You are here:

How to Have Great Sex/Can't orgasm during sex...

Advertisement


Question
Hi, I'm 18 and have had sex several times. The first few times I had sex, it felt good, but I was never able to orgasm from it. Then we broke up and several months past before I ended up with someone new. We were dating, although to be fair we were more like friends with benefits (sort of how it started). He was a lot bigger around than the first guy, and when I had sex with him it made me really uncomfortable. It hurt at first, which I figured would be normal, but once I got used to it I found that my eyes watered and I felt like I needed to pee really bad, and it was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever experienced. I'm just curious why I can't orgasm from sex or why I have that feeling. It might be important to know that I've never been able to orgasm from fingering myself or toys or anything that isn't direct stimulation to my clit. I just feel really bad because all of the guys I date try to get me to orgasm from fingering me or sex, and either I can't feel them at all, it faintly feels good, or it makes me feel like I need to use the bathroom. I don't know why this is and I feel like there's something wrong with me.

Answer
It's not too surprising that you haven't had an orgasm considering you've only had sex "several times."  Most females take a while to learn to have orgasms in intercourse.  If you need clitoral stimulation, then you should practice with partners to learn what helps you reach orgasm.  Sometimes all the male has to do is adjust the angle of his entry and the female can reach orgasm more easily.  Some women masturbate while having intercourse, frequently because they can't reach orgasm any other way.  If that's the case, then it helps if you can choose a sex position that lets you get your hand in.  

I urge you to keep working on it and not expect immediate results.

How to Have Great Sex

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Doug Adams, Ph.D.

Expertise

I am willing to answer questions in all areas of sexuality. I have been giving advice to both males and females for over 13 years, and in that time I have answered thousands of questions. I advocate taking healthy practices into account in engaging sexually.

Experience

I have written the web site HealthyStrokes.com for over 13 years, taking questions from both males and females on sexuality.

Education/Credentials
I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions of the world.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.