Expert: Alana - 10/23/2009

Question
HI. What should I do when my dad talks about my body with me? I am 17 years old and he is very in to talking about my body. He tells me stuff like "your beautiful," which is fine, but then he tells me "my jeans look real good" or "have your boobs grown a little sweetie?" I have also caught him masturbating when I was in the same room alone with him. I just igonored him and tried to act like I didn't see him. But I have seen him naked several times and usual he is erect when I see him. I don't try to see him, but he makes opportunities for himself to let me see him. He also has seen me naked in the same ways. I don't think he ever molested me but then maybe he has. He does like to pat my butt sometimes or hug me with his hand around my breast. I also remember being younger like 11 having to take a shower with him a few times because I was going to take one and he decided he needed to take one too so he took it with me. Then he did  touch me but it was just because he would wash my back or something. I did notice at that age even that he was erect. Once he even had me hold his thing while he washed my hair. But that was because I had my eyes closes and he didn't want me to fall. But he was erect when that happened. I don't know, maybe he did molest me, I just didn't realize it. But he is kind of a perv, and I don't know what I should do. Is this normal? What should I do?

Answer
Hey there!

First off, this is NOT OKAY. Nothing in this situation is alright. NOTHING. Your dad should not be doing this to you. It's called incest and is illegal because it is morally and physically wrong. This is completely out of line on his part as a parent. Really, this is dangerous for you. There is nothing okay with this because this situation can lead to your getting seriously hurt.

Now, why is this bad? If your dad is touching you and making you touch him, even if you were naïve, shows that your father is not in the right state of mind. No parent should have sexual desires towards their children, and if they do, should seek help right away.

As of right now, you NEED to tell somebody. Your mother, a teacher, your friend's mother... Someone you can trust. Your father is out of line, and now that you are a teenager who too has sexual desires, he could take advantage of those very desires. Please, tell someone. Everything he is doing is not okay. Notice how I'm repeating to tell someone. GO DO SAY SOMETHING. I can tell you if things go on this way, you won't be happy and will be scarred for life.

Please, sent me an email at abcorey@optonline.net if you want to talk further... Please go tell someone, and good luck. Be safe, and think, do you want the person who loves your mother to try and haver sex with you? Because that is where it's going! Use your head! You know it's wrong!!!

Always here to help,
~ Alana