Expert: Fox - 12/17/2007

Question
hey, i have never had a orgasm at all during sex. sometimes i can masturbate 9-10 times a day and have some really good orgasms. i just don't understand why it only works when im playing with my clit. can you please help me so i can enjoy sex with my fiance? thank you

Answer
Darling

Show him how you make yourself cum, then have him help, and then finally have him learn how to do it himself. That's a start. That will work.

Then show him this:

NO FEMALE ORGASM DURING SEX

If your baby is not getting an orgasm during intercourse itself, the key is to get yourself to the brink of orgasm, and then fuck her in that near-orgasmic state, good and long and hard. When your body is tense and you're ready for orgasm, that's when you are at your biggest, your hardest, and your most intense. That's where you should get to, and then you should be very good at holding it there, and fucking her in that state. You can practice when you're making yourself cum, by getting yourself to the point of orgasm, and then slowing down, and speeding up, and keeping yourself highly aroused and ready to cum. That is the point at which you are the best lover and you are filling her completely.

In addition to this, I recommend five things:

(1) Make sure she is really really wet beforehand and during sex. If she is wet and naturally lubricated, she is excited, and you have a much better chance of making her cum. When you're actually fucking her, make sure you're trying to get her off with your penis, preserving your erection and using it to stimulate her, rather than simply moving it around for your own pleasure without getting her off. You should put plenty of energy and effort into fucking, and be very worn out and well-exercised afterwards - if you're never like that, then you should try harder. If you're always like that, maybe you're not gentle and romantic enough, maybe you're TOO athletic and energetic and not sensual enough?

(2) If she is not wet (or even if she is), try foreplay. If you need more advice on foreplay, let me know. It involves making out, kissing her all over, oral sex (you on her then her on you), fingering her pussy, making her cum with your mouth, teasing her erogenous zones, talking sexy, those kinds of things.

(3) Talk to her during sex. Tell her how beautiful and sexy she is, touch her in places and make it exciting and different and new every time. Help her relax. Take it slowly and experiment with positions and moods and settings. But most of all, be vocal, communicate and talk to her.

(4) Play with her clitoris while you are giving it to her (it is the ridge in her upper vagina, on the outside, at the top of the pussy where the labia meet and below the pubic hair). Even better, she can play with her clitoris whilst you're fucking her, and she can control and stimulate her own orgasms at will. She will have to be comfortable with you to do this, but if she is, it will work.

(5) Most of all - ask her how she likes it. Maybe you're not doing it hard enough, deep enough, long enough or slowly enough. Maybe the angle or position or rhythm is bad. Maybe you're not being romantic or rough or talking enough or too much - who knows? Every girl is different. The only way to find out what will make it more enjoyable for your particular girl is to ASK her and find out directly from her. Otherwise you're just guessing. Communication is the key to sex. That's it!

If you're having sex for an hour, that's great, but it should be productive sex. Is she enjoying the hour despite the lack of orgasms? If so, it's not that big of a deal, you're turining her on, at least. If not, then you need to work not just on the orgasms, but on the lovemaking in general. It should all be enjoyable. Not just the orgasms.

I hope this answer helps you and I hope you come back to me in the future and let me know how this advice has helped you, and how things are going. Also, please take a second to rate me as an expert. Bear in mind this is a free service, and we are doing our best to help you just because we want to.

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Sincerely
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