You are here:

Hindus/Love V Attachment


Sir how do i know that i truly love someone
Or i am attached to her.??
If i am attached,then how do i overcome the attachment?

Dear Sushant,

Love springs from the fact of identifying oneself with the other. Attachment comes from the prolonged exposure to sense pleasures derived from the other person. It is possible to love someone without any attachment. As you rightly understood, most of the time attachment gives an illusion that you are in love. To know the difference between love and attachment pl see Sister Shivani's explanation

If you have close relationship with a person for an extended period of time, it is difficult to figure out the difference between love and attachment. Close relationship in this context means seeing the person, touching the person, listening to the words of the person frequently. Frequency in this context means once in a day or atleast 3 times in a week.

However, if you live with that person permanently, then there is an opportunity to see the true color of the relationship. If there is no love, the attachment will vanish.

It is not necessary to overcome attachment in case there is love between the two. But it is difficult to establish love with another person unless, one gains self-knowledge. Otherwise, the statement 'I love you' actually ends with a fine print 'as long as you give me happiness'. No one loves another for the sake of that person. Until one gain self-knowledge, love can only be selfish.

In other words, you cannot truly love anyone. Because you are primarily interested in your happiness, it will appear that you love someone as long as that person seem to be the source of your happiness. It is like two beggars begging from each other expecting the other person to be rich. Pl see Osho's video

Therefore, to resolve your current problem, you will need to consult your parents or some elderly well wisher and seek guidance. If you give the facts about the other person, they will be able to help you to make a decision.

Thanks for asking this important question. If you need more clarifications pleas do ask me after you watch these videos.

Best wishes,
Raja Subramaniyan  


All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Raja Subramaniyan


Explanation based on Vedanta / Gita which will answer any questions on life leading to Joyful Living


25 years of spiritual studies and written following text books. Gita for Joyful Living ( Path to Joyful Living - I based on Jeeva Yatra ( ) Path to Joyful Living - II based on Sadhana Panchakam( ) Joyful Living based on Panchadashi ( ) Parama Ragasiyam (Tamil) based on Brahma Sutra (


©2017 All rights reserved.