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QUESTION: Hi, I have a big problem. I just recently realized that I have been masturbating the wrong way (prone) for most of my life. I'm 23 now and I dated a girl a year ago and always had problem with not ejaculating worse i did not feel anything while having sex with her. I always thought it was the condom until I stumbled upon your site healthy strokes and learned that my masturbating technique is the source of all my problems. I read about the treatment for it. Now I'm looking to start seeing this new girl and I'm afraid I won't have time to correct this problem of mine if things work out and we start having sex. How much time do I need before I can satisfy myself and her in the bedroom? I'm kinda hesitant to start dating this girl because I feel insecure about this problem. I hope that I am rid of these problems by the I start having sex with her. Another problem of mine is I'm a graduate student and I'm busy most of the time and I don't have enough time to practice conventional masturbation. Please help me find my way to better sex. Lastly, do I have to ejaculate every time I practice conventional masturbation? And do I have to follow the schedule of practicing everyday? because most of the times I am just too tired after coming from school and I even have to study at home

ANSWER: Prone masturbation is a cause of sexual dysfunctions in most men who practice it.  The cure is to abstain from masturbating for a week and then masturbate by hand the way nearly all males do.  Once you've been masturbating daily by hand for a month, then you can try sex again.

Don't let fear of anorgasmia keep you from pursuing a new girl.  Deal with problems as they come up.  Many graduate students have overcome prone masturbation.  The first time you do conventional masturbation, it will probably take between a half hour and an hour, but after that it will get shorter, less time than you even take to masturbate prone now.

Many males have resolved to overcome prone masturbation when they were pursuing a special female.  Now that time has come for you.  Good luck with the new lady and good luck at learning to masturbate conventionally.

To learn more about prone masturbation and the problems it causes, see http://www.healthystrokes.com.

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QUESTION: Hi Doug, I just successfully masturbated conventionally yesterday. It didn't take half an hour to an hour, it only took 20-23 minutes for me to finish. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, I just really had to focus. However, do I have to be able to do this for everyday for a month for me to before I can have sex again? Plus, is it normal that I still found prone masturbation more pleasurable granted it was the first time I masturbated conventionally?

ANSWER: You have only done conventional masturbation once.  Don't make any judgments yet about how you like it compared to prone masturbation.  You are still learning.  Try again tomorrow.  It will get easier and you can focus more on your enjoyment.  Pretty soon you will be able to do it in more places.

I advise you to plan to have sex only after you have been able to masturbate by hand daily for a month.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Ok i have been able to successfully masturbate conventionally for five straight days. I hate to ask you this again but do i really have to do it everyday for one month before i can have sex again and say that treatment was a success? I mean it's hard to do since my schedule's jam packed and i read in the urology forum here that too much ejaculation is bad for the prostate. What's your take on that?

Answer
Once a day is normal ejaculatory frequency and is not too much for the prostate.  Five days is pretty good, but the treatment program for overcoming prone masturbation specifically calls for being able to masturbate by hand daily for a month before attempting intercourse.  That is what I recommend.

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.

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I am willing to answer questions in all areas of sexuality. I have been giving advice to both males and females for over 13 years, and in that time I have answered thousands of questions. I advocate taking healthy practices into account in engaging sexually.

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I have written the web site HealthyStrokes.com for over 13 years, taking questions from both males and females on sexuality.

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I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions of the world.

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