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High School Life/How to tell if my friends are cutting me out of their lives?

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Not long ago, I was involved with some trouble with the police. My friends were upset to say the least that I didn't tell them, they found out through someone else. They gave me a second chance though, but they said it was my only chance and if I got into trouble again they would kick me out of the group.

A few months have past since then and they've all been really distant lately. I posted on the group, "who wants to hang out on Tuesday" and Sam answered and said he will see when he finishes work and tell me. He never got back to me.

Later that night(tuesday night), he posted a video of him and his friends at the park hanging out. He hung out with them and ignored me.

Another friend in this group, I messaged him sending him a cool video, he didn't respond, then a few days later I said 'hey' and he didnt respond to that either. It's been 5 days now.

What do I do? How do I respond to their cutting me out? :(

Answer
Hi Yasmin!

I'm surprised that they would cut you out of the group for that. It seems like something parents would be judgemental about, but normally friends are more understanding. Everyone makes mistakes, and unless your mistakes are really serious, they can normally be fixed with time and work.

And that's honestly the only thing you can give them. You don't want to force yourself on them, but if you just leave them alone, they might completely forget about you! I would recommend still gently trying to be accepted by them (like you did by posting on the group) and by being completely open and honest with your feelings. Don't get angry, but tell individuals in the group how you feel (that's better than addressing the group as a whole I think, since people are more likely to be personal when confronted one by one.) Tell them that you're really sorry about what happened and that you want to make it better, but you still feel often like you are being pushed out. You just want to know what you can do to make it better.

I think if you personalize your feelings with the group they will understand. If they don't, then you really shouldn't want them as your friends.

Thanks!
Dan

High School Life

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Dan

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I began this profile in 2007 after a bad breakup with my girlfriend at the time. I was a junior in high school then and the breakup left me pretty heartbroken. I found a reprieve in offering advice to others experiencing similar high school traumas and I began writing here. Almost eight years later and I am still a part of AllExperts. Since then I have gone to university, moved to China, begun working an actual job, and experienced many more dramas. I have had wonderful friends who have supported me through all of it, and I am happy to give back whatever I can. Feel free to send me a private or public message and I will respond as soon as I can =)

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I have been working for AllExperts for over eight years and have answered over 400 questions to date.

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Bachelor of Arts.

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