Help with College & Grad School Applications/Is this bizarre experience a good topic for an admissions essay
Hi, I'm applying to UIUC and the prompt is: How have your past circumstances and experiences(such as your upbringing, community, and/or activities) impacted who you are, your future goals, and your choice of major?
They're looking for very diverse students. I'm gonna do premed course work. I'm applying undecided because I'm not sure what to major in for my undergraduate degree. I'll mention my varied interests and talents (I love physics and math, in addition to psychology and neuroscience) as that is what DGS is looking for. I hope this essay can make me look special.
So here is the idea:
My mom had severe psychiatric issues, bipolar disorder, multiple personality disorder, OCD. My family and I moved to Jordan (middle east) when I was 10 (I'm the oldest of 4). My dad stayed in the US and visited annually.In Jordan my mother's illness was looked upon as demonic possession (She also believed it). At home we had pretty bizarre sessions of "exorcism", she tried suicide multiple times, all this lasted for about 9 years (2003-2011). I'm gonna write about one of the sessions in a story like way from the child me, what he thought was happening (different) and what he learned. As a child I had huge responsibilities and challenges which really made me stronger and taught me how to deal with problems (I had to take care of 2 younger sisters and a brother which was still a year old, in addition to my mom; the house; and school work) . I'll show how curiosity grew in me and how I gained interest in the way the brain works and psychology.
I'm gonna show it as a learning experience and not appear to be complaining or asking for pity.
I want to be a psychiatrist so I can really study people and help those like my mother.
*So what do you think?
I tried to show cultural diversity in my other essay, check it out if you want:D
Thank you for writing. I am impressed by your determination and dedication in the face of adversity. Writing about family problems can be tricky. As you know, there remains a stigma around mental health problems. The statistic for the children of parents with mental health issues are conflicting and for this reason I prefer that my students do not write about such problems in their essays. It is perfectly fine to be vague "My mother suffered from a chronic illness which haunted her, and our family, for many years." Never use "gonna" in formal correspondence. Do not hesitate to write your essay to pull on emotions of the admissions committee. It would be to your benefit to research the faculty in the possible departments in which you would like to major. Research the students who are farther along in the program to see their accomplishments. You want to build a profile in your mind of the type of student this university is seeking. I also want you to apply to several universities. Please look at the Common Application and the Universal Application. It is always a good practice to keep your options open. It is entirely possible that one university might offer you more financial aid than other. Cultural diversity can be a good topic (I do not review essays through allexperts) as long as it underscores your ability to effectively relate to people from other cultures and demonstrate your ease in adapting to new environments.
I wish you the best! -Karen