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QUESTION: I prefer to marry for love and for happiness. Absolutely but love is hard to find and I have been i love once and it did not work out sadly. :(  I am focused on finding someone who has excellent morals, who would be a wonderful husband, treats me well, and makes a good living. I will be happy with that. I also know what I deserve and wil be with someone wh ois deserving as well.
I didn't understand the sentence you wrote,"obviously has the means and the time to have a woman in his life, so why doesn't he?"
I am just curious if the guy is loaded and I like to analyze things. I read somewhere that some rich guys happen to be very cheap and that when they are looking to settle down where they seek a potential wife. They like to test women and try to weave out the gold diggers? Perhaps he is doing the same? Thought it is interesting. So I am asking you if this guy is loaded or not?
I will not marry for money believe me I have dated other men who had money and I couldn't stand them. I ran away as fast as I could! It is not just about money.

ANSWER: Your guy seems to do things in an upside down way.  Most men are interested in female companionship and sex, not necessarily in that order.  Your guy seems to have the means and the time to have female companionship, and he even has multiple homes, but he is single.  According to your reports, he is also uninterested in sex.  This is something that doesn't fit.  According to you, he is successful on Wall Street and has multiple homes, real estate interests, and side businesses.  That says he has a lot of money.  Seemingly he would be able to attract a lot of partners.  But he claims to be saving sex for marriage?  Then why isn't he married yet?  These are just questions that itch at me.

He probably has a lot of money, but I don't know, and I don't expect him to show me his balance sheet.  Some people with a lot of assets also have a lot of debt, which renders their net worth less.   

If he is looking to screen out gold-diggers, be sure you don't ask him for things that cost money.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I don't ask men for money who have money. :) Anyway I have had some male friends who have shared their stories with me about their women problem and some have it rougher than others. I have a friend who is a good looking guy, shy and has the worst luck with women and he is still looking for the one to get married and settle down with. Why isn't he married? Because he hasn't met the right one yet. I know another man who doesn't get sex and hasn't had a real girlfriend in years!
Simon wants to save himself for marriage and I don't think that is a problem and have met some people who want to save themselves for marriage but that is not easy to find. Simon has two homes and one that he rents out in California and the other house is the one he lives in. He tells me that he wants to get married and have a kids. He has dated but like I said before he hasn't focused much on it and dating sucks! Haven't you forgot? I even stopped dating and just let things flow. Whoever comes into my life then see what happens.
My brother has been with his gf for 8 years and then got married but there was never a marriage, it fell apart and now they are living in seperate states and divorced. My brother says I don't know how to date and it is weird to be single. I understand his frustration when it comes to dating and some people just don't date becasue they don't want to deal with it. I have met some men like Simon who have been very busy to even DATE! Or to meet people. I was seeing a Wall Street Trader and he says he hardly gets the time to go out and meet people. We met online luckily and we are friends today.  
Again I am going to see where it goes with Simon and see what happens. I have friends who are Christians and when I told them that he is saving himself for marriage they thought it was wonderful. Who knows...

Answer
Good job.  It's a good thing that you've learned all those issues about Simon.  I encourage you to keep talking about these things.  He has obviously had problems finding the right woman.  Remember, there are two steps.  Finding the right person, and being the right person.  It can be very complicated.  Sex complicates some of the strangest issues.  I think you might have to wait for sex until Simon is ready, but that gets complicated if you want to keep looking for other men at the same time.

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.

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I am willing to answer questions in all areas of sexuality. I have been giving advice to both males and females for over 13 years, and in that time I have answered thousands of questions. I advocate taking healthy practices into account in engaging sexually.

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I have written the web site HealthyStrokes.com for over 13 years, taking questions from both males and females on sexuality.

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