How to Have Great Sex/Need advice.
QUESTION: Hi Domina,
I'm 19 this year and I have an 18 year old girlfriend. We've been together for more than a year already. Recently, we both had strong sexual desires for each other. My girlfriend and I was also curious on how penetrative sex would feel like. She told me she didn't mind losing her virginity to me (we both are virgins by the way) and that her only concern is pregnancy. We both are careful. I've thought of trying it out by inserting my penis into her vagina and taking it out immediately just to get a feel of it. My only concern is that would that get her pregnant? Of course I know abstinence is 100% not to get anyone pregnant but what are the significant chances of this getting her pregnant? I've read that pre-ejaculatory fluid can cause pregnancy too since sperm might be in it. But that's because of the person not urinating after ejaculating. However, I'm not going to ejaculate anytime soon, especially when I'm going to penetrate her. Of course I'm sure to get wet. I do not plan to ejaculate inside her. Just a feel of penetrating her once. Any advice would help and is much appreciated!
ANSWER: Hello Alex,
Thank you for your question.
Withdrawal is not a good method of preventing pregnancy. Yes, women can get pregnant from pre-cum, if there is semen in the fluid. And, it is very hard to withdraw, even given your best intentions to do so.
I would recommend using a condom if you want to avoid pregnancy. Then you can both be sure, as condoms are 98 percent effective in preventing pregnancy when used correctly. That will also allow you both to relax and actually enjoy having sex without worrying.
Another method, would be for her to go on the pill. But I would recommend that only as a second choice. Really a condom is the best way to go.
Hope that helps.
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QUESTION: Thank you Domina for the advice. However, I think I didn't make it clear enough. I don't plan to withdraw when I'm about to ejaculate. In fact I won't ejaculate anywhere near her vagina. My intention was just to penetrate her for just a few seconds before taking my penis out again. Only wanted to feel her inside and for her to feel it too. So yea wondering if you could give any advice on few seconds of penetrative sex. Thanks once again!
Pre-cum can contain sperm if your don't urinate after ejaculation, and then penetrate your partner. However, you said you were definitely not going to do this and was aware of this. In that case, if you were only going to enter her for a few seconds and then pull out, then there is very little chance of her getting pregnant.
But, sex is a bit more complicated than that. It may take you a while before you can get inside her if she is tight, so may take more than a few seconds. And, you may also ejaculate before you want to, and not be able to pull out in time. Some men do this withint the first minute of sex without meaning to. Also, it may feel so good, that you don't want to pull out right away, so you stay in longer than intended, and end up ejaculating by mistake. These things can and do happen. Even if you plan them, it doesn't mean things always go as planned.
Personally, I think using a condom is the safest way to do this. But you know the consequences, so it is up to you and your partner to make your own choices.