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How to Have Great Sex/still can't seem to enjoy it


(18 y/o female)

hi! so i'll get straight to the problem, i've had sex only 4 times but it doesn't seem like it's beginning to hurt any less. i don't understand how it can be pleasurable at all and sometimes i think there's something wrong with me. i feel too 'tight' and my boyfriend gets frustrated and i tell him to bear with me but it really puts a strain on things. what would you recommend in general for me and for my boyfriend and i together? i've heard it's supposed to stop hurting after one or two times because a vagina stretches itself out but i feel like i haven't done anything...i'd appreciate your insight. thanks!

Four times isn't so many.  Take your time and learn to enjoy it.  I would seriously recommend trying one or more sexual lubes.  Lubes made especially for women would be most helpful to you.  Many people enjoy Astroglide gel.  K-Y Natural Feeling Liquid is also a favorite.  If the problem persists, you should see a gynecologist.

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I am willing to answer questions in all areas of sexuality. I have been giving advice to both males and females for over 13 years, and in that time I have answered thousands of questions. I advocate taking healthy practices into account in engaging sexually.


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