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Question
Hello Domina, I will be getting married soon, and my girl is a virgin. She has heard all kinds of things about breaking a woman's virginity, ranging from bleeding and been painful. I have told her to relax that it may not be that awful. I want you to tell me in details what really happens when a woman's virginity is broken. Again, how can I slide in my penis into her pussy to avoid hurting her? Which position is the best for this first time love making? What are the precautions we need to know?

Thank you.  

Alex.

Answer
Hello Alex,

Thank you for your question.

When a virgin has vaginal penetrative sex for the first time, she may experience pain, discomfort and perhaps bleeding.  This is caused by breaking of the HYMEN, and also because her vagina is usually very tight.  However, not every woman has a hymen, and usually by the time they are ready to marry, the hymen has been worn away considerably and may not even be present.  This is because during adolescence the hymen thins, and may even be broken as a result of athletics, self-exploration, cleansing and just natural wearing out. Or perhaps they never had a hymen in the first place, or their hymen was already broken, or mainly open to begin with. Every woman's physiology is very different.  See this hymen gallery to see the different types of hymens women can have-
http://healthystrokes.com/hymengallery.html

So, it is very likely that your fiance will not experience pain or bleeding during her first time. This is especially true if you are a caring lover.

The best things you can do to prepare her is to be a responsive and tender lover. Use lots of foreplay before penetration to make sure she is very aroused. Use lots of clitoral stimulation and try to bring her to orgasm first before you penetrate her.  When she is ready, then you can go very slow and just first penetrate her with one finger while you continue to stimulate other parts of her (clitoris and other erogenous zones).  If that feels good, try two fingers and so on, until you have reached the size of your penis.  Then if she can take that, she will be able to take your penis, without pain or displeasure.

When she is ready for you to penetrate her with your penis, again go slow, see what her reaction is as you slowly slip inside.  Allow her to move her hips to create the rhythm, which will tell you how fast and how deep/hard you can go so she is enjoying it. Continue to stimulate her elsewhere as well during penetration is helpful as well.

There are really no better positions to use, but avoid ones in which you go deeper, and try to hold back forceful thrusts, unless she really enjoys it and is urging you on.

Also, even before the big event that night, make your atmosphere romantic : music, candles, finger foods to share, kiss her lots, and make her feel comfortable.  She will be nervous anyway, it is her first time. But she should become more relaxed by the romantic atmosphere, and your slow loving techniques.

Also, ensure her that for most women, that there is normally no pain or bleeding, especially if they are with a caring lover who will go slow and give them pleasure.

You can also look up articles on the internet about pain during sex for the first time, and the hymen, so you can show her that most of what she fears is only a myth.

Some articles-
http://www.yourtango.com/201172815/7-things-you-didnt-know-about-hymen

PDF about the Hymen or (Vaginal Corona)-
http://www.rfsu.se/en/Engelska/Sex-and-Politics/Hymen-renamed-vaginal-corona/

Video about the Hymen-
http://popmycherryreview.com/sex-columns1/all-about-the-hymen-with-kara-sutra/

Hope this answers your questions Alex.  Just remember to be a gentle and responsive lover, and I'm sure your first time together will be pleasurable.

Thanks!
Domina  

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Domina

Expertise

I am happy to answer any questions about human sexuality and how to have great sex. Which positions facilitate G-spot pleasure? What is the best way to explore anal sex for the first time? How can I spice up my sex life? Is kinky sex right for me, and how can I safely explore it? Sex positions, types of orgasm for men and women, how to prolong or delay orgasms, multiple orgasms, Tantra and more... And, don't forget types of foreplay and setting the mood. Feel free to ask me these or any questions you have about how to have great sex.

Experience

As as pleasure consultant, I have worked for 6 years in various sex toy shops, including brick and mortar shops where I advised customers on what types of toys they may like to purchase, as well as educating them on the toys and sexuality in general. I have an established sex toy review blog with over 5000 articles, reviews and sexual information posts, and have gained a reputation as a sexuality expert.

Education/Credentials
6 years working in the sex toy industry 5 years reviewing sex toys and writing articles on sexuality BFA and a BA Numerous workshops on sexuality and sex toys in general.

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WomensHealth.com, PopMyCherryReview.com, Sex Life Canada, BlogHer.com, the Sex Carnival, Whiplash!, SMUT, Divine Caroline, Carnal nation, Good Vibes magazine, Lover Magazine, Broken Pencil, AltSexTalk, Ezine Articles, Real Sex Toy Reviews, Boinkology, Examiner, Vibrator.com, and many more.

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