8 (plus half of the neighborhood). I have been raising kids almost all of my life and had many experiences to refer to.

I belonged to PTA, Den Mother for Cub Scouts, Bluebird Troop Leader, E4E (Education for Employment) Committee Member, Volunteer at the local hospital in the Pediatric Department, and was involved with many other kids projects.

Life itself!

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