Expert: Dan - 5/29/2009

Question
Background: 16, Male, currently Sophomore.

So I basically have this fear of talking to other people I don't know fairly well.  So, when I am in classes where there is no one I know, I pretty much only talk when spoken to... This bothers me about myself, because I really want to join conversations with people, but I think that they will think I'm annoying/eavesdropping...   I just don't know how to talk to people well; it probably somehow stems from the fact that pretty much everyone thought I was annoying when I initially moved to where I currently live.

And of course, there is the romantic aspect of all this... The girl I like is a super-smart freshman (she's in my math class, I'm a year ahead in math) and she's beautiful and has a good sense of humor.  Even though I walk by her almost every day going home from school, and even when I walk by her in the hall when there is literally no one else in the hall, I can't bring myself to talk to her for the same reason I can't talk to new people.

I just need some advice on being more comfortable around unfamiliar people, I guess...

Answer
Hey

I had exactly the same problem my friend, but don't worry- things'll sort themselves out eventually.  Just have patience.  What you need is confidence, and you're not going to just get that overnight.  It builds up over time and eventually you just won't care about talking to strangers.  Just don't be so self conscious.  Every time you feel yourself feeling awkward, tell yourself not to.  No one else feels awkward, right?  So why should you?  

Just be cool- you don't have to talk a lot to pick up a girl.  Smile at her, don't look at your feet when you're walking around and feel good about yourself.  Cause whatever happens, your shoes are still tappin, right? Haha.

Best of luck bro!
Dan