Guns, Firearms, Projectile Weapon Sports/Boyfriend carries

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Question
I am 48, my guy is 49. We've been together 3 months, though we've known each other over 30 years. I have never had an opinion one way or the other regarding guns, but my association with him has enlightened me. He is legally licensed to carry in our state (Michigan), and does so - everywhere. This was not an issue for me until this past Christmas holiday. He brought his gun into my mother's house on Christmas Eve and at one point during the evening, flashed it to my brother and others during a debate on gun control. He did not do this in any kind of threatening way, just as a point of fact that he carries. However, it has raised some questions amongst my family: why does he feel the need to bring a gun into their home? What if they don't want his gun in their home? He has previously told me that he has been carrying for so long, he feels naked without his gun and doesn't even think about it. I understand that. I also understand my family feeling uncomfortable. But I am at a loss as to how to approach him on this subject, and I worry that it could turn into a serious issue down the road.
Your thoughts and advice on how best to handle this situation would be most appreciated. Thank You...

Answer
Cindy,

As someone who also carries all the time, I understand your boyfriend's point of view as far as "feeling naked" without a firearm.  However, I am a little more discreet about it when I carry into someone's home where I am a guest.  I would never produce a firearm, even if the conversation was about guns...I personally don't feel that it is appropriate.

My suggestion is this...I would explain to him that while you appreciate his desire to carry to protect both himself and you, that your family felt uncomfortable with him handling a firearm in their home.  I would emphasize that they did not feel endangered, but that they just don't feel as comfortable around guns as he does.

Your family has a right to decide who brings a gun into their home and who does not and you should help him understand that.  You might suggest that if he really feels that it is necessary to carry during family visits, to keep the gun concealed and not make an issue of having it.

In my business we often talk about "Concealed means Concealed"...specifically, when I am carrying a gun, NO ONE knows that I have it and I am not doing anything to let anyone know that I have it.  As far as the world is concerned, I am unarmed.  Only I know that I am carrying.  

I think the key is to discuss this with a "can you help me figure this out" kind of approach vs. a "you really shouldn't carry around my family" approach.  If he is a good guy, he should get it.  If he doesn't, it is probably better to find that out sooner vs. later.

Best regards,

Doug Little

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Doug Little

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I can answer questions relating to Legal Concealed Carry in most of the Western US, with detailed knowledge of Concealed Carry laws in Arizona. I have an in-depth understanding of tactical and defensive handgun skills including Close Range Gunfighting, Armed Vehicle Operations, Low Light Gunfighting and Advanced Concealed Carry techniques. I can answer detailed questions regarding Firearms Safety, Gun Handling and Marksmanship techniques. I can also answer detailed questions in the area of Crime Prevention and Victim Avoidance. ***PLEASE NOTE: Despite having done so in the past, I cannot continue to answer questions about valuation of firearms of any kind or questions regarding when a gun was made or what the impact of age or condition might be on the value of any firearm, either contemporary or antique.***

Experience

NRA Training Counselor, NRA instructor for Personal Protection in the Home, Home Firearms Safety, Basic Pistol and Refuse to be a Victim disciplines. Certified by the AZ Dept. of Public Safety as a Firearms Safety Instructor for AZ Concealed Weapons Permit Classes and AZ Unarmed and Armed Security Guard Training. Instructor in both Low Light Gunfighting and Close Range Gunfighting. As a Staff instructor for Suarez International, I teach intermediate and advanced level tactical handgun courses. I am also teach intermediate and advanced level courses in the AR15/M4 and Kalashnikov Rifle platforms. I am a multiple graduate of Gunsite Academy and hold a certificate of Armed Vehicle Operations from them. I have been instructing in Arizona professionally for the past 9 years and have over 20 years shooting experience. Certified by the International Society of Crime Prevention Practitioners as a Crime Prevention Specialist.

Organizations
National Rifle Association, Life Member; International Society of Crime Prevention Practioners; International Defensive Pistol Association; Arizona State Rifle and Pistol Association; Association of Police Marksman; President, US Marshals Posse - District of Arizona

Education/Credentials
BS, Political Science, Appalachian State University; Suarez International - Low Light Instructor, Suarez International - Close Range Gunfighting Instructor, Gunsite Academy - Armed Vehicle Operations, Arizona Department of Public Safety - Firearms Safety Instructor, NRA Instructor Ratings in Personal Protection in Home, Home Firearms Safety and Basic Pistol, ASP Tactical Baton Instructor, ASP Tactical Handcuff Instructor.

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Please visit my website for testimonials at http://www.armedpersonaldefense.com

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