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How to Have Great Sex/How to pleasure my man more?


Hi my boyfriend and me have been dating for over a year now. We started having sex really early in our relationship. He was my first,but he had had several partners before me. He is actually 3 years younger than me. We grew up very differently. I am a very civilized country girl that was raised on the idea that sex comes after the wedding. I wanted to stick to that but I I fell in love with my special guy. Sex has now become very comfortable for me for the most part. There are few ways and things I want to improve on to pleasure him (and me)more. We are lucky if we see each other once a week so we are like jackrabbits in a box when we do. We usually go for at least 5 rounds over about 12 hours. I am okay for the first 2 but then my vagina gets sore. I don't know if it is just dry or if he is to ruff. He does like to pound me, and for those rounds I like it to. What do you think? Also, I am not very good at oral sex. He doesn't go down on me much and when he does not for long. I dont like doing it really, it seems kind of dirty to me, but when I can't provide sex for what ever reason, I will do that for him. He is a guy and has needs. I don't know if my problem is my mouth is small and I have a lot of teeth or what. I have got a little better as I get more and more use to it. How can I provide better oral sex? I also kind of feel like I suck at sex becuase sometimes he takes forever to cum. Especially after he has had a few drinks. Thanks for your help.

You are taking too much of the blame for the sex not being good enough.  Your boyfriend is the sexually experienced one, so he should know.  Most males can't do five rounds in twelve hours.  You should expect the last three rounds will not be very good.  If your vagina is getting sore at that point -- as well it should be -- you should either take a break from sex or use a water-based lube.  

If you don't like oral sex, no one should expect you to do it.  You should only be doing sexual things that you enjoy.  It is also not your fault if he can't reach orgasm after drinking.

In short, it sounds like most of what is wrong with your sex life is your boyfriend's fault, and he should be taking most of the blame for it.  

How to Have Great Sex

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I am willing to answer questions in all areas of sexuality. I have been giving advice to both males and females for over 13 years, and in that time I have answered thousands of questions. I advocate taking healthy practices into account in engaging sexually.


I have written the web site for over 13 years, taking questions from both males and females on sexuality.

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions of the world.

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