AboutMarkus Johnson Expertise I can answer questions on how to improve writing in the forms of fiction or poetry.
Experience I am a teenager with a suprising knack for the English language and creative writing. Every year, since the 4th grade, I have attempted to write a book, which was always seen by those who read it to be enjoyable and creative. I have discovered I also am talented at writing poetry, and my English teachers have all said that they enjoyed my writing.
Education/Credentials I have been in AAP english classes for all of my school years, and, recently, I took the PSAT and recieved a score of 63 in both Writing Skills and Verbal, which would translate into, on the SAT, 630 points. This score was taken out of 80 possible points, meaning that I was only 17 away from a perfect score.
Expert: Markus Johnson Date: 5/19/2008 Subject: creative writing pieces
Question Hi Markus, i am currently writing a story about me inventing the lightbulb because so many people lost their lives to the gas lamp. Here is what i have so far, can you please give some other ideas i can write about...
The moon, sparkling in the crisp night sky. The stars, hovering above, twinkling, shining. The house was dark, but a hint of light shined through the door. The flickering light of the gas lamp burned with the smell of methane. There, in the darkness lied a man, rocking back and forth. A man with greasy black hair, tall and slim, smoking a cigar. His lazy eyes, slowly drifting to sleep. Trying to stay awake, he threw his cigar into the can, not knowing it was still lit. The spark gradually traveled through the room, eventually reaching the lamp. The spark detonated and a raging fire exploded out from the room. Changing from complete darkness to complete daylight, the man leaped out of his chair not knowing what had happened. With a terrified scream, he seized a towel and vigorously attacked the growing flames. It was too late, the fire spread throughout the house, and he fell onto the floor, covered in flames, sent to a never-ending sleep.
There I sat, the next morning, reading my daily papers. Skimming through the pages, until something finally caught my eyes. Printed in bold, Fifth Person Killed by the Lamp. I gradually read the story inspecting each and every word. I couldn’t believe it, another life taken this week because of the gas lamp! I knew something must be done. I quickly finished my breakfast, forcing myself to swallow the food that remained. I was an inventor after all; it is my job to help improve the life of others.
I walked to my room, and rapidly got changed. Immediately, I headed downstairs and grabbed a pair of dirty goggles and gloves. I plunged onto my chair and started thinking. Pondering how I could improve the gas lamp and invent a device that provided light and at the same time safer to use. . I sat at my desk for hours and hours writing my thoughts onto a piece of paper. Pieces of crumbled up paper filled the floor increasing and increasing. Soon, my room was flooded with paper and seemed like a storm just passed by. It was a mess.
Thanks so much.
Answer Chris,
I am so sorry for the delay! My Internet has been down for awhile, and I forgot all about my e-mail because of it.
Anyway, I'd like to say that I like how this story sounds, but I have one question: Are you trying to write as if you were the inventor of the lightbulb, Thomas Edison? If so, you will want to do a lot of research on how he discovered how to create the lightbulb.
If you are not writing as Thomas Edison, you still may find it helpful to research Edison's discovery of the lightbulb, as a reference as to how your character can create it.
As to what you may want to consider to make the story more entertaining, maybe you should consider him giving up on the idea for a few days, then it just hits him in something he reads or sees. If you take that road, try to make it as much of a sudden thing as possible. Sort of like a "lightbulb" lighting over his head, right? (Yeah, I'm corny. I know)
