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How to Have Great Sex/Safe Sex and Male Condom


QUESTION: Hi i'm 13, and I am planning to have safe sex with my girlfriend. Does she need birth control even though I am using a condom? Is there such thing as birth control for guys? Also, if I finger her would I get any diseases how do I prevent from getting any diseases from fingering my girlfriend. Am I right that only if i consume her cum I could get diseases?

ANSWER: 13 is pretty young to be having sex, even safe sex.  I would suggest putting it off until you are old enough to understand and deal with these issues.  Condoms are one of the least successful forms of birth control.  She would be a lot safer from pregnancy if the condoms were in addition to something she used herself.  There is currently no oral contraception for males.

The only way you could get a disease from her is if she has a sexually transmitted disease.  You ought to discuss your respective sexual histories before doing anything.  I doubt you're old enough to appreciate the gravity of this.   If she had an STD, you could catch it without consuming any of her products.

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QUESTION: What is birth control used for right afer safe sex?

ANSWER: Birth control is used before sex.  Females often use oral contraceptives, which are taken daily whether or not she is having sex.  Females also put jelly, foam, or contraceptive inserts into the vagina before sex.  With one rare exception, there is no birth control used after sex.  It has to be done before having intercourse.  In rare cases, women can take something called the morning after pill, which is a dangerous drug that can have severe side effects.

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QUESTION: So what is the proper way to have safe sex at 13.

I advise strongly that you wait until you're older and can deal with these things.  At the very least you need to learn how to use a condom properly and to use one every time.  The female should also use another method of birth control, such as foam, jelly, or inserts.  It would be better still if she could get on birth control pills.

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I am willing to answer questions in all areas of sexuality. I have been giving advice to both males and females for over 13 years, and in that time I have answered thousands of questions. I advocate taking healthy practices into account in engaging sexually.


I have written the web site for over 13 years, taking questions from both males and females on sexuality.

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions of the world.

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