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Grandparenting/Problem with my grandson


My daughter's oldest son is 20 years old.  He dropped out of school, then got his GED.  And he seems to have no goals, no ambition at all.  He stays up all night playing video games, then sleeps until noon.  My daughter's husband is his stepdad, and he is understandably sick of this.

The ideal solution would be for the kid to get a job and contribute to the family.  Problems with that idea - they live at least 2 miles from any place that might be hiring.  He has no car, he has bad knees so he can't walk very far, and he he has severe asthma.  The family has only one vehicle and dad needs that to go to work, so nobody can give the kid a ride.

Now she is asking me for advice, because her husband wants to kick him out.  I have no idea what to tell her.  Can you help me?

Hi Susan;
Man did you send this at the right time. My daughter is going through the same thing!
This is how she is handling it. They sat him down and gave him the bill for what it costs for them to pay his share. Then they gave him a choice: figure out how to get a job or enlist in the service.
Since he is not accepting responsibility, they are not going to either. This is all on him to figure out. He has until the end of May to make his decisions.
Unless things are talked over with these kids ahead of time, they figure they are going to live with mom and dad the rest of their lives. If he was never expected to have a part time job and accept responsibility while going to school, He won't expect anything else.
Tell her she should try it, my grandson had a job, moved in with a friend to share expense with and was out of the house within 24 hours. BUT--we are expecting him to come around any day now and say he enlisted...he found out the real world isn't sugar coated. :)
I hope this helps her as much as it did my daughter and grandson.
Jan Hayner


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Jan Hayner


I can answer questions that have to do with all aspects of grandparenting. Relationships, Step-grandchildren, things to do, ways to help them, things you have control over and things to don't etc.


I am the mom of 4 and grandma of 8 (plus half of the neighborhood). I have been raising kids almost all of my life and had many experiences to refer to.

I belonged to PTA, Den Mother for Cub Scouts, Bluebird Troop Leader, E4E (Education for Employment) Committee Member, Volunteer at the local hospital in the Pediatric Department, and was involved with many other kids projects.

Life itself!

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