Expert: Christian Eliab Ratnam - 8/31/2008

Question
how can I get my girlfriend to give me oral sex? I so it for her and she loves it, iv tried buying flavored condoms and lube, she actually suggested it but when I ask for it she always changes her mind.

Answer
Hi there, your girlfriend seems to have preconceived ideas on sex and how it should be done. The fact that she finds it disgusting proves that she is focusing more on the act itself than on the turn on and sexual arousal that it might give. Different people are turned on by different things and I suppose the idea of sucking a guys dick isn't too much of a turn on for her. I suggest that the both of you watch porn together. Let her see how common blowjobs are in the outside world. Point out to her that it is a part of sex and try to get her comfortable with the whole idea of oral sex. The best way to do this is to have an open conversation with your partner. Nothing works better. Remind her that a good sex life helps every relationship. Ask her what she wants to be done to her and tell her clearly what turns you on and what you want. If you can, ask her friends who know that blowjobs are normal in sex to talk to her. Another thing you can do is to engage in deeper foreplay....tease her...'AROUSE' her. This can mean doing anything...from talking dirty...to just moving your hands through her body. The hornier she is, the more she wouldn't mind doing stuff. But first you need to knock the 'oral sex is disgusting' idea out of her. Hope this helps. See how things progress.. if you need more help feel free to approach me again. And if sex is as important in a relationship to you as it is to me, you might want to point out to her that you don't think you can live your entire life without her giving her ALL/BEST in sex. All the best!