AboutMGR Expertise I try to work with students to look at their goals, academic history, SAT or GRE scores, extracurricular activities, etc.... I then try to help these students figure out where they stand in order to best achieve their goals. At times, I am able to suggest specific schools a student may be interested in.
I am unable to tell students whether or not they will obtain admission to a specific college, however, I am able to provide general guidance.
While I will provide general college / graduate school essay topic advice, I will not provide any editing assistance.
Experience I have been an SAT I, AP Biology, and writing tutor for the past eight years. I have provided college advice and essay editing for many of my former students, and have served on the alum interviewing committee for my alma matter (an ivy league school).
Education/Credentials BA - Environmental Biology
MSEd - In Progress
(Tests Taken: SAT I, SAT II - Math IIC, Biology, GRE, LAST, CST, and various others)
Question Hi. I have recently applied to the Undergraduate program at University of the Pacific in Stockton. I really want to get into this school so I felt that it might be a good idea to write an extra letter to admissions about why I want to go to their college. Is this a good idea? I called and they said they would add it in with my other application stuff. here is what i wanted to say...
Dear Admissions,
I am writing to you because I feel that I have not clearly demonstrated why I feel that the University of the Pacific is the right place for me to further my education and learning. Throughout high school, I had put myself on a quest to find the right college that would identify me as an individual. Since the many times I visited Pacific, I fell in love with the beauty of the campus. The brick buildings, beautiful rose gardens, and the people made me feel that I was not away from home, but at home itself. Another main aspect which strongly attracted me to Pacific was the sense of community. Coming from a high school in which the class size was close to a thousand students which allowed for little interaction between teachers and students, I came to the conclusion that I needed a college in which I could be closer and easily access the teachers. Once I explored what Pacific had to offer both academically and socially, I felt that Pacific was a perfect match for me and I believe that I can positively contribute to the community at Pacific. Throughout these recent months I have gotten closer and closer to your college as I continuously read and learn more about Pacific’s culture and traditions. I wear my Pacific t-shirt I received during Pacific Preview Day proudly to school. I sincerely thank you for your time.
Answer Hi Pratik,
There are many colleges that somewhat frown upon such letters and do not read them, and will simply read the rest of your application as is. In those cases, you want to make sure that all of this information is included somewhere in the application - in the essay, short answers, etc...
However, I do not know much about the University of the Pacific. As you have already called them and they said they would put it in your file, it does not seem like they would frown upon it.
The one concern I have regarding your letter is that it is somewhat generic, and that you begin by talking about the campus. You may want to start with the academics / social issues, and then talk about the campus. Elaborate more to make this letter specific to Pacific... reading it now, while it is beautifully written, it seems that it could apply to many colleges -- what made you feel the sense of community at Pacific? What does Pacific have to offer you academically and HOW can you contribute?
(You may also want to address the letter to "To Whom it May Concern,")
