You are here:

High School Life/Tough Decisions


Hey Dan,
I have a really difficult decision at hand and I've tried everything I can think of to make it, talk to parents and elders, talk to friends, and weigh out the pros and cons but I'm still stuck.

Since winter break I have been really sick with really bad pains in my stomach but no doctor can come up with a diagnosis. I have seen dozens of doctors and been to many hospitals. The doctor working closest with me wants me to see a gastroenterologist but none in my area will see anyone under 18, I am currently 17 and won't be 18 until January and I can't wait that long to be fixed.
So we are currently waiting to find one specialist who will see me.

This pain has been preventing me from going to school, I am currently in grade 11. I've had to drop 3 out of 4 classes so far because of lack of attendance, and my fourth teacher was just approved by the board to teach me from my home. I'll already have to take summer school and night school both semesters next year to graduate on time.

Now my grandmother came up to where I live in Ontario from New Brunswick to help take care of me. My mom gave me the choice, I can either forfeit my home schooling credit and go back with my grandmother to see if doctors there will help me, or I can get my credit and wait for doctors here to help me. If I forfeit my credit I won't have a choice but to spend an extra year in high school and it's not guaranteed the doctors there will help me. Or, I could get my credit and make me wait even longer than the 4 months I've already waited. My mom told me that I am practically an adult and I need to make this decision on my own for myself because ultimately it's my life, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that.

I know my health should be important but I'm not sure if I should give up the chance for my credit all for a POSSIBILITY of being helped. What is your opinion on what might be the wisest choice?


I'm so sorry I took so long to respond.  I've been bedridden with tonsillitis this past week and in so much pain that I couldn't do anything, so I can really sympathize with you right now.  

Both of these seem like awful decisions, so I guess you just need to decide which is the better of the two.  If one of the issues surrounding your decision is graduating on time, I would take that out of the equation.  It's just not that important to graduate when you're 18 versus when you're 19, since you're still so young and it really won't matter at all in a year or two when you're graduated.  

It just really depends on how bad the pain is.  If it's manageable, then I would stay on and graduate on time.  But if it's so bad that you're always in pain and it's really destroying you, then I would go with your grandmother, even if there's only a "possibility" that you can get better.  One of my friends was recently faced with a similar problem: she had had back problems all of her life and she was clued in to a special experimental operation they're trying in Switzerland (she's French and because it's still only experimental, they don't offer it in her country yet).  She has been in serious pain all of her life and she decided to do it even though there was a risk and only a possibility that it would work.  But it did, and now she's completely fine.

So like I said before, it just depends on the seriousness of the pain.  Putting your life on hold isn't that big of a deal, but only do it if the pain is serious enough to warrant it.  If you think you can grit it out for another six months, then stay and graduate.  But if it's really so crippling that you can't do anything else, go with your grandmother.

Hope this helped a little and once again, I'm really sorry about taking so long to get back to you.


High School Life

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts




I began this profile in 2007 after a bad breakup with my girlfriend at the time. I was a junior in high school then and the breakup left me pretty heartbroken. I found a reprieve in offering advice to others experiencing similar high school traumas and I began writing here. Almost eight years later and I am still a part of AllExperts. Since then I have gone to university, moved to China, begun working an actual job, and experienced many more dramas. I have had wonderful friends who have supported me through all of it, and I am happy to give back whatever I can. Feel free to send me a private or public message and I will respond as soon as I can =)


I have been working for AllExperts for over eight years and have answered over 400 questions to date.

Bachelor of Arts.

©2017 All rights reserved.