Expert: Christian Eliab Ratnam - 9/1/2008

Question
I'm a girl and I'm 13 years old and I have a question about deepthroating. My friend told me that she can deepthroat her boyfriend's dick and it's really fun and I wanna learn how to deepthroat, too! By deepthroating, I mean putting a boy's whole dick, including his balls, in my mouth and down my throat. I've tried deepthroating my boyfriend's dick a lot of times but I always gag and I can't put it all the way in. What's the best way to learn how to deepthroat? From my friend? From watching porn videos with girls deepthroating? From practising again and again? How do other girls learn how to deepthroat?

Answer
Dear Tiffany,

   Deepthroating is a sexual technique, a skill if you will – and it requires you to suppress your gag reflex in order to partially swallow the end of his penis. This requires muscle control as well as a willing nature. If you have the will, there is a way. The key is to 'TRY AND TRY AGAIN!'.

   Now, if you have never, ever tried to Deepthroat – or if you have and you find that you have a terrible gag reflex (feeling like you are going to vomit) – then I would definitely suggest you practice on toys, bananas or other objects BEFORE you try this on your man. If you get confident with the stand-ins you will do much better with a real penis!

   While you have the toy down your throat it will seem – especially at first – that you can’t breathe. When you give a normal blowjob you use a combination of your nose and mouth to breathe. When you are Deepthroating, you must learn to breathe out of your nose more. This seems unnatural at first, because our natural instinct when something is shoved into our throat is to gag and hold our breath or to cough.

So, one of the most important techniques to learn is how to breathe while doing the Deepthroat. Here are some pointers: when the toy goes into your throat and pushes past the tonsils – DO NOT PANIC. Simply hold your breath for the few seconds that it is blocking your airway. Then, when you pull out the toy, take a breath – from your mouth. Not only will this give you greater breathing, but the warm, hot air on your man’s penis will excite him tremendously!

In time you will learn how to pattern your breathing with the rhythm of the insertion and it won’t feel so much like you are suffocating! To do this, just repeatedly swallow the toy in and out and practice the breathing as you go. Once you can successfully get the toy down into your throat and continue breathing without gagging – you are ready to advance to a real penis.

Getting over the Gag: If you are a “gagger” – meaning every time something goes into your throat you gag – the mission is to defeat the gag reflex. It is called a “reflex” because the throat wants to expel items which are closing off the windpipe – it is a survival instinct. However, you can overcome this reflex by learning to relax and concentrate on what you are doing. If you are breathing and relaxed the gag reflex will not be so bad.

There really are no super secrets to eliminating or overcoming the gag reflex – simply mind over matter and practice. Therefore, the best way to overcome it is to continually force yourself to accept the toy down your throat. Each time it should get much easier and much better to do. Eventually, your gag reflex will barely be noticeable when giving oral sex. One final tip to overcoming this obstacle is to be aroused! The more aroused and willing we are to pleasure our partner, the easier it is to accomplish this. Hope this helps...