How to Have Great Sex/premature ejaculation

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Question
Sometimes it seems that I am only able to keep myself from ejaculating once I'm inside the vagina for a few minutes. I would like to be able to last a good 20-30 minutes, although the best that I have done is focus on oral stimulation first… And then penetration. Although this approach has grown stale and I want more variety.

It's wonderful the times it does work out just right though and I am able to experience simultaneous orgasms with her.

Also, my girlfriend takes this fairly hard and I am wondering how I can handle this. After sex, she generally wants to clean up right away so the semen doesn't drain onto the bed, etc. Although the times that I might ejaculate too soon, sometimes she just gets frustrated as she is disappointed she didn't reach orgasm. Her dream of how sex was going to play out turns to dust, so she doesn't like oral after I ejaculate because it feels like pity sex. She's all about being in the moment, which is why I want to control my ejaculation more… But perhaps there's another way to help her out?

Let me know your thoughts.

Answer
Technically, being able to last 2-3  minutes is not premature ejaculation.  That term is usually used to refer to men who ejaculate instantly upon entering the vagina.  Most of my experience is with men with delayed ejaculation/anorgasmia.  I frequently tell them to abstain from masturbating for a few days before intercourse.  In your case, the opposite advice would probably help.  If you could masturbate to orgasm a few hours before intercourse, you would probably be able to last longer in intercourse.  

It might help your girlfriend's post-coital anxiety if you could have intercourse on a towel.  Then she would be less worried about cleaning up ASAP.  And in terms of timing her orgasm, she would probably be happier if you would bring her to orgasm orally or manually before having vaginal intercourse.

How to Have Great Sex

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.

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I am willing to answer questions in all areas of sexuality. I have been giving advice to both males and females for over 13 years, and in that time I have answered thousands of questions. I advocate taking healthy practices into account in engaging sexually.

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I have written the web site HealthyStrokes.com for over 13 years, taking questions from both males and females on sexuality.

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I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions of the world.

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