Expert: Jay Corbett - 5/5/2009

Question
I have a really hard time having an orgasm during sex. It seems impossible to achieve. When I first had sex I was able to with ease. I remember when I stopped having them during sex. I was sick one day and was at my boyfriends house. I remember not feeling well and having sex with him, even though I wasn't into having sex at that time. After that I haven't been able to have an orgasm during sex. I thought maybe it was him not being able to satisfy me, but I haven't with anyone. Sometimes I feel like I get close but then nothing. It is very frustrating. I want to be able to have an orgasm with my husband. We don't have oral sex, so it seems the only time i am satisfied is if i do it myself. What is something I can do to help get this back?

Answer
First, you are not alone. Many women — about 9 out of 10! — have trouble reaching orgasm when having sex with a partner. This is even more common for younger women who are just beginning to explore sexual relationships. Education and fun. you both need to be able to share about your feelings with each other and ask for what you want.

There are plenty of professional sex therapists that can help. I suggest you look some up in your area and go interview 3 and then both pick the one you like and get to work on improving your sex life.

Keep me posted.

Jay