How to Have Great Sex/frisky & wild

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QUESTION: Hi Doug,

I'm hoping you can help me. I was at a pool party one time and a bunch of the guys were naked, drinking, and ended up engaging in kissing, jerking, and oral sex. The next day, someone said "I'm surprised they were so frisky last night." I know the definition of that word is "playful, full of energy", but what does frisky mean in a sexual context? I've read conflicting things, like it's engaging in sex but being energetic and having a lot of fun with it. But I've also read that frisky is the playfulness leading up to sexual activity and not the sexual activity itself. So what would you say being sexually frisky actually is? And is that the same thing as being wild, or the two different?

Thank you

ANSWER: Frisky means sexually playful, and some people say they were frisky to mean they actually had sex.  I suspect that whoever was surprised meant they were surprised that there was actual sex, not merely that people were being playful about sex.  Being playful about sex but not actually having sex is sometimes called being a tease.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you for your response. But when you say "being playful about sex" what do you mean?

Answer
I mean the person is responsive to wanting to engage in sex, but not necessarily agreeing outright to engage in it.  To carry on a flirtatious game of "tease me some more, and I'll tease you."  A lot of times these kind of encounters end in sex, but sometimes not.

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.

Expertise

I am willing to answer questions in all areas of sexuality. I have been giving advice to both males and females for over 13 years, and in that time I have answered thousands of questions. I advocate taking healthy practices into account in engaging sexually.

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I have written the web site HealthyStrokes.com for over 13 years, taking questions from both males and females on sexuality.

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I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions of the world.

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