Expert: Le Anne Clausen - 9/18/2008

Question
Hi, I am a 20 years old Iranian guy and have migrated to Trinidad and Tobago with my family 5 years ago. My dad is from India but my mom is from Iran. I have lived in Iran for all of my life before coming to Trinidad and consider myself an Iranian. I have always had problems with my parents because of disagreement over many issues especially religion. Unlike them I am not a religious person but only have respect for every religion. Things are getting worse every day. Especially since they have found out that I am in love with a Trinidadian girl for 3 years. They hate her and since then they hate me too. I am being beaten and taken advantage of at home. I cant work legally here bcuz only have a student visa. I want to leave home as soon as possible. This situation is entering its second year and things are getting worse. I want to escape from home but law does not let me work because my dad is considered the responsible person for me. I am under horrible mental stress. I dont sleep at home at nights bcuz things are so bad. Im working illegaly and go to school at the same time. I dont see any other choice. My parents do not help me financially when angry from me. I want to get away from this situation. If possible go away from Trinidad. I cant do anything here, about a week ago I came back home to find out that they have found and took away all of my savings from the previous 4 months. They have also taken away from me every other stuff which were important to me especially gifts I have received from my girlfriend. They told me that they will give me everything back once I started to obey them. Please help me! I want to get away.

Answer
Greetings Sina, and thanks for your question.  I am sorry to hear that you are in such a difficult situation.  It is not right for your parents to beat you or to take your money or treasured possessions, even if they don't like the girl you are dating.  This is not obedience; it is, as you say, abuse.

I tried to find a human rights organization in the area but have so far been unsuccessful online.  It may be helpful for you to try to find a social worker, a trusted teacher, or even an understanding imam to describe your situation to, and who might have the connections or influence to help intervene in your situation.  Getting other adults involved may be the only way to find a positive change in your situation.  Even if you are not religious, I suggest the imam, as he may have the most influence on your parents.  Or any family friend that might be sympathetic to your situation.  

Otherwise, are there dorms on campus, or anywhere else in the university you can live?  This is another option.  

I wish I had better answers, but perhaps this will be a start.  The very best of luck to you on your way out of this terrible situation!

peace,

Le Anne