How to Have Great Sex/being good at sex


Hi, I figure you seem to be the expert so I'll cut to the chase. I'm a virgin and I heard recently about how women expect men to last a certain amount of time in bed. How long is it recommended to last to satisfy both me and her? It's just that I want my first time to be special and I really want it to be good for her also, I heard this kind of stuff is important and I felt that I'm lucky I heard about this before I did anything. Tips and info would be greatly appreciated.

I don't think it's true that women expect men to last a certain amount of time in bed.  Certainly very little is expected at the first sexual encounter.  If you are new to a particular sexual partner, to say nothing of being completely inexperienced at sex, it is unlikely you will be able to bring a woman to orgasm the first time.  

In terms of getting a woman to let you into her bed a second time, you are better off if you can last longer rather than shorter.  10 to 15 minutes is a good length.  If you can last that long, you are signalling to a woman that you will give her a chance to have an orgasm some of the time, whereas if you last five minutes or less, she will probably expect that she will not be able to have an orgasm with you.

Despite having said all that, there's not much you can do to plan for a particular length of intercourse your first time.  Just try to enjoy it and make it a fun experience for both of you and don't worry about having an orgasm.

How to Have Great Sex

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I am willing to answer questions in all areas of sexuality. I have been giving advice to both males and females for over 13 years, and in that time I have answered thousands of questions. I advocate taking healthy practices into account in engaging sexually.


I have written the web site for over 13 years, taking questions from both males and females on sexuality.

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions of the world.

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