Question QUESTION: Hi, Gabriella, thank you for reading this, i appreciate it.
I've been with my gf for 7 months now but haven't had sex with her, since she is not ready (at least, that's what she said and i respect that). She's 18 and i really love her.
However, this question is not about our relationship, since we are doing great. Whenever there's a problem or something is bother one of us, we talk it out right away, directly and without waiting till it gets worse, that is the reason we're still together and haven't had any big arguments. Well, 7 months is nothing, yet in our age group, that is quite an achievement i believe.
Although, we don't have sex, we do other sexual things in bed. I starter fingering her not so long ago, maybe a month ago and it was by accident actually. However, since then we did it more often and it was great, she would enjoy it because she would moan and sometimes scream in the end. It was all achieved with just one middle finger. There is one thing i'm confused about: there was no blood and i didn't feel anything like a hymen and it was the only reason we continued on with this activity. Did i already break it? Or perhaps she broke it while biking? (we live in the Netherlands, and biking is like walking) I know she is a virgin, i trust her, we're very open to each other.
Another thing is, she sometimes, although rarely, gets cottage cheese discharge in her vagina, which burns and itches sometimes and then it just goes away in a couple of days. She says she's used to it and that it sometimes goes away for almost a year, whereas i told her that it could be that she has some infection and needs to be treated. Well, anyways, right before this discharge i fingered her like 2 days before and it doesn't make her feel as good any more, as a matter of fact it hurts her, not very much, but still. She once also peed by accident while i was fingering her. I made sure that she doesn't feel embarrassed about it and we moved on. But now, whenever try to give her pleasure through fingering, she says that she feels like peeing, because i press on something inside her vagina (bladder?), but i've been fingering her the same way as from the beginning and we never had that problem.
I've heard that usually it means i'm touching her G-spot, as touching that spot would feel like she wants to pee first, when in fact she is about to come, but i'm not sure it applies to my situation. Though I'd like it to! She just stops me, because she thinks she will pee again. I told her to empty her bladder before. Since then, however, i don't know what to do, as this was my only way of pleasuring her, besides the 15 minute foreplay and she doesn't respond as well to cunnilingus, apparently fingering is her thing. I need to change this and make it pleasurable again for her and for myself, because it's making our intimacy suffer because of it. When it doesn't work out, we just put our clothes on and do other not sex related things. She is fine, but I, on the other hand, don't feel so good any more, it kinda somehow touches my self confidence in a negative way.
could the pain inside her be the result of or a symptom that comes before this cottage cheese discharge and itching?
Thank you
Zaraki
ANSWER: Hi Zaraki,
The discharge could be either a yeast infection (which is not sexually transmitted) or an STD (if she in fact has had sex and received a disease from a past lover). STD can be painful but not yeast infections. Has she visited a doctor for this condition?
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QUESTION: Hi Gabriella,
Thank you for answering so fast.
About the discharge, something tells me the discharge is an yeast infection after all, but the thing is, it kind of "disappears" as she says and she doesn't want to go to the doctor (because I've asked her to let me know if the symptoms are persisting). She's stubborn, I'm not sure if it's a good idea to actually force her to go to the doctor. She knows better about her cycles, so i thought I'll let it slide. But it's been around 3-4 days, and the discharge is still there. It is starting to worry me.
Answer I do not think she is being very smart about not going to the doctor. The discharge could be ANYTHING. If the discharge turns out to be 'something', the consequences could be unfortunate; she could end up with an untreatable/incurable disease or infection, or if it's something harmful to her body, it could interfere with her chances of conceiving in the future. Women should take their bodies much more seriously and never shrug anything off as just 'nothing'. It would be horrible if her 'nothing' turned out to be 'something'. Maybe you could persuade her?
