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How to Have Great Sex/Is casual sex worthwhile?


Dear Dr. Adams,

Is it worth going to clubs every night, and having sex with different women occasionally, when you could be doing something productive?

Yes. It's a good desire. It gives you confidence, charisma and sexual experience. And you can't have too much bonding with another human being.


No. it's a reckless, animalistic craving. Sexual fulfilment from it is merely a lie your brain tricks you into believing, so it can serve its biological purpose. You always feel empty and disappointed afterwards.

I'm asking this, because I have desires to both be in a loving relationship, and also to have as many casual sexual experiences as possible. I don't know which one I truly want. Do i want a relationship because i'm lonely? And do I want casual sex because my brain wants to trick me into fulfilling its biological purpose? It's a dilemma.

Thanks for reading.


I'm neither in favor nor against casual sex, but I think it's better if you're having sex with someone in order to build a relationship with them instead of just having sex for the sake of it.  Casual sex leads many people into healthy relationships.  Complete rejection of casual sex can prevent some people from getting into a relationship at all.  Try to find a happy balance.

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I am willing to answer questions in all areas of sexuality. I have been giving advice to both males and females for over 13 years, and in that time I have answered thousands of questions. I advocate taking healthy practices into account in engaging sexually.


I have written the web site for over 13 years, taking questions from both males and females on sexuality.

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions of the world.

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